Do you overextend yourself financially for your kids? (interview request)

[Anonymous]

Hi, I am working on a story for Washingtonian magazine about the insane cost of raising kids in the DMV and wonder if any of you might be willing to talk with me about this perennially anxiety-inducing topic.
Remember that much-discussed Atlantic article over the summer, "The Secret Shame of Middle-Class Americans?" I'm interested in doing a DC child-rearing version of this story, writing about parents who overextend themselves financially for their kids, and the extraordinary amount of money it can take here to feel like you're doing right by your child. Do you know anyone who might fall into this category -- and, even better, be open to talking about it? If you're game, please leave me a message at [phone] and I will get back to you. Oh, and -- duh -- my name is Laura Moser. TIA!

[Anonymous]

What a shit show extremist disguised as normal parenting story this will be.

[Anonymous]

What does this mean? Overextend by buying in a "good" school district they can't afford? Or spending too much on karate lessons or something?

[Anonymous]

You were writing and had the chance to edit your message, so why the "duh -- my name is..." at the end? Is it more folksy?

[Anonymous]

Hi, Laura here, forgive the folksiness. I don't have an agenda or thesis yet; I am just trying to talk to as many parents as possible. And I suppose I mean more buying in a stretch school district (or choosing to send kids to private school when you can't quite afford it) than paying for karate classes, though it could be anything, really. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

You could write your story just by using the search function here.

[Anonymous]

What does overextend mean? Is there a rule that no more than 10% should go towards raising children? I would be interested in a formula. We all know about how much of a mortgage can we realistically afford or get a loan for but kids? We are at private with financial aid. Is that overextending?

[Anonymous]

Anyone follow that thread where that woman was complaining about how she can't afford preschool... but she has 3 kids under the age of 4? Not a choice I would make myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does overextend mean? Is there a rule that no more than 10% should go towards raising children? I would be interested in a formula. We all know about how much of a mortgage can we realistically afford or get a loan for but kids? We are at private with financial aid. Is that overextending?

I'm not going to volunteer to be interviewed but I consider myself overextended.
We have a couple tween kids. Our income is stagnant over the past decade. We struggle to keep up the mortgage, medical and other bills every month. Essentially no savings. No college fund. No retirement contributions for six years. We were fine financially before kids but our costs have almost doubled (crappy little house instead of one bedroom apartment, about $1200/month for health insurance and medical costs, decent groceries, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does overextend mean? Is there a rule that no more than 10% should go towards raising children? I would be interested in a formula. We all know about how much of a mortgage can we realistically afford or get a loan for but kids? We are at private with financial aid. Is that overextending?

I'm not going to volunteer to be interviewed but I consider myself overextended.
We have a couple tween kids. Our income is stagnant over the past decade. We struggle to keep up the mortgage, medical and other bills every month. Essentially no savings. No college fund. No retirement contributions for six years. We were fine financially before kids but our costs have almost doubled (crappy little house instead of one bedroom apartment, about $1200/month for health insurance and medical costs, decent groceries, etc.)

Is this what she means? How is this a story except to you guys? I mean, I hope things improve for you but it doesn't sound like interesting reading to a stranger. Doesn't it have to be something like falling into debt due to spending thousands of dollars for a travel team (or something else most people would consider extravagant or not necessary)? Otherwise, it just sounds like most of America!

[Anonymous]

We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, Laura, don't start with an anecdotal lede cribbed from the DCUM Money and Finances forum. People don't tell the truth here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

Public schools aren't great anymore. You're chasing a lie.

[Anonymous]

Laura, you should have just created an account and left your contact information, and not used the term DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

Public schools aren't great anymore. You're chasing a lie.

And what's great? Private schools?