Therapy is a scam.

[Anonymous]

I am truly starting to feel like therapy - especially for teens and families - is just a scam. A good therapist is hard enough to find for a kid, and when you think you've found one they take your money and your time and no results or progress is made, and you're still just back where you started - or worse.

[Anonymous]

I agree. Waste of time and money, nothing but bitch session, often focusing on blaming parents for everything, well, in our case that sums it up. Ended up with kid who denied any responsibility for anything and blamed everybody else for everything.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your post should be "parenting is a scam."

[Anonymous]

OP, ITA. I think there might be good and useful therapists out there but we have not found them and time and money are wasted in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Waste of time and money, nothing but bitch session, often focusing on blaming parents for everything, well, in our case that sums it up. Ended up with kid who denied any responsibility for anything and blamed everybody else for everything.

You sound like my parents. They wanted therapy to explain to me what was wrong with me and how to fix it. They were the root cause of what was wrong, but no way no how were they ever going to hear that from anyone. The adults have to change first. That's what it means to be a parent.

On the plus side, I am hyper-aware of what not to do with my own kids, starting with blaming them for bad family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Waste of time and money, nothing but bitch session, often focusing on blaming parents for everything, well, in our case that sums it up. Ended up with kid who denied any responsibility for anything and blamed everybody else for everything.

You sound like my parents. They wanted therapy to explain to me what was wrong with me and how to fix it. They were the root cause of what was wrong, but no way no how were they ever going to hear that from anyone. The adults have to change first. That's what it means to be a parent.

On the plus side, I am hyper-aware of what not to do with my own kids, starting with blaming them for bad family dynamics.

+1.

OP, of course parents are a huge part of the overall picture of any child! They are the strongest influence in their lives. I'm not saying a child doesn't have to work on their behavior- of course they do- but problems for teens don't arise from a vacuum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Waste of time and money, nothing but bitch session, often focusing on blaming parents for everything, well, in our case that sums it up. Ended up with kid who denied any responsibility for anything and blamed everybody else for everything.

You sound like my parents. They wanted therapy to explain to me what was wrong with me and how to fix it. They were the root cause of what was wrong, but no way no how were they ever going to hear that from anyone. The adults have to change first. That's what it means to be a parent.

On the plus side, I am hyper-aware of what not to do with my own kids, starting with blaming them for bad family dynamics.

You are another dumb millennial who blames parents for everything, denying their own shortcoming and failures. Holding yourself accountable for your own actions is a virtue. On top of it you have no idea of my family's situation or why my kid went to therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Waste of time and money, nothing but bitch session, often focusing on blaming parents for everything, well, in our case that sums it up. Ended up with kid who denied any responsibility for anything and blamed everybody else for everything.

You sound like my parents. They wanted therapy to explain to me what was wrong with me and how to fix it. They were the root cause of what was wrong, but no way no how were they ever going to hear that from anyone. The adults have to change first. That's what it means to be a parent.

On the plus side, I am hyper-aware of what not to do with my own kids, starting with blaming them for bad family dynamics.

+1.

OP, of course parents are a huge part of the overall picture of any child! They are the strongest influence in their lives. I'm not saying a child doesn't have to work on their behavior- of course they do- but problems for teens don't arise from a vacuum.

So you are saying a child with severe social anxiety from birth is the fault of parents? Or ADHD kids are created by parents? Parents hold a lot of influence, no doubt, but unless parents are truly insane, which some are, you are saying parents are whole to blame for their kid's actions? Teens are blameless? Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Waste of time and money, nothing but bitch session, often focusing on blaming parents for everything, well, in our case that sums it up. Ended up with kid who denied any responsibility for anything and blamed everybody else for everything.

You sound like my parents. They wanted therapy to explain to me what was wrong with me and how to fix it. They were the root cause of what was wrong, but no way no how were they ever going to hear that from anyone. The adults have to change first. That's what it means to be a parent.

On the plus side, I am hyper-aware of what not to do with my own kids, starting with blaming them for bad family dynamics.

You are another dumb millennial who blames parents for everything, denying their own shortcoming and failures. Holding yourself accountable for your own actions is a virtue. On top of it you have no idea of my family's situation or why my kid went to therapy.

I agree with the last PP.
I have been holding off on going to therapy through fear that somehow the therapist will get it all wrong and blame one of us, *whichever one*. Therapy is about learning self-awareness and understanding inner motivations and letting go of negative emotions. It's also about learning to communicate constructively so as to get what you want while still being a caring a respectful person.

[Anonymous]

I have gotten much more out of self-help books and talk radio than ever talking to a therapist. Start with Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People", teen version.

[Anonymous]

It depends, you need to try out several therapists before you decide on one. Interview them. Find out their views on parenting, how they conduct their sessions, etc. Get a feeler for them before you hire them.

[Anonymous]

Therapy saved my child's life. She was suicidal and therapy gave her the tools to overcome those feelings and thrive. She took medication for awhile which was also essential but it was therapy that helped her learn how to face and surmount the challenges of living.

[Anonymous]

an engaged grandparent, aunt, uncle or other family friend is better than any therapist for a teen. at least that's my opinion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapy saved my child's life. She was suicidal and therapy gave her the tools to overcome those feelings and thrive. She took medication for awhile which was also essential but it was therapy that helped her learn how to face and surmount the challenges of living.

what was going on that she felt this way? did you see signs? did she feel she could come to her family to talk about these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapy saved my child's life. She was suicidal and therapy gave her the tools to overcome those feelings and thrive. She took medication for awhile which was also essential but it was therapy that helped her learn how to face and surmount the challenges of living.

Well who was it then because this is what we've been trying to accomplish....?