Inheritance: not much $, 2 kids, many sibs (bio full, bio half, step, and foster)

[Anonymous]

Motivated to write my will. My kids will get the bulk of any funds and most physical items worth anything like nice furniture. I'd want my DH to get my rings. I plan to leave sentimental items of limited financial worth to siblings. But I have a LOT of them. Is it fair to leave nothing or trinkets to those siblings with whom I am not close(that includes a full bio sibling, the two steps, and one of the foster sibs) or is it wrong to pick and choose? I don't want to do it by category of sibling because that is not how we were raised. I am closer to two half-sibs and one foster sub than all the rest. I think they are ones that would treasure a momento of me for its emotional value over the monetary worth.

[Anonymous]

Do what you want, but keep it a secret. That way you don't have to take any heat. We've got a lot of stuff in our wills that only our lawyer and one or two completely trustworthy people know about. Very simple solution.

[Anonymous]

Leave a letter about the personal things and give him you wish them to be given rather than listing in your will. I do not remember why but this is what lawyer told us to do.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. I like the idea of keeping it very private.

[Anonymous]

Keep it private. My MIL was living with someone (who stole all her stuff and money so it was worthless) but the woman and her sisters convinced her to leave them a bunch of family things even though I know its not what she wanted. She's now in a nursing home and the siblings call regularly for the stuff (which I think they already took). (The few things we do have I'm not handing over given how they treat her and she wasn't of sound mind to make the decisions).

[Anonymous]

Leave it all to us and and kids but tell husband to give sentimental stuff as gifts to sibs as appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave it all to us and and kids but tell husband to give sentimental stuff as gifts to sibs as appropriate.

Should say "leave it all to husband and kids" (but if you want to leave it all to us, that's cool too).

[Anonymous]

I'd try to find a token for them all, honestly. Doesn't have to be valuable. It would hurt to know you left things to a few of our siblings specifically but not me. Why leave the ill will behind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Motivated to write my will. My kids will get the bulk of any funds and most physical items worth anything like nice furniture. I'd want my DH to get my rings. I plan to leave sentimental items of limited financial worth to siblings. But I have a LOT of them. Is it fair to leave nothing or trinkets to those siblings with whom I am not close(that includes a full bio sibling, the two steps, and one of the foster sibs) or is it wrong to pick and choose? I don't want to do it by category of sibling because that is not how we were raised. I am closer to two half-sibs and one foster sub than all the rest. I think they are ones that would treasure a momento of me for its emotional value over the monetary worth.

OP- I feel like you are overthinking this. I feel like most people would not expect or trinkets or mementos from dead siblings. Are you trying to create drama among your siblings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Motivated to write my will. My kids will get the bulk of any funds and most physical items worth anything like nice furniture. I'd want my DH to get my rings. I plan to leave sentimental items of limited financial worth to siblings. But I have a LOT of them. Is it fair to leave nothing or trinkets to those siblings with whom I am not close(that includes a full bio sibling, the two steps, and one of the foster sibs) or is it wrong to pick and choose? I don't want to do it by category of sibling because that is not how we were raised. I am closer to two half-sibs and one foster sub than all the rest. I think they are ones that would treasure a momento of me for its emotional value over the monetary worth.

OP- I feel like you are overthinking this. I feel like most people would not expect or trinkets or mementos from dead siblings. Are you trying to create drama among your siblings?

+1 I am very close to my two siblings and each of them as a partner and a child. I would never expect to receive something tangible from them (even of no value) if they die (I am the oldest, so hopefully I will be the first) because I do certainly do not need it to remember them and everything they have, even personal, should go to their families, kids in particular. for the same reasons I did not think of leaving anything for them in my will. like them, I already have mementos from when we were little, photographs, an old shirt that both me and my sister used, a saxophone both me and my brother played (and if her daughter wants to play it when she is older, he just needs to ask and I will give it to him right away, like he gave me his clarinet when my DD turned 8 and started playing). unless there is something very specific that you know one of your sibling would like (when my 90 old grandma died she had left everything to husband and kids, except for a tiny rosary that had belonged to her mother - she left that to her sister, since it was the only intimately personal item of their mother that was left and we thought it made sense) , if you are close to them and share a life with them I don't see why you think you should leave them something, especially if this results in leaving something to some siblings and nothing to others.

[Anonymous]

I'm with the others on it being weird that you want to give them stuff of no value. When you die, all that matters is the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Motivated to write my will. My kids will get the bulk of any funds and most physical items worth anything like nice furniture. I'd want my DH to get my rings. I plan to leave sentimental items of limited financial worth to siblings. But I have a LOT of them. Is it fair to leave nothing or trinkets to those siblings with whom I am not close(that includes a full bio sibling, the two steps, and one of the foster sibs) or is it wrong to pick and choose? I don't want to do it by category of sibling because that is not how we were raised. I am closer to two half-sibs and one foster sub than all the rest. I think they are ones that would treasure a momento of me for its emotional value over the monetary worth.

OP- I feel like you are overthinking this. I feel like most people would not expect or trinkets or mementos from dead siblings. Are you trying to create drama among your siblings?

+1

People don't want your stuff.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others that sentimental items typically don't go to siblings--they'd go to kids. Maybe that changes with specific items, but I can't really think of things my siblings own that I'd want to inherit over their kids.

[Anonymous]

Also wanted to add: wouldn't your DH, not your kids, get the furniture in your shared residence?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Do they still live at home?

I would assume that if they are younger, and you and DH live in a shared residence and are raising them together, you would be giving DH all of your furniture, your half of said residence, basically all of your money and stuff to help him raise the kids.

Unless you both die at the same time. Then you would need to set up a trust for both of your stuff to support your kids until they turn 18/finish college/whatever you choose.

Otherwise, wouldn't it be wierd to leave your furniture to your 5 year old? What--is dad going to ask his son if he can use the sofa until the kid goes to college?