What really helped your child with aggression?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My son has adhd and delays. Preschool was a nightmare last year and he is doing pep this year - he's 4.5. His aggression is usually from pure impulsivity or when he grabs something which he does often. We are doing aba this summer and it is great when she is there. It's a mess still socially when she is not. He reverts to grabbing, scaring/yelling if not hitting, and he will hit/push. I remove him from the situation every time. Medication is on the horizon. If anyone else had this issue, what helped? I will say he is much better since he hit 4.5. It used to be just constant aggression with his sister and less so now. The grabbing has not really abated. It's kind of funny because he will ask - hound I should say - like ten times for the toy politely but when the other kid justifiably doesn't want to just hand the thing over, he finally will grab. So, progress? Sigh. |
Anonymous
| Oh - we do OT and speech a few times a week, and Tae Kwon do - which is great and has really helped - once a week. And swimming a few times a week. Man, we are trying. |
Anonymous
| The only thing that really helped was medication and he still has some bad moments. |
Anonymous
| So it helped with the grabbing/pushing? I can tell it's pure impulsivity. |
Anonymous
| We found that a better school environment made a huge difference, and he behaves better there than at home. When you see him on playdates, he is likely also in a new situation that might be making him stressed/anxious (plus your hovering, while necessary, may also make him more stressed). In the PEP preschool hopefully he will have more structure and attentive (yet emotionally removed!) care, and you may very well find that his aggression is very reduced. My son did very well in a setting where they both kept a close eye on him, had a relaxed and fun structure, and gave him tons of positive attention. Also, if he is doing more grabbing and yelling, and less hitting, that's a big improvement! |
Anonymous
My son was in PEP and dx with ADHD at 5. We started medication at 5 which helped with the impulsivity. At 6 we added zoloft which helped with the anger. Now the that the anger and impulsivity are more under control, his level of frustration has decreased, his tolerance for things outside his control has increased, and the medication allows him to access the behavior tools we teach him such as verbalizing your frustration or walking away from a situation. It's been a long road to get here. Good luck on the journey. |
Anonymous
|
Reward charts helped us with aggression.
We use a similar system now for verbal respect- when kids eventually stop hitting- the verbal abuse can ramp up. It's part of the emotional overreaction and impulse control issues. Verbal and physical aggression can be habit forming as the "go to" response to frustration and anxiety- while medication will probably help- you want to have a behavior system to teach better responses - Kazdin type reward systems work great. Aggression is something that we saw improve dramatically with age. |
Anonymous
| Thanks all. I'm hoping pep will help. I'm so tired of being so on edge every time he encounters another kid. My aba therapist is so awesome at getting him to calmly interact. I'm not sure how to replicate it ha. |
Anonymous
| Only think that helped was an ssri. The ADHD meds helped with other issues, but the ssri cut down on the aggression. |
Anonymous
10:09 here. PEP helps a lot. DS is now 6. I still have anxiety when he encounters another kid. When there's screaming, I automatically assume that it's either my kid screaming or my kid did something to cause the screaming. I'm now down to about 60:40 where 60% of the time my kid isn't even involved and is actually somewhere else playing nicely. I don't know when the anxiety goes away. I'm hoping soon. |
Anonymous
I hear you. I actually think I make things worse because i just jump in every time assuming g something is about to go wrong |
Anonymous
How's he doing in school? And did you try any other preschool before pep? I have ptsd from preschool. |
Anonymous
This is my post from 3 years ago. Update is at the end. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/337416.page |
Anonymous
| Thank you, PP! Op here. I am worried because of the delays, also. I am not sure how much they contribute to aggression. His speech is in low average. He is still in speech. He should certainly be able to express himself in other ways and does much of the time. He just reverts to aggression in social situations. |
Anonymous
| For us, adhd meds for impulsivity and abilify for aggression. |