Donating Unwanted Heirloom

[Anonymous]

OP, how old is it? Where was it manufactured? If it has any value beyond a family heirloom, you might find a small museum that would be interested. I know it sounds silly but my MIL has found homes for a few of her favorite old pieces because she and my FIL had an eye for unusual pieces in their youth..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you! And I'd rather not sell it and make money off of it, even though I'm sure the family would never find out, it doesn't feel right!

What if you sold it and donated the money to an organization that has some family significance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be facing this situation in years to come, but with much bigger pieces of furniture. My mother spent thousands of dollars on fine wood furniture when she and my father purchased their house 30 years ago. She expects to pass all of it on to me or my sister. Problem is, neither of us have room for such furniture (think big chunky dining table that fits up to 12 people). My sister lives in a studio apartment and already said she has no desire to take on a huge mortgage just to fit our mother's collection. I live in a small house and the furniture is just not my style. Even if it is my style, it would cost more to ship it than it's even worth at this point.

So, yes, our heirloom load may end up at Goodwill one day.

30-year-old furniture isn't an heirloom, although I know some parents want their kids to treat it as though it is.

Let this be a lesson to all of us when we buy stuff: Someday the things you find so special and beautiful may be at Goodwill, or even the curb.

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you decide to do, if you've done anything yet?

I have to agree that you should notify family members clearly and with a very specific date for when you need it out of your house--whether "out of the house" means donated, sold or given to a family member.

OP, you need to know that the announcement that something that is thought of as a "family" piece is no longer wanted can spark a lot of memories, and a lot of sudden regrets or desire for an item to stay in the family, in some folks.

Some people who haven't thought about the rocking horse in many years might suddenly be contacting you to say, "Oh, I remember it so fondly and really hope you won't let it go out of the family" even if they then add that they, themselves, cannot take it. (After all, if you don't have room for it, likely others don't have room either, even if they are more sentimentally attached to it than you are). If you get that response, I hope you'll treat them gently. That doesn't mean keeping an item if it's truly huge and you know for sure that you will not regret donating/selling it in years to come. But maybe, if someone comes to you begging you not to get rid of it but unable to take it themselves, you can hang onto it long enough to say, "I do have to have it out of our home but will extend this deadline only until New Date X so you can see if you can get anyone else to give it a home." Do stick to your date and do remind them closer to your deadline.

My close friend ran into all this with a family home that had to be cleared out and had some large items in it. No one had room in their own homes for these things but other than my friend and her sister, no one was willing to be frank and say, it's time to let this stuff go "out of the family." It did create some rancor, despite friend and sister doing their best to give people a lot of notice and a lot of time to take things or find others to take things. It was surprising to them how much emotion suddenly popped up over possessions once people heard those items were going to go away--but they had no way to take them for themselves. Just be aware that you might encounter this. I hope you don't, though.

I love the idea from a PP about seeing if this horse could be of interest to a local museum or historical society collection etc.

[Anonymous]

I had my great great grandmother's bureau for years, and then I didn't want it any longer. I offered to ship it (which probably would have cost more than it was worth) to another family member who was sure it was valuable or was, at any rate, a precious family heirloom.

She didn't want it; she just didn't want me to get rid of it.

I found a total stranger who thought it was the most beautiful thing ever (it was not). I gave it to her, happy it had found a good home.

A cousin (who also didn't want it) told me she was proud of me for not succumbing to sentiment.