Crowdsourcing my decision whether to have another baby...please weigh in!

[Anonymous]

I'll be 37 in February. Currently have a 16yr old daughter, 10 yr old stepdaughter, and 3 yr old son. No family nearby. DH and I both work F/T but he mostly works from home and I work from home one day a week.

I keep thinking that in two years my oldest will be out of the house, we only have my stepdaughter half the time, and so for the next 13+yrs after that it'll mostly just be my DH, son and I. I love kids and babies and having a full house. In hindsight, I really wish I'd just gotten pregnant right after our last, but now it is what it is. But, even if I get pregnant now, there will be an almost 4 yr age gap between the baby and my youngest. Is it kind of pointless to start again? Or will I regret it if I don't.

[Anonymous]

Go for it!

[Anonymous]

I don't understand this obsession with gaps to be honest. Do you want another child or not? If yes then do it and get over your imaginary perfect gap idea.

[Anonymous]

Do you have enough $ for 4 college educations?

[Anonymous]

The details don't matter. Do you want to add another child to your family? Does your DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this obsession with gaps to be honest. Do you want another child or not? If yes then do it and get over your imaginary perfect gap idea.

As you can tell by my original post and gaps between children, I'm normally not bothered my gaps, but in this instance some of my intention on having another one would be to have another sibling in the house for my toddler. I just wonder when they're say, 8 and 4 if it would have been pointless to have another anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have enough $ for 4 college educations?

Because the first three are spaced out so far, yes.

[Anonymous]

What's holding you back from having the 4th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this obsession with gaps to be honest. Do you want another child or not? If yes then do it and get over your imaginary perfect gap idea.

As you can tell by my original post and gaps between children, I'm normally not bothered my gaps, but in this instance some of my intention on having another one would be to have another sibling in the house for my toddler. I just wonder when they're say, 8 and 4 if it would have been pointless to have another anyway.

My 8 and 4.5 year old boys are absolute best friends! Their devotion to each other is lovely. I cannot imagine either of them not having the other.

[Anonymous]

Omg please no. Stop contributing to overpopulation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this obsession with gaps to be honest. Do you want another child or not? If yes then do it and get over your imaginary perfect gap idea.

As you can tell by my original post and gaps between children, I'm normally not bothered my gaps, but in this instance some of my intention on having another one would be to have another sibling in the house for my toddler. I just wonder when they're say, 8 and 4 if it would have been pointless to have another anyway.

so having a sibling who is 4 years older is like having no sibling at all? honestly i don't understand this logic at all.

[Anonymous]

My brother and I are 4.5 years apart, and we're very close. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

No. You don't deal with your kids growing and leaving by constantly pumping out replacement babies. At a certain point, you're done and you focus on the family you have.

[Anonymous]

On gaps: I'm pregnant and my son will be almost 4 when the baby is born. It took us longer to conceive than we thought it would, but we certainly didn't give up because the gap possibility kept getting larger. We originally planned for 2.5-3 years apart. Now that I'm pregnant, I am thrilled about the 4 year gap. I can't wait to see my son as a big brother. I think he will be understanding and helpful and it'll be so much easier than if we'd had them closer together. There are cons, of course, since they may not really be playmates. But it is what it is and there are certainly positives.

[Anonymous]

Do you imagine a baby? Or do you imagine a fully functional kid adding to your whole family group? (Or both I guess).

If you imagine another little dude or gal grown and hanging out with your family, yes.

If you imagine the sweet little newborn, then no don't do it. Just offer to hold a friend's baby and take it all in. Then hand the baby back.