Things that are unintentional status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only wearing white in season[i][b]
Knowing how to sail
Having gone away to summer camp
Not asking people what they "do" (almost everyone in DC fails at this)

Oh no to this one (underlined). Nobody, no matter what their class, should wear white out of season. End of story.

That rule doesn't apply anymore. Even Emily Post said so.

http://www.vogue.com/fashion/most-wanted/how-to-wear-white-after-labor-day/

http://fashionista.com/2012/09/a-quick-guide-to-wearing-white-after-labor-day#awesm=~oD1OZiwpE3xaxL

http://www.luckymag.com/style/2013/09/white-after-labor-day

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/mens-fashion/white-after-labor-day-090313

The great unwashed have spoken!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot wait to donate my POS Saab to charity. Who knew that eyesore was a good thing ....

I was thinking about replacing our well running Saab with a Honda......maybe I should hold on to the Saab after all...

Yes, park it in the driveway and as DCUMers drive past we'll give you that knowing nod.

Thank you! Maybe we should have DCUM bumper sticker so that non-Saab owners can receive the knowing nod also

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only wearing white in season[i][b]
Knowing how to sail
Having gone away to summer camp
Not asking people what they "do" (almost everyone in DC fails at this)

Oh no to this one (underlined). Nobody, no matter what their class, should wear white out of season. End of story.

That rule doesn't apply anymore. Even Emily Post said so.

http://www.vogue.com/fashion/most-wanted/how-to-wear-white-after-labor-day/

http://fashionista.com/2012/09/a-quick-guide-to-wearing-white-after-labor-day#awesm=~oD1OZiwpE3xaxL

http://www.luckymag.com/style/2013/09/white-after-labor-day

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/mens-fashion/white-after-labor-day-090313

The great unwashed have spoken!

+ 1 million!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sitting down with your own personal stationary to write a nice note saying what you would like for dinner at a wedding -- now that is having too much extra time.

We did not have cards in our invitations (not EVER done in the UK) but we did not have a sit down meal so no need for people to choose their meal (I am sure lots of people will chime in to criticize, but we had two caterers and everything was delicious, I just prefer to graze and mingle instead of being stuck sitting at a table.)

What I don't get is how, you know what your dinner choices are - is that included in the invitation - that is weird - please join us and let us know if you like chicken or fish?

They came in the invitations I received while living in the UK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I'm the southern PP with no reply cards. People figured it out. Not everyone knew it was an intentional omission, but everyone knew they should reply in some way (which is why reply cards are unnecessary -- who receives a wedding invitation and doesn't let the bride or groom know whether they are coming? No one).

[Anonymous]

Posts like these -

" 4-yo birthday, "No gifts but would appreciate donation to xyz charity" "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

Well, bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

Well, bless your heart.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

Well, bless your heart.

+1

Because "Bless your heart" can mean a lot of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

Well, bless your heart.

+1

Because "Bless your heart" can mean a lot of things.

No, it cant and you are clearly too stupid to get that and to know that a card instructing one to check a FOOD choice in a formal wedding invitation is actually okay. bwahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

No, you are a perfect candidate for a "bless your heart."

Additionally, most old school southerners don't have multi-course sit down dinner receptions (nor do they use the phrase "surf and turf").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't make it 3 pages into this thread. It was cerebral vomit.

Question: "what things that are unintentional status symbols"
Answer: "stay at home moms"
Answer: "expensive strollers"
Answer: "having a nanny"
Answer: "ivy league pedigree"

ALL OF THOSE ARE OVERT, INTENTIONAL AND NOT ALL ARE STATUS SYMBOLS!

In fact, the whole premise is bust, if it's considered a status symbol, it can't be 'unintentional.'

There are obscure status symbols that are only recognizable to those in the know...but that is very different.

Overt (crudely so) status symbol: trying to establish your intellectual superiority with inflamatory phrases like "cerebral vomit."

Inadvertent status symbol: revealing your confidence in, and consequent lack of need to flaunt, your intellectual abilities by correcting other posters' misuse of the word "inadvertent" in a kind and even humorous way. Sends the message that your game isn't about being "right" and winning, rather you care about accuracy. Now that sort of quiet confidence is impressive, whether you intended it or not.

Overt status symbol that you adopt/purchase/use for the sole sake of demonstrating status: examples-- Louis Vuitton purse, Mercedes SUV, huge McMansion house, expensive stroller

Inadvertent status symbol: things that you do for reasons that entirely separate from conveying class or status, but which convey class or status anyway. People don't hire a nanny as a status symbol or stay at home with the kids just as a status symbol. They don those things because they have kids to take care of and are trying to find what will best for their family. Their choices reflect their status, but their choices are not status driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

.


There, that is a perfect one! Sending out wedding invitations with no reply cards! Very very old school and an unintentional status symbol. Only those with enough knowledge will even get this. What is really sad though is people who don't even know how to reply to such an invitation.

Nah it's just the culture changing and evolving over time.

Ha...we did not have reply cards (my mother and grandmother's preference) and a lot of our guests were confused.

Me too and only guests on DH's side were "confused." Kind of funny to me but not to my mom.

I have to say, most of the wedding invitations I received from college friends did not have reply cards. I am in my early 40s so it's not that "old school". I know many people who think reply cards are tacky, even the plain blank ones. But I also did have friends and even relatives who sent these. They chose to largely because they were worried too many people these days dont know how to respond to a formal invitation without a reply card.

I have only ever seen one of the style reply card where you could chose your dinner. Had never even heard of such a thing. That was very humorous to me.

Like many other things on this thread, it is simply one more "tell" related to social class.

Bless your heart.

+1

You, the "Bless Your Heart" Poster and the "+1" poster are seriously clueless and wierd. The term "Bless Your Heart" is a Southern one used for people thast are socially inept or inferior. Anyone who uses a reply card with a meal choice on it is from a socially inept or inferior background because this is just flat out tacky and low class. If you are so unfortunate as to have a caterer who requires it, get a new caterer and, really, atv a formal sit-down multi-course wedding, you dont serve different main courses, just one with, if you like surf and turf but there is no selection process. You eat wjhat is served or you dont eat it. That is the choice and that is how it is done by proper folk who may say "Bless Your Heart" IRL even if they sound ridiculous and silly.

sure.