What really helped your child with aggression?

[Anonymous]

The ADHD meds probably helped the most. But I think we also saw benefits from some of the cognitive behavioral stuff -- books like How to Take the Grrr Out of Anger; Personal Space Camp; etc. We talked through other ways to deal with frustration, ways tp recognize how others are feeling, etc. There's sort of a sweet spot when they can learn this stuff from books, I think -- too early, and they just don't really have the insight, and too late, and they're like "This is obvious and dumb."

One big take-away that I have is that for kids like this, the golden rule may not work. You can't ask them to treat others as they would want to be treated, because the truth is that their own tolerance for physical contact and other things is just different than other kids. You have to teach them that different people like different things (some kids like to wrestle, some don't; just like some kids like cheeseburgers and some don't) and so they need to pay attention to clues to figure out what other kids might like or not like.

It' still a challenge.

[Anonymous]

Similar to 10:09, my DD was also in PEP for last year of preschool (and we also switched preschools from one threatening to kick her out to one that would work with us). PEP and IEP with classroom supports continuing through K have almost eliminated aggression in classroom, but still experiencing at home. DX with ADHD combined and anxiety at 6. Started Zoloft and that has helped aggression at home. Private CBT individual and group therapy will continue to play a role, now that the aggression has calmed down.

[Anonymous]

Prozac.

[Anonymous]

Behavioral coaching for parents, Individual therapy for child once 8, adhd meds starting at 9.

From infancy - really good bedtime ritual, low or zero screentime, lots of outdoor play and when old enough for team sports (needed to try a few to find those that fit), realizing that when he is acting out it frequently comes from a place of feeling ignored. Upping family time with positive parental engagement really always helps.

On books - One thing I did was buy a lot of emotional intelligence age appropriate books for the class. Figured my kid might look at it their or another kid might model learning the new skill.

[Anonymous]

Kapvay

[Anonymous]

Natural Calm during brief stretches of increased agitation.

[Anonymous]

Language helped, meaning that as my ADHD developed stronger expressive language skills and as he developed a better understanding of social pragmatic language, his "agression" and "impulsivity" got better.

Lots of kids with ADHD also have language deficits. Have you done a speech and language assessment? You might be surprised; I was! Speech therapy helped. Clueing family members in to the slow processing and word-finding issues also helped, so he could have enough time tk express his needs verbally instead of grabbing or pushing out of frustration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ADHD meds probably helped the most. But I think we also saw benefits from some of the cognitive behavioral stuff -- books like How to Take the Grrr Out of Anger; Personal Space Camp; etc. We talked through other ways to deal with frustration, ways tp recognize how others are feeling, etc. There's sort of a sweet spot when they can learn this stuff from books, I think -- too early, and they just don't really have the insight, and too late, and they're like "This is obvious and dumb."

One big take-away that I have is that for kids like this, the golden rule may not work. You can't ask them to treat others as they would want to be treated, because the truth is that their own tolerance for physical contact and other things is just different than other kids. You have to teach them that different people like different things (some kids like to wrestle, some don't; just like some kids like cheeseburgers and some don't) and so they need to pay attention to clues to figure out what other kids might like or not like.

It' still a challenge.

What age did you find was ideal for the books? We started books with DS at 3, but now at 4 he seems much more able to understand and implement the messages.

[Anonymous]

Ritalin and risperdone

[Anonymous]

I have ADHD, and when my son was diagnosed with it at age 6, I chose not to medicate. Instead, I have taught him self-discipline. Here's an example of how far he's come: He's now 11, and yesterday, another boy punched him and he defended himself. After the fight, he told us " The only reason I didn't hit him in the face is because he has glasses, and glasses are expensive. I didn't want his mom and dad to have to pay for a new pair." The fact that he can stop in the middle of a fight and think about the cost of a pair of glasses shows me that I have succeeded in teaching him to control his impulsive behavior. I am proud of him. He'll go far in life. ADHD is not a bad thing. I've never minded having it. It's always come in handy for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD, and when my son was diagnosed with it at age 6, I chose not to medicate. Instead, I have taught him self-discipline. Here's an example of how far he's come: He's now 11, and yesterday, another boy punched him and he defended himself. After the fight, he told us " The only reason I didn't hit him in the face is because he has glasses, and glasses are expensive. I didn't want his mom and dad to have to pay for a new pair." The fact that he can stop in the middle of a fight and think about the cost of a pair of glasses shows me that I have succeeded in teaching him to control his impulsive behavior. I am proud of him. He'll go far in life. ADHD is not a bad thing. I've never minded having it. It's always come in handy for me.

How did you teach him discipline?