Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's adult daughter sent him ONE Christmas pic of the grandkids, sitting on the lap of another grandparent who my DH can't stand.

Maybe you and your DH are the problem.

Sounds like, especially since PP is just a stepmother, not a real mother to the adult she is criticizing. No wonder they didn’t want to spend the holidays with you. Was the “other grandparent” your husband’s first wife and the only mother of his children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's adult daughter sent him ONE Christmas pic of the grandkids, sitting on the lap of another grandparent who my DH can't stand.

Maybe you and your DH are the problem.

Perhaps one day you may be divorced and your kids go live with your spouse and their affair partner who they married. People ask if you have any holiday photos of grandkids and then you get to proudly show this ONE photo off, with follow up questions as to who person in photo is. Then you too can be the "problem"

Perhaps one day you can let go of things that happened years and years ago. Perhaps you can learn empathy for the kids who were put in a bad position by your inability to stay married and are doing the best they can. Perhaps you can stop living your live as a Facebook granny and stop trading pictures as currency. Finally, perhaps you can look in the mirror and realize with an attitude like the one you're displaying, you are definitely and totally the problem.

+100. It was nice of her to send a photo at all. Go crawl back under your miserable rock.

[Anonymous]

I discovered I am the person (like my dad) who immediately puts stuff away! Point taken . That was my mother's petty vent. I just automatically "clean up."

[Anonymous]

My mom made cake mix cupcakes and mix cookies. Ugh. They were horrible but I’d never say a word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece is 8 and nuero-typical (so no reason for this other than her coo coo mom that my brother married). Mom homeschools niece and niece can’t read. I asked Christmas night what the plan was if niece continued to be unable to read since this approach does not appear to be working (like please send the kid to school!) and SIL screamed at me she would raise her kid how she sees fit. The next morning SIL and brother rise at 10am and we cross paths in the hallway on their way to the bathroom. SIL stood there with her eyes closed. I say “good morning” and she replied the sun is too bright and she is going back to bed. I hear from my mom today SIL is saying I argued with her on Xmas night (i think attacked is how she described it) so SIL avoided me the next morning. I realize that SIL standing there with her eyes shut was her version of avoiding me.
This is more of a heinous vent because my 8 year old niece being unschooled is heinous but I appreciate the space to vent.

Nah. You're the AH. Leave sil to parent the kid as she sees fit. You caused the problems. I'd avoid you too. How do you know the child is neurotypical? Are you a doctor? Have you done an assessment? I'm a mom with kids with serious medical issues and learning disabilities that no one knows about because they aren't obvious. I detest asshats like you.

+1

How they educated THEIR daughter is not your business.

[Anonymous]

Is this petty? My ILs sent out a photo Christmas cards of all of their grandchildren/my DC + SIL DC.

Years past, GMo would pose holding my infant DC and as the family grew, each grandparent holding a DC.

Bugs me like they are the parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents insist on mashed rutabaga in addition to all the actual good sides of a turkey dinner, so my house presently smells like dirt and ass.

It's a hangover food from the Great Depression. My dad eats it (95) as well as onion sandwiches because that's all they had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

Yes!!! And I’m assuming she wanted to go to the store with you and put her groceries in with your oranges 😂
This same SIL of mine (I’m PP) came to visit us for a week about a year ago and she wanted different food than what we had in our house (no food allergies or anything like that, not diabetic, not vegan). Mind you we have a selection of very normal foods, both healthy and junky. She asks her brother, my husband, to drive her to the grocery to buy some other food. He was like ok fine, what store are you thinking - Giant? Whole Foods? What’s your budget here (or something along those lines that somehow alluded to the fact that she was buying her own groceries, obviously). She balked and was like “you can’t buy them for me?” He was like “no, we have tons of food here and are already treating you to dinners out, is there something going on we don’t know? Why do I need to purchase you your own individual carton of blueberries when we have fruit here?” She was so irritated she didn’t go to the store after all, ate our food (which she was welcome to!) and had her mother take her to the store later that week where she bought s ton of random stuff that she didn’t even eat a third of, like margarine.

Who the heck buys margarine?

Again, a depression food. And some eat it thinking it's heart healthy. Some use it for cooking because it provides better texture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this petty? My ILs sent out a photo Christmas cards of all of their grandchildren/my DC + SIL DC.

Years past, GMo would pose holding my infant DC and as the family grew, each grandparent holding a DC.

Bugs me like they are the parents?

