Life after getting out of a verbally abusive relationship ?

[Anonymous]

Please share your stories. We have a beautiful 7 month old baby together . Dh gets angry over the smallest things. He has started name calling. He's called me dirty, stupid bit** and lots of other things. He screams in front of our baby. I know I need to get out soon but I'm so scared! I'm only 28 and we got married at 23. Dh is 33 now. It's been 15 months since we have had sex. Please be gentle with me. I need motivation to get out.

[Anonymous]

So worth it. Wish I had gotten out 10 years ago. I was too scared.

[Anonymous]

You and your baby deserve more! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Was he always like this or is it just since the baby was born? Do you think he's unhappy and will want out? Have you tried counseling? Do you have a safe place you and baby can go? If you want to leave, now is going to be easier than later. Each day that goes by is another day of unnecessary happiness and assault on your self-esteem. The best thing for your baby is a healthy home environment. Confide in whomever you're close to and let them help you. Don't let shame or fear keep you silent and trapped.

[Anonymous]

Read Patricia Evan's "The Verbally Abusive Relationship"

[Anonymous]

Gather your resources and disappear. Start planning your exit right now.

You can always get a police officer to escort you out. If DH tries anything, a report will be taken.

[Anonymous]

Life after divorce has been great for me! I've not remarried but I'm in a fulfilling relationship right now. Definitely get yourself into therapy and make an exit plan. You can do this! Don't let your fear paralyze you.

[Anonymous]

Do you have financial independence to get out OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have financial independence to get out OP?

Not really. I have a friend who is also a single mom. She says I can stay with her for the next year and provide childcare for both of our sons. I also freelance part time. I live in Georgia and it's much more affordable to live here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was he always like this or is it just since the baby was born? Do you think he's unhappy and will want out? Have you tried counseling? Do you have a safe place you and baby can go? If you want to leave, now is going to be easier than later. Each day that goes by is another day of unnecessary happiness and assault on your self-esteem. The best thing for your baby is a healthy home environment. Confide in whomever you're close to and let them help you. Don't let shame or fear keep you silent and trapped.

The anger problems got worse after I got pregnant . We're also from very different backgrounds. My husband is from a Muslim background and he's religious. A religious guy who treats his wife bad. Ha !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was he always like this or is it just since the baby was born? Do you think he's unhappy and will want out? Have you tried counseling? Do you have a safe place you and baby can go? If you want to leave, now is going to be easier than later. Each day that goes by is another day of unnecessary happiness and assault on your self-esteem. The best thing for your baby is a healthy home environment. Confide in whomever you're close to and let them help you. Don't let shame or fear keep you silent and trapped.

The anger problems got worse after I got pregnant . We're also from very different backgrounds. My husband is from a Muslim background and he's religious. A religious guy who treats his wife bad. Ha !

So you were aware of his anger problems and his culture before you married him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was he always like this or is it just since the baby was born? Do you think he's unhappy and will want out? Have you tried counseling? Do you have a safe place you and baby can go? If you want to leave, now is going to be easier than later. Each day that goes by is another day of unnecessary happiness and assault on your self-esteem. The best thing for your baby is a healthy home environment. Confide in whomever you're close to and let them help you. Don't let shame or fear keep you silent and trapped.

The anger problems got worse after I got pregnant . We're also from very different backgrounds. My husband is from a Muslim background and he's religious. A religious guy who treats his wife bad. Ha !

So you were aware of his anger problems and his culture before you married him?

No not at all. We were married 5 years before I had my son.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing. Get some counseling before it is too late.

[Anonymous]

Withholding sex for over a year would make any man angry.

[Anonymous]

I lived with my XH and my baby son for almost a year of screaming and name calling and him shrieking at me and our baby wailing and crying.

I went to this site: http://www.womenslaw.org/. I phoned their hotline three times. It was very helpful. I ended up getting a restraining order with one of their referrals. It was very hard, but every night my son and I come home to a small apartment that is q.u.i.e.t. and safe. Every day I am thankful that I got out.

I think you can do it to, but you need to make a plan and be as rational as possible, by not letting your fears take over. You and your child deserve a safe and happy home and you can do this.