NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

NCS is a pressure cooker -- definitely not a good fit for some girls. Better to leave and be happy then to stay and flounder in Upper School.

[Anonymous]

Do most 8th graders go to MORP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NCS is a pressure cooker -- definitely not a good fit for some girls. Better to leave and be happy then to stay and flounder in Upper School.

My understanding of those who left is not because of the academic pressures, but the social dysfunction among students in NCS.

[Anonymous]

The administration is not focused on the students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NCS is a pressure cooker -- definitely not a good fit for some girls. Better to leave and be happy then to stay and flounder in Upper School.

My understanding of those who left is not because of the academic pressures, but the social dysfunction among students in NCS.

I have the opposite understanding. But then, I only know of 2 middle schoolers leaving. One is moving out of the area, and the other's family is facing economic changes.

[Anonymous]

Truly mean spirited girls in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The administration is not focused on the students.

Not my impression -- they've done things like implement a homework limit and change the upper school schedule for next year so students won't generally have every class every day. I think they are listening and working on trying to ameliorate stress. With that said, it is an intense and high-powered parent body and the kids reflect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NCS is a pressure cooker -- definitely not a good fit for some girls. Better to leave and be happy then to stay and flounder in Upper School.

My understanding of those who left is not because of the academic pressures, but the social dysfunction among students in NCS.

DD left in an older grade for precisely this reason. She was an extremely strong student so it wasn't the academic stress. It was just a toxic, cold environment. I emphasize this because there are many who are quick to judge and say that my DD muct not have been able to cut it academically. Perhaps there are girls who leave for that reason, but in my experience they leave because they are just plain unhappy and no one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The administration is not focused on the students.

+1. The head of the school has no idea whats going on with the students. The upper school head is happy to deal with successful students and for unhappy girls to leave.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why, but it still surprises me when people make blanket statements about educators to the extent of "they don't care about the students. I know it is hard to see your child hurting, but as someone who had her share of tough days in middle school in particular, I don't know what teachers/administrators could have done.

It's scarcely original to say that from about 12 - 17 is a hard age to be a girl -- girls are hard on themselves and each other. Maybe the all-girls' milieu makes some things worse but other things are worse in co-ed situations. I'd be interested if people have concrete examples of things that other all-girls' schools have put in place to make them kindler and gentler -- not to prove anyone wrong or pick fights, but because I'm genuinely curious about what kind of adult interventions can make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why, but it still surprises me when people make blanket statements about educators to the extent of "they don't care about the students. I know it is hard to see your child hurting, but as someone who had her share of tough days in middle school in particular, I don't know what teachers/administrators could have done.

It's scarcely original to say that from about 12 - 17 is a hard age to be a girl -- girls are hard on themselves and each other. Maybe the all-girls' milieu makes some things worse but other things are worse in co-ed situations. I'd be interested if people have concrete examples of things that other all-girls' schools have put in place to make them kindler and gentler -- not to prove anyone wrong or pick fights, but because I'm genuinely curious about what kind of adult interventions can make a difference.

I'm not that PP but I have had children at several different DC privates, including NCS, and I can tell you that NCS is different and that the reason they are different is because they don't care about the students. I didn't write that but its accurate.

The homework limit is meaningless in the upper school, completely meaningless. And tinkering with schedules is precisely the kind of cosmetic thing they do to convince themselves that they really, really care. Easy stuff. But never the hard stuff because ultimately, they don;t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why, but it still surprises me when people make blanket statements about educators to the extent of "they don't care about the students. I know it is hard to see your child hurting, but as someone who had her share of tough days in middle school in particular, I don't know what teachers/administrators could have done.

It's scarcely original to say that from about 12 - 17 is a hard age to be a girl -- girls are hard on themselves and each other. Maybe the all-girls' milieu makes some things worse but other things are worse in co-ed situations. I'd be interested if people have concrete examples of things that other all-girls' schools have put in place to make them kindler and gentler -- not to prove anyone wrong or pick fights, but because I'm genuinely curious about what kind of adult interventions can make a difference.

I'm not that PP but I have had children at several different DC privates, including NCS, and I can tell you that NCS is different and that the reason they are different is because they don't care about the students. I didn't write that but its accurate.

The homework limit is meaningless in the upper school, completely meaningless. And tinkering with schedules is precisely the kind of cosmetic thing they do to convince themselves that they really, really care. Easy stuff. But never the hard stuff because ultimately, they don;t care.

You sound sort of unhinged.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that sounds unhinged. Holton has some good models for making social life work, starting with zero tolerance for cliques and bullying from lower school on up. The one thing you can get in the most trouble for there is being a mean girl. Parent grade reps, teachers, and administrators monitor things to try to live up to that ideal. Nothing is perfect but they certainly care and try, and they are constantly looking for ways to expand wellness and a more holistic approach to educating and nurturing the whole student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why, but it still surprises me when people make blanket statements about educators to the extent of "they don't care about the students. I know it is hard to see your child hurting, but as someone who had her share of tough days in middle school in particular, I don't know what teachers/administrators could have done.

It's scarcely original to say that from about 12 - 17 is a hard age to be a girl -- girls are hard on themselves and each other. Maybe the all-girls' milieu makes some things worse but other things are worse in co-ed situations. I'd be interested if people have concrete examples of things that other all-girls' schools have put in place to make them kindler and gentler -- not to prove anyone wrong or pick fights, but because I'm genuinely curious about what kind of adult interventions can make a difference.

I'm not that PP but I have had children at several different DC privates, including NCS, and I can tell you that NCS is different and that the reason they are different is because they don't care about the students. I didn't write that but its accurate.

The homework limit is meaningless in the upper school, completely meaningless. And tinkering with schedules is precisely the kind of cosmetic thing they do to convince themselves that they really, really care. Easy stuff. But never the hard stuff because ultimately, they don;t care.

You sound sort of unhinged.

Why? I suspect every single parent of an upper school girl at NCS would agree that in the higher grades the homework limit is meaningless. And I can't imagine any parent thinking that juggling the schedule will do anything about the social atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

All scheduling and homework and the rest aside, the administrators , particularly the Head of School and the US Head do not care. It's fundraising for the Head and a power trip for the US Head.