Brothers GF is a major pain

[Anonymous]

I just got back from a family vacation and it was more stressful than it needed to be. My brothers long term GF has this annoying habit of asking you to watch her kids (brother is not the father) for an hour and she shows up 4-6 hours later. I was taking care of my nephews ages 11 & 16 (their parents could not make the trip). We were playing on the beach and she asks me if I could watch her kids while she went to the store. I told her no and she acted offended. She pressed for a why and I said you are notorious for leaving your kids and not showing up until hours later. I cannot give your kids the supervision they need. My nephews are my responsibility. You need to watch your own kids. I was very blunt and to the point. She was furious. She called my brother and started ranting. My brother then called me and told me I needed to apologize. I told him I would do no such thing. She needs to apologize for her inconsiderate behavior and I offered to give examples of her bad behavior.

Then brothers GF goes and complains to my parents. They respond by asking her why can't she take her kids to the store? lol She gets even madder. At the end of the day the family was glad that I called her out on her past inconsiderate behavior. Then my brother gets back and confronts me in person. Our dad steps in and tells him it would probably be best in the future for his GF not to ask anyone but him to babysit and not to bring her on family vacations for a while. This was a week ago and none of us have heard from him since. I am relieved. End of vent.

[Anonymous]

Never vacation with extended family.

[Anonymous]

Good for you! It's awesome to hear/read about people sticking up for themselves when users like the GF try to get their way.

[Anonymous]

Not that I think you need to babysit them, but why do you need to watch your 11 & 16 year old nephews?

I feel your pain, my BIL/SIL dumped our nephew on us without even asking the last time we did a family trip. And didn't return for hours. He was only 18 months old at the time too, so it's not like we had a choice when we realized they were just gone!

[Anonymous]

I really thought this would go another way. I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself, and your parents for sticking up for you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have great In-Laws. If she were to exchange watching the kids, that would be reasonable but dump them on you for hours. Why couldn't your brother watch them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not that I think you need to babysit them, but why do you need to watch your 11 & 16 year old nephews?

I feel your pain, my BIL/SIL dumped our nephew on us without even asking the last time we did a family trip. And didn't return for hours. He was only 18 months old at the time too, so it's not like we had a choice when we realized they were just gone!

I'd watch an 11 yo pretty closely at the beach, too, even with lifeguards. The 16 yo maybe not so much. But, it's ocean -- I watched three people get pulled out by riptides in Ocean City last month and a couple were adults.

[Anonymous]

But here's what: you guys wrote her a permission slip for bad behavior for a long time. Why would she change her ways if you always went along with it?

All this might have been avoided if you found your balls the first or second time this happen. You had a part in creating this bad dynamic. Why didn't you speak up sooner?

Also, this might have worked: "Sally, I can watch them for an hour but really: one hour. Please make sure you are back by 4."

[Anonymous]

OP here,

The 16 year old does not need to be watched but the 11 year old does need some supervision especially on the beach. We were sharing a room so I was the one seeing to their needs since their parents could not make the trip due to work. They are good kids and mind most of the time.

Everyone is done with the GF and her entitlement issues except for my brother. She does not even have custody of her kids so you would think she would want to maximize her time with them during her visitations.

[Anonymous]

Just curious - how old are her kids?

[Anonymous]

I think there around 7 & 9.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain OP. My sister and BIL once left my niece with us while they went to buy a car. We figured 6 hours (knowing BIL is super slow at doing anything). Well, they showed up 16 hours later. I was so pissed. We tried to reach them on their cell phones and they did not answer. We were on the phone with the police (about to call CPS as well) when they finally showed up. That was YEARS ago and I have not watched niece since then. All it took was getting burned bad once.

[Anonymous]

Good for you. Tell your brother there is nothing more to discuss. He will cool off. I hate people like the GF. Her behavior is so rude.

[Anonymous]

Woot for your parents taking "your" side. And for you for drawing the line in the literal sand!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But here's what: you guys wrote her a permission slip for bad behavior for a long time. Why would she change her ways if you always went along with it?

All this might have been avoided if you found your balls the first or second time this happen. You had a part in creating this bad dynamic. Why didn't you speak up sooner?

Also, this might have worked: "Sally, I can watch them for an hour but really: one hour. Please make sure you are back by 4."

Not OP but this line doesn't work with people like her. I was burned the same way by IL's several times in a row. One hour turned into 6 hours every single time. After that, I declined any invitation to babysit.