Long Commute with Elementary Kids at Home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I live in San Jose and have done that commute; it's not fun, but it's doable. And I don't as in the most southern part of SJ... if you can flex your time at all (either going really early or starting at 9:30 or 10 and leaving a little late (after 6:@0) the drive won't take more than an hour, hour ten most days. I would do it; what do you have to lose? If it doesn't work, give notice and then drive uber or whatever.

I'm one of the former Bay Area resident poster. Now a days, even if you leave at 9:30am, the commute on that 101 corridor will SUCK!. I did it from the Peninsula down to Mountain view at about 9:15, and it sucked. That little stretch alone was taking me about 45min at 9:15, and this was a few years ago. With the expansion of Facebook and others, 101 has become a parking lot even at 9:30am, including going north.

OP - would 280 be faster? Even though that route is longer miles wise, after Palo Alto area, it opens up so at least you are not stuck in traffic. You might be able to cut over on the 92, or even the 380. I used to do this from San Jose to South San Francisco. Try using google maps during the time you would be commuting to see which way is faster.

[Anonymous]

Do it for 6months and then start your job hunt closer to home.

[Anonymous]

At 7 and 9, no. The children still need a parent too much. In a few years, when they're older.

[Anonymous]

But I also think it's important for my children to see that mom's work (as in career jobs, not just "work at home" or "volunteer but call it work" etc.)

Ugh. I'm divorced but "work at home" at a GS-14 attorney - is that good enough for you?

[Anonymous]

Where in San Jose? We used to live in Almaden and just getting to 101 would take an hour and that was 10 years ago!

And yes, moving here from San Jose, we felt like we won the lottery!

[Anonymous]

I live in the DC area and my commute is 90 minutes both ways. Sometimes longer. I have elementary children at home and it's hard. I leave most days by 6 and not home until bedtime most nights. I miss sports practices and school meetings regularly. That said- I love my job and I don't necessarily have another option at this time. My DH takes the kids to all activities and is amazingly supportive of my career. I think if you really want that higher level position you should at least try for it. It's one year. I also don't believe that it hurts kids to see their mother going for and achieving difficult things. You got a masters for a reason.

I also agree with other posters that administrative staff can and do move up all the time in my industry. It may take a little longer but educated and motivated employees get noticed and appropriately moved.

Not sure if my post helps or not because I think you're in a good situation either way.

[Anonymous]

You don't have the job yet. Go to the interview and see if you even get the offer. Then figure it out.

I would do it for a year, and plan to carve out long weekends whenever possible.

[Anonymous]

I just did a contract that was abt an hour commute. It was 6 months with a 7 and 3 yr old.

I didn't have energy past month three.

I didn't cook at all. I didn't clean. House was a disaster but DH commutes and has killer hours.

Someone else cooked meals 3-4 days a week or we picked up.

When contract was extended, I resigned. I know an hour I should typical but omg I couldn't do it with responsibilities falling apart at home. I am now looking. I know I need to be close to home.

However, I do not regret the opportunity bc it amazing. I was just burned out from parental duties and zero wind down time.

[Anonymous]

Pp poster. If my contract had been1yr to start with I would have never left. I loved so much about the role. And about having a place to go and prove myself. However I knew I couldn't accept and then quit, I feel that would have been worse.