Long Commute with Elementary Kids at Home

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09/22/2016 23:38

Subject: Long Commute with Elementary Kids at Home

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Anonymous

Summary: We have two sons, ages 9 and 7. I'm looking for some input/advice/anecdotes on dealing with a very long commute when you have children around this age. This arrangement would last for one year. Any thoughts would be most welcome.

TL;DR version: When my husband and I got married, I was an administrative assistant. Not exactly a superstar career, right? So when my husband started earning good money and we started having babies, it made sense for me to stay home for a couple of years. I've since dipped in and out of the workforce depending on where we were living at the time (we've moved around a bit for DH's career), but all of my jobs have been pretty low-level: bookkeeper, office manager, things like that. I've been bored with these roles for a while, but I never really went after anything more intense. These jobs were generally 9-5 or part-time gigs for family-friendly organizations not very far from home, and for a long time I was content with that tradeoff, and deliberately sought it out.

But six months ago, we moved again for DH's work (we are thinking for the last time until the kids are out of high school - fingers crossed!) and I started looking for a job. I wanted to try and push myself beyond office manager. I've got a master's degree now - I managed to swing that when I was working one of those admin roles - and I figured, why not at least try to aim a little higher now that I have this degree? It hasn't gone well, unfortunately. It's not like I'm applying to be CEO, but I think when hiring managers see my resume with all its low-level jobs, they dismiss me pretty quickly as a member of the secretarial pool.

One option is to take an Office Manager kind of role and try to move up the ranks, and that's what I'll probably do if nothing else works out. (Though realistically, how often have you seen that happen?) But in the meantime, I've managed to land one interview for a slightly higher-level job. It's a one-year contract with an amazing company and would, I think, be such a huge step in the right direction. It also pays significantly more than anything else I've ever done. I think having this on my resume could be the thing that changes the course of my career.

The big big big downside, however, is that it's a good 90+ minute commute each way. Ugh. I'm not in the DC area anymore, but if you know the Bay Area, it's San Jose to SF. It's the kind of commute people say NEVER to. I could use public transportation, so I wouldn't be sitting in traffic the whole time, but it's a hell of a lot of hours out of the week when I'm not with my children.

On the plus side, DH has a short commute and works for a wonderful, flexible employer. He could pick up a lot of the slack and is supportive. And I tell myself, it's only a year. A person can put up with anything for a year, and then going forward I can take this experience and use it to get a job much closer to home.

On the negative side, I'd be leaving the house before my children wake up in the morning and seeing them only after they eat dinner. I couldn't do anything with them during the week.

Part of me just wants to say "fuck all of it" and drive for uber or something. I'd make some money, if not a lot, and it would be completely my own schedule. But then I start thinking about the possibilities with this job and get really excited.

Anyone been there? Would you do it for a year to improve your career, or no way never no how? Is that kind of commute as terrible as I'm imagining it is?

Thanks!