Do you overextend yourself financially for your kids? (interview request)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does overextend mean? Is there a rule that no more than 10% should go towards raising children? I would be interested in a formula. We all know about how much of a mortgage can we realistically afford or get a loan for but kids? We are at private with financial aid. Is that overextending?

I'm not going to volunteer to be interviewed but I consider myself overextended.
We have a couple tween kids. Our income is stagnant over the past decade. We struggle to keep up the mortgage, medical and other bills every month. Essentially no savings. No college fund. No retirement contributions for six years. We were fine financially before kids but our costs have almost doubled (crappy little house instead of one bedroom apartment, about $1200/month for health insurance and medical costs, decent groceries, etc.)

Similar circumstances here too. Not sure if I want to talk on the record about some of our choices-crazy amount of money for ballet, soccer, school related travel, it never ends.
College is looming, not sure what we will do.
We do have a ton of equity in our house that really needs a renovation.

[Anonymous]

Hi Laura!

- Your CHCPS friend with the runner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

Public schools aren't great anymore. You're chasing a lie.

If public schools are not good, then what? I hear that there are only a handful of good privates and the rest are just are just expensive schools for spoiled rich kids that aren't smart enough to be accepted into the top privates with solid interaction. Thoughts please?

[Anonymous]

She is looking more for someone who will admit to racking up cc debt for Larlo's fencing classes or to buy all organic food. Something entertaining for the masses to smirk about.

Remember that Bethesda magazine articles out the supermom of 4 kids superlawyer who cane across as just awful? Like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

Public schools aren't great anymore. You're chasing a lie.

If public schools are not good, then what? I hear that there are only a handful of good privates and the rest are just are just expensive schools for spoiled rich kids that aren't smart enough to be accepted into the top privates with solid interaction. Thoughts please?

You heard wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

Public schools aren't great anymore. You're chasing a lie.

If public schools are not good, then what? I hear that there are only a handful of good privates and the rest are just are just expensive schools for spoiled rich kids that aren't smart enough to be accepted into the top privates with solid interaction. Thoughts please?

You heard wrong.

You're so insightful. So private schools and public schools are both equally terrible. Guess I'll have to keep my kids at home and do chemistry class with essential oils.

[Anonymous]

I mean, I think it depends on what you are looking for. We are definitely overextended financially in order to send DS to a private school for children with learning differences, but not for random fencing lessons, karate etc.

[Anonymous]

How about you talk to me? We DIDN'T overextend ourselves even though we could have. We're a high income family living in a decidedly lower/middle class neighborhood, using our local public school (GS4), in a 1600 square foot house, and we're happy people with successful kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're going to take on a $750k mortgage just to get into a good school district.

It's insane. We would've lived in our lovely S. Arlington townhouse forever, but kids change things.

But I don't want the fact that I'm buying a million dollar house just for my kids to have great public schools to be attached to my name forever on the internet.

+1. I make under 100k base salary in live in one of the poorest areas in the region. I pay for private school even though it's meant working insane hours to do so. No way would I want to divulge this publicly.

[Anonymous]

If you live in this area, you're paying too much for housing whether or not you have kids.

I consider what I spend on my children's education and diet an investment. They don't wear expensive clothing or have a lot of crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is looking more for someone who will admit to racking up cc debt for Larlo's fencing classes or to buy all organic food. Something entertaining for the masses to smirk about.

Remember that Bethesda magazine articles out the supermom of 4 kids superlawyer who cane across as just awful? Like that.

We did rec center fencing and it was impressive enough for colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about you talk to me? We DIDN'T overextend ourselves even though we could have. We're a high income family living in a decidedly lower/middle class neighborhood, using our local public school (GS4), in a 1600 square foot house, and we're happy people with successful kids.

I have to agree. I know this isn't the point the journalist is trying to make, but the cost of living is not extraordinary in this area if you're not afraid of average schools and 1500 square foot houses. People choose to overextend themselves out of their anxiety that they and their children won't be "good enough" otherwise. I actually think we have already reached peak "overextension" and people are starting to act more reasonable again, not sacrificing financial and mental health to chase perfect houses and schools and children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about you talk to me? We DIDN'T overextend ourselves even though we could have. We're a high income family living in a decidedly lower/middle class neighborhood, using our local public school (GS4), in a 1600 square foot house, and we're happy people with successful kids.

Same.

[Anonymous]

If being overextended means being extremely frugal so that we can spend on the kids, then yes, count us in!