Every grandparent I know on Facebook does it. Why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

Yes!!! And I’m assuming she wanted to go to the store with you and put her groceries in with your oranges 😂
This same SIL of mine (I’m PP) came to visit us for a week about a year ago and she wanted different food than what we had in our house (no food allergies or anything like that, not diabetic, not vegan). Mind you we have a selection of very normal foods, both healthy and junky. She asks her brother, my husband, to drive her to the grocery to buy some other food. He was like ok fine, what store are you thinking - Giant? Whole Foods? What’s your budget here (or something along those lines that somehow alluded to the fact that she was buying her own groceries, obviously). She balked and was like “you can’t buy them for me?” He was like “no, we have tons of food here and are already treating you to dinners out, is there something going on we don’t know? Why do I need to purchase you your own individual carton of blueberries when we have fruit here?” She was so irritated she didn’t go to the store after all, ate our food (which she was welcome to!) and had her mother take her to the store later that week where she bought s ton of random stuff that she didn’t even eat a third of, like margarine.

Who the heck buys margarine?

Again, a depression food. And some eat it thinking it's heart healthy. Some use it for cooking because it provides better texture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are staying with my in-laws, and everything is mostly great, but my MIL cannot be persuaded to buy anything other than Scott tp. It is the worst.

I get it but if she has an older septic system that might be all she can use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn't buy or wrap any gifts for our DDs, their significant others or any of our 6 small Grands. All I asked this year was for him to handle his picky Mom's and sweet Dad's gifts. I have bought that woman everything under the sun over the past 35 years and have never seen her use or wear one gift. I do love her so most recently we just give her gift cards to places she likes. I was about to order her one but DH stopped me and said he'd get something...Right before they arrived, he asked me what we'd give them....He grabbed a throw we'd been gifted and threw on a bow

Stop saying “grands” ugh. Just no, Carole.

Omg my MIL (who actually IS a Carol) says this and it’s so cringeworthy!!!

My ILs sent a Christmas photocard of “Our Grands”

They got this from my mom, I swear because she has used this term for years!

Unfortunately, this term has been making the rounds for well over 10 years in Boomer communities. Your mom didn’t invent “Grands,” sorry.

It's true. My nieces use it. "Grands" is a thing. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/a34437946/alternative-names-grandma-grandpa/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am grown. I don’t need a gift (and don’t have a lot of wants currently that I’d ask my parents for due to mainly cost).
Apparently my mother decided last week that my not having a gift under the tree was unthinkable and started texting me multiple times a day because a check/card is omg she can’t think about that.

Finally on tuesday I pinged her that Starbucks is doing their tumbler with free coffee everyday in January (I live two city blocks from a starbucks).
After asking if she could get it at the Starbucks kiosk in their neighborhood grocery store and me not being 100%, sure asked me to “pick it up and she’ll write me a check”. They have a corporate (stand-alone) starbucks in their neighborhood too.

Classic

But perfectly reasonable (I have much older parents struggling with all sorts of issues and dementia). PP's Mom is trying to work as best as she can with her Christmas card list and wants something quick and done for PP. PP pings her back with something inconvenient to Mom. (Frankly I wouldn't drive to a Starbucks to get a tumbler/free coffee deal for anyone - I will however spend many more dollars to do it more easily, fast and gift-wrapped on amazon). Mom doesn't want to add another driving chore to her day - made clear by her question of whether could she get it at the kiosk (Of course is the answer) but makes it clear she doesn't want the separate trip to the Starbucks so opts for the next easily option which is write a check. Then she's one and done and can move on down the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are flying this morning after having to delay bc of a stomach virus. The airport is super busy and my tsa pre check wasn’t added to my ticket so I’m standing in the long line with the regulars which is vent #1. # 2 is the mansplaining guy in the pre heck line who told me, before I asked him about it, that if I had to ask what tsa pre heck is, I didn’t have it.

Mansplainers suck. Sorry, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn't buy or wrap any gifts for our DDs, their significant others or any of our 6 small Grands. All I asked this year was for him to handle his picky Mom's and sweet Dad's gifts. I have bought that woman everything under the sun over the past 35 years and have never seen her use or wear one gift. I do love her so most recently we just give her gift cards to places she likes. I was about to order her one but DH stopped me and said he'd get something...Right before they arrived, he asked me what we'd give them....He grabbed a throw we'd been gifted and threw on a bow

Stop saying “grands” ugh. Just no, Carole.

Omg my MIL (who actually IS a Carol) says this and it’s so cringeworthy!!!

My ILs sent a Christmas photocard of “Our Grands”

They got this from my mom, I swear because she has used this term for years!

You say Grands, I think biscuits!

Unfortunately, this term has been making the rounds for well over 10 years in Boomer communities. Your mom didn’t invent “Grands,” sorry.