Parents who supply alcohol for parties

[Anonymous]

So, there is a small but omnipresent group of parents in my dd's high school that actively supply alcohol and host parties (even leaving town so their kids can throw them).

What are these parents thinking, and are others experiencing this?

[Anonymous]

They want their childrent to br popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They want their childrent to br popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And quite a few parents who just continually go out of town and leave teenagers (who have thrown parties in the past) home alone... I just don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their childrent to br popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes. Without hesitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

If you're going to do this, it is the responsibility of the parents to communicate their intention to the parents of their guests. This generally doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

If you're going to do this, it is the responsibility of the parents to communicate their intention to the parents of their guests. This generally doesn't happen.

Exactly. No parent gets to decide that it's ok to provide my kid with alcohol except me. (And for the record, no one has ever asked, despite the fact that DC has been to parties where teenagers were served alcohol.) Also, ALL the research shows that this is NOT the way to teach responsible use of alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

Me too.

What about if you find out about it after the fact? Say your kid ubers home after you've fallen asleep and is hungover as hell the next day?

I also heard a story where a mom filled a water bottle with vodka (BTW, this is a favored trick among HS kids, even at school) and packed it for her daughter to attend a slumber party. The host parents didn't find out until hours later when the bottle was half emptied and the kids were wasted. What do you do then? I'd be inclined to call the cops and have the kid who arrived with the bottle arrested and removed from my home.

[Anonymous]

Let the head of school or principal know, talk to your kids and their friends and the parent - forbid your kid from going there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

If you're going to do this, it is the responsibility of the parents to communicate their intention to the parents of their guests. This generally doesn't happen.

Exactly. No parent gets to decide that it's ok to provide my kid with alcohol except me. (And for the record, no one has ever asked, despite the fact that DC has been to parties where teenagers were served alcohol.) Also, ALL the research shows that this is NOT the way to teach responsible use of alcohol.

So, exactly what is the responsible way? Not sure there really is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

Me too.

What about if you find out about it after the fact? Say your kid ubers home after you've fallen asleep and is hungover as hell the next day?

I also heard a story where a mom filled a water bottle with vodka (BTW, this is a favored trick among HS kids, even at school) and packed it for her daughter to attend a slumber party. The host parents didn't find out until hours later when the bottle was half emptied and the kids were wasted. What do you do then? I'd be inclined to call the cops and have the kid who arrived with the bottle arrested and removed from my home.

Of course I know about the water bottle trick, and I smell my son's water bottles every so often to spot check. If a parent did this she/he would absolutely hear from me directly, and I would let the other parents know she was responsible as well. You don't get to send alcohol to MY house, and make your negligence my responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

Me too.

What about if you find out about it after the fact? Say your kid ubers home after you've fallen asleep and is hungover as hell the next day?

I also heard a story where a mom filled a water bottle with vodka (BTW, this is a favored trick among HS kids, even at school) and packed it for her daughter to attend a slumber party. The host parents didn't find out until hours later when the bottle was half emptied and the kids were wasted. What do you do then? I'd be inclined to call the cops and have the kid who arrived with the bottle arrested and removed from my home.

I hope it's just that -- a story, an urban legend. What parent would so dumb? It's one thing to choose to serve your kid (and only your kid) a bit of wine or something in your own home. Beyond assholish to pack your kid off with a disguised stash of Smirnoff.