Parents who supply alcohol for parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

If you're going to do this, it is the responsibility of the parents to communicate their intention to the parents of their guests. This generally doesn't happen.

Exactly. No parent gets to decide that it's ok to provide my kid with alcohol except me. (And for the record, no one has ever asked, despite the fact that DC has been to parties where teenagers were served alcohol.) Also, ALL the research shows that this is NOT the way to teach responsible use of alcohol.

So, exactly what is the responsible way? Not sure there really is

Modeling responsible and moderate use of alcohol and teaching respect for laws regarding alcohol.

http://www.drugfree.org/news-service/parents-teaching-teens-responsible-drinking-myth-study/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their childrent to br popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

I wouldn't even call anonymously. I would give my name and address and dare them to say something when they find out it was me. It is against the law and you have no right to serve alcohol to a minor. If a parent wants to let a their child have beer or wine or what ever in the confines of their home that is their business. No one else has the right to serve someone else under age children alcohol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

Me too.

What about if you find out about it after the fact? Say your kid ubers home after you've fallen asleep and is hungover as hell the next day?

I also heard a story where a mom filled a water bottle with vodka (BTW, this is a favored trick among HS kids, even at school) and packed it for her daughter to attend a slumber party. The host parents didn't find out until hours later when the bottle was half emptied and the kids were wasted. What do you do then? I'd be inclined to call the cops and have the kid who arrived with the bottle arrested and removed from my home.

I hope it's just that -- a story, an urban legend. What parent would so dumb? It's one thing to choose to serve your kid (and only your kid) a bit of wine or something in your own home. Beyond assholish to pack your kid off with a disguised stash of Smirnoff.

It may be an urban legend, but it also happened to a friend of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, there is a small but omnipresent group of parents in my dd's high school that actively supply alcohol and host parties (even leaving town so their kids can throw them).

What are these parents thinking, and are others experiencing this?

If you KNOW this and KNOW who they are YOU need to REPORT IT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their children to be popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Yes, I would anonymously call the non-emergency number on the parents, if I knew about an active party.

Me too.

What about if you find out about it after the fact? Say your kid ubers home after you've fallen asleep and is hungover as hell the next day?

I also heard a story where a mom filled a water bottle with vodka (BTW, this is a favored trick among HS kids, even at school) and packed it for her daughter to attend a slumber party. The host parents didn't find out until hours later when the bottle was half emptied and the kids were wasted. What do you do then? I'd be inclined to call the cops and have the kid who arrived with the bottle arrested and removed from my home.

Of course I know about the water bottle trick, and I smell my son's water bottles every so often to spot check. If a parent did this she/he would absolutely hear from me directly, and I would let the other parents know she was responsible as well. You don't get to send alcohol to MY house, and make your negligence my responsibility.

If I found out after the fact I would still call the police. If nothing else child protective services would be making a visit to that parent and asking them some frank questions about how they raising their children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want their childrent to br popular and think this is a smart way to go about it.

How do you confront this? Shaming and shunning? Call the cops on them? Call the cops on their kid?

Call the cops. It's a safety issue that takes priority over any parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, there is a small but omnipresent group of parents in my dd's high school that actively supply alcohol and host parties (even leaving town so their kids can throw them).

What are these parents thinking, and are others experiencing this?

If you KNOW this and KNOW who they are YOU need to REPORT IT.

I know this. I don't know precisely who they are. I don't know to whom to report it.

My kid is an 8th grader. I'm being briefed by a high school parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

If you're going to do this, it is the responsibility of the parents to communicate their intention to the parents of their guests. This generally doesn't happen.

Exactly. No parent gets to decide that it's ok to provide my kid with alcohol except me. (And for the record, no one has ever asked, despite the fact that DC has been to parties where teenagers were served alcohol.) Also, ALL the research shows that this is NOT the way to teach responsible use of alcohol.

So, exactly what is the responsible way? Not sure there really is

Modeling responsible and moderate use of alcohol and teaching respect for laws regarding alcohol.

http://www.drugfree.org/news-service/parents-teaching-teens-responsible-drinking-myth-study/

Exactly

[Anonymous]

It's illegal to provide alcohol to minors. My husband is a law enforcement officer. He has to report if he hears of any underage drinking going on, whether supervised or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

Well, it may be illegal but I'm sure glad that parents allowed this kind of drinking when I was in high school. If I had gone to college with no idea of how much alcohol I could handle I would have been in a lot of trouble, and danger.

[Anonymous]

Kids don't need to drink to get high e.g. Molly, xanax and pain pills ... even vaping marijuana.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving town is irresponsible, but teaching your kids how to handle alcohol is not.

I will always be grateful to my friend's parents who allowed our friend group to come over to their house and drink. No one got pregnant, but we all learned our limit and none of us had problems with alchohol in college (ie alcohol induced date rape, driving while drinking, etc...) I would have easily been victimized if I had my first drinking experiences as a frehman in college. But, the kids need to be supervised all at times.

Well, it may be illegal but I'm sure glad that parents allowed this kind of drinking when I was in high school. If I had gone to college with no idea of how much alcohol I could handle I would have been in a lot of trouble, and danger.

Yes, I drank before I was legal, too. But I did so with my parents, not drinking without an adult present and monitoring and not without my parents consent.

If you want to prep your child, then the summer before college, you can teach your child to drink at home. That's you as a parent making the decision to teach your child how to drink. Not some parent you've never met who allows their child to host a party, which your child attends, and leaving the kids to learn to drink without you knowing about it and without parents monitoring the kids. I know of a child who was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning from one of those parties because they kids don't know how to drink responsibly and there was no one there to teach them. All they did was leave the kids with alcohol and a bunch of other kids who goaded each other into drinking more, not responsibly.

You only have the right to make choices for your children, not anyone else's children. The other parents have to decide how to handle it, but if you host a party with minors and provide alcohol without letting the other parents know, you deserve whatever book that the law chooses to throw at you.

[Anonymous]

Parents who supply alcohol to minors are losers.

[Anonymous]

Call the police each and every time. It WILL save lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Call the police each and every time. It WILL save lives.

PP again - I'm French and intend to introduce my children to responsible drinking just like most French families, without waiting for the legal drinking age. But this will be in the privacy of my own home, without any guests.