s/o arranging play dates for ESL family
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Anonymous
| My son, who has struggled to develop a close friendship, had a great time with a classmate at recess yesterday. After I asked him a few more questions, he even said the other boy said "Maybe we can be friends?" The parent has opted out of email communication but I have their contact info from last year's school directory. After a quick chat with DS teacher, I discovered it is due to language as they do not speak english. It appears that neither of our boys are social butterflies and this other boy doesn't seem to have any close friendships at school either. Would it be overstepping to have a friend help me draft a letter, in their language, to suggest a playdate for our children? If so, would you suggest an email or a letter sent home in the other boy's backpack? I am the room parent and would love to find a way to include his parents but don't want to overstep and make them uncomfortable. |
Anonymous
| I think that sounds like a great idea-the worst that happens is that they don't respond. |
Anonymous
| bingo. what language, op? |
Anonymous
Spanish. I really think I'm the only person in the world who doesn't speak spanish. I need to take some classes but I have flashbacks to conjugating verbs in 8th grade french and start sucking my thumb, lol. My husband speaks some spanish so he might be able to make them feel comfortable if they came over. I also have a couple neighbors that are fluent so there are plenty of resources. Gawd, I'm SO midwestern. It's humiliating sometimes. |
Anonymous
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I think that is great! keep it simple. Since the term playdate is not used widely by others, just say, please give me a call or have your kid translate on the phone to see if we can meet at a park. it might be kidna hard. if you can invite one other friend that speaks that language, it would help a bit. Remember, some working parents might not be able to use the phone anytime of the day.
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Anonymous
| What a nice idea! My parents were immigrants and struggled with English. They would have appreciated a letter like this. |
Anonymous
| My son's best friend's parents speak limited English and the kids arrange most times they hang out. It has been years and by now we (parents) have exchanged emails and phone numbers. Most communication is still through the kids. They sound a little older than yours but met in 1st grade. If he's over our house and we need to ask a question it's easiest to have him call his parents. Same goes with if they have a question for us. Our son will be there and call to ask if he can stay for dinner or go someplace with the family. Despite the language and cultural differences we have gotten to all know and trust each other very much. Having you send an initial letter in Spanish in the backpack is a great idea. |
Anonymous
Oh please! It's not you who should feel bad  if they wanted to truly integrate they would get a e-mailbox and check it regularly because it is their kid's education! Dang, they may have even tried to read some emails!
I found it was easier for me and them to do face to face. At least we finally set up a play date after months of emails and texts. It is sad how some parents hinder their kids' social and academic development. Opting out of teacher emails- that says a lot! Rant over. |
Anonymous
Wow, you want their son to be your kid's friend, but you are so pushy and judgy. Some people don't use a computer regularly for work. Or have a smartphone. And setting up your stupid playdate is not "education". They probably get called by a school staff who speaks spanish if they need to be reached. |
Anonymous
NP here. PP, it's a big assumption to think this family doesn't "want to integrate." You don't know them or their reasons for opting out of email. This family may not have a computer at home or may not have phones that are easy to use for email. Even in 2016 there are families who can't afford technology that others take for granted. That was the exactly the case with some families in one school our DD attended in early elementary. Or the parents may have the tech but feel profoundly uncomfortable, due to language issues or long work days where they can't necessarily see email while working, with trying to use email to communicate with teachers and so they opt out of teacher emails in order to be sure they are contacted in writing. OP, you are doing the right thing to pursue this. Try the letter. Our school has parent volunteers who translated school documents as needed -- maybe if your school has such volunteers they could help you here. |
Anonymous
Please read more carefully. It is not OP who made the comments to which you're responding. |
Anonymous
| Op, are you still here? I'm a native spanish speaker and would be glad to translate your letter to them. I think it's very nice what you are trying to do. |
Anonymous
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We opted out of the school directory. Its posted online where everyone can see it. We have family issues where it is not in my child's best interests to advertise where he goes to school. It doesn't mean we don't want to be contacted but it was all or nothing so we had to choose nothing.
OP, send a note or even write a letter to their home address. I'd do it in Spanish and English and say you do not speak Spanish. We are in that situation as the favorite kid who is nice to my child parents only speak Spanish. They had to do something right to have such a nice child. |
Anonymous
| Yes, contact the parents, especially since you are a room parent. Google translate is not perfect, but you could try that and then post your letter here for crowd sourced corrections. |
Anonymous
Duh, the parents still do not speak English and opt out instead of learning? Have been in a school system for over 2 years. It will ALWAYS be Spanish. They don't care to assimilate. |