Does your fert doc discuss how meds you take can affect child's sexual/gender identity?

[Anonymous]

I have been trying to figure out if the meds all the older moms in my kids class took to get and/or stay pregnant had an effect on their child's sexuality. It seems like almost all the kids are gay or bi or trans. Really- like at least 80% at an area private school. I know each child and each family, so I am not exaggerating. If you are taking meds, does your doctor talk to you about the possible effects that lots of hormones could have on the fetus?

[Anonymous]

This seems really trollish to me, but I'll bite a little : You realize that sexuality does and has always existed on a bell curve, meaning that in general, MOST people are some degree of bi. Equal percentages of people would be homosexual or heterosexual.

So, to me, 20% hetero, 20% gay, and 60% lying somewhere in the middle seems perfectly reasonable.

Could also be not related to the meds - could be these "older moms" have learned in life that it's easier not to get hung up on things that don't really matter, and are letting their kids be who they are.

[Anonymous]

troll

[Anonymous]

It's almost as if older parents are richer and are more likely to be able to afford private school, and as if people with gender-nonconforming kids might seek out a specific progressive environment.

[Anonymous]

OP seems like someone who doesn't understand how fertility treatments work. Very few hormones are given for very short amounts of time and those hormones match what is naturally in a woman's system anyway. There is no data or evidence that fertility treatments have any effect on the sexual orientation or gender preference of the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's almost as if older parents are richer and are more likely to be able to afford private school, and as if people with gender-nonconforming kids might seek out a specific progressive environment.

This. The kids are there because they are LGBT. They are not LGBT because their mothers are older, which you assume means they had fertility treatments.

[Anonymous]

Because there is no known or assumed link homosexuality and fertility treatments, fertility doctors are not going to latch onto your personal illogical opinion and transmit it to their patients. Perhaps if you took the foil hat off.

[Anonymous]

I think you are substituting correlation with causation.

My husband and I are 40. We both can't remember any kid in our high school class who was gay, much less bi or trans. (We do know from Facebook that some of those kids did turn out to be gay, bi, and even one person was trans and now lives as a woman.) In contrast, DH's little sister is 17 years younger. When she was in high school, many kids were out and lots more were experimenting, even if they ultimately were heterosexual. It's not fertility drugs that changed kids. It's the culture of acceptance for sexual and gender identity that has changed and kids are reacting to it by being open about their feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's almost as if older parents are richer and are more likely to be able to afford private school, and as if people with gender-nonconforming kids might seek out a specific progressive environment.

This. The kids are there because they are LGBT. They are not LGBT because their mothers are older, which you assume means they had fertility treatments.

I agree with you that this may be so- but doctors used to recommend fertility treatment if a woman could not conceive in 5 years. Now they recommend if a woman cannot conceive in 1 year. The fertility does drop off in the 30s, so I thought it was fair to assume that- lots of women in their 30s can't conceive in one year, and their doctors are recommending the medication. Someone who starts trying at 35 might not feel she has 5 years to try, so she would be more apt to follow a doctors suggestion to start medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are substituting correlation with causation.

My husband and I are 40. We both can't remember any kid in our high school class who was gay, much less bi or trans. (We do know from Facebook that some of those kids did turn out to be gay, bi, and even one person was trans and now lives as a woman.) In contrast, DH's little sister is 17 years younger. When she was in high school, many kids were out and lots more were experimenting, even if they ultimately were heterosexual. It's not fertility drugs that changed kids. It's the culture of acceptance for sexual and gender identity that has changed and kids are reacting to it by being open about their feelings.

I am not substituting causation for correlation. I am noticing correlation and asking about causation. You are also noticing correlation, and attributing causation. Where is what you have posited proved? Its a nice hypothesis, and I am offering another hypothesis.Isn't it possible that if your only child is gay, and you are too old to have another one, you would be much more likely to be accepting and supportive.
You and the sister fit in perfectly to the age demographic. In 1975 hardly anyone was taking fertility drugs- the first "test tube" baby was barely born.
By the 1990s there were fertility clinics everywhere.
I am for acceptance. That isn't the issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because there is no known or assumed link homosexuality and fertility treatments, fertility doctors are not going to latch onto your personal illogical opinion and transmit it to their patients. Perhaps if you took the foil hat off.

Drugs given for morning sickness caused abnormalities in sexual organs of children. Drugs given for prevention of miscarriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems really trollish to me, but I'll bite a little : You realize that sexuality does and has always existed on a bell curve, meaning that in general, MOST people are some degree of bi. Equal percentages of people would be homosexual or heterosexual.

So, to me, 20% hetero, 20% gay, and 60% lying somewhere in the middle seems perfectly reasonable.

Could also be not related to the meds - could be these "older moms" have learned in life that it's easier not to get hung up on things that don't really matter, and are letting their kids be who they are.

Why are you presenting this as fact??

[Anonymous]

OP, I made a similar error in causation about 4 years ago when I began working in an affluent school with many students with LD and ASD. Nearly all the mothers were older and there were many IVF twins and at least one set of triplets in each grade. I ignorantly thought it must be the fertility treatments, including (and I am deeply ashamed of this thought now), the idea that lower quality embryos had survived that without medical intervention wouldn't have implanted or would have spontaneously aborted. Luckily, I had a friend set me straight before I embarrassed myself or hurt someone's feelings. These kids were at my school because their parents could afford both AR and a school that met their children's SN. The AR didn't cause their SN. It didn't cause the kids at your school being LGBTQ.
Going through AR is tough enough, don't freak parents out that they've saddled their kids with a more difficult row to hoe in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I made a similar error in causation about 4 years ago when I began working in an affluent school with many students with LD and ASD. Nearly all the mothers were older and there were many IVF twins and at least one set of triplets in each grade. I ignorantly thought it must be the fertility treatments, including (and I am deeply ashamed of this thought now), the idea that lower quality embryos had survived that without medical intervention wouldn't have implanted or would have spontaneously aborted. Luckily, I had a friend set me straight before I embarrassed myself or hurt someone's feelings. These kids were at my school because their parents could afford both AR and a school that met their children's SN. The AR didn't cause their SN. It didn't cause the kids at your school being LGBTQ.
Going through AR is tough enough, don't freak parents out that they've saddled their kids with a more difficult row to hoe in life.

Public school triplets born to older moms not having sex/gender issues?

[Anonymous]

I think that also some of the older, wealthier parents perceive themselves as being more attuned to this stuff and feel like they must run with it the second it presents itself.

We have a child who has expressed some confusion about his identity since he was quite small. He may actually be transgender or possibly gay, but we didn't think this was something to indulge at the age of 3 and 4. Now that he's 9, it's died down. When he hits an age of reason and has the capacity to truly internalize and understand all of this, we will support him in whatever he feels he needs to do.

What we have a problem is the idea that we have to take very seriously and run around on tenterhooks dealing with a child who insists he's a girl and prefers "girl" things, and we're supposed to completely ignore our other child who insists he's a dog. Experimentation and conflating fantasy with reality is a developmental phase.