Therapy is a scam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I guess you've also had the same experience on DCUM as I have: if you want to get ugly, vitriolic comments on your parenting, just ask for advice about a kid with behavioral health challenges on one of the general boards. I will never forget the poster who told me that public school system had no obligation to teach my "bad" kid. The Kids With Special Needs board is a welcome exception that.

I remind myself that these are folks who are lucky enough not to have a high degree of difficulty kid, and that they have. no. clue.

Luck has nothing to do with that, it is a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline from the birth of the child. A lot of self control. I breastfed my kids exclusively for almost two years each, left a great job every time to stay for a year at home with each of the child and every time had to start all over with my career. lot of time spent with kids on weekends. homemad meals every day despite that I work sometimes 50-60 hours a week. Don't tell me about luck.

I did All those same things, except stayed home for longer and guess what? I have two kids with mental health issues. They are great kids but are subject to their brain chemistry that causes OCD, panic attacks, agoraphobia and resulting behavior issues, because when you are a kid and you have all that going on, you feel very out of control. I also have kids who don't have these problems. Your kids (and mine) have obviously benefitted from good parenting but don't kid yourself into thinking that those of us who struggle somehow didn't check all the boxes. Also, if your kids haven't been through adolescence yet, I wouldn't count out mental health issues arising, because that is often when they present.

Also [phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I guess you've also had the same experience on DCUM as I have: if you want to get ugly, vitriolic comments on your parenting, just ask for advice about a kid with behavioral health challenges on one of the general boards. I will never forget the poster who told me that public school system had no obligation to teach my "bad" kid. The Kids With Special Needs board is a welcome exception that.

I remind myself that these are folks who are lucky enough not to have a high degree of difficulty kid, and that they have. no. clue.

Luck has nothing to do with that, it is a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline from the birth of the child. A lot of self control. I breastfed my kids exclusively for almost two years each, left a great job every time to stay for a year at home with each of the child and every time had to start all over with my career. lot of time spent with kids on weekends. homemad meals every day despite that I work sometimes 50-60 hours a week. Don't tell me about luck.

[phone]
There is no "luck."

NP here. You really think that if more people breast fed, cooked from scratch and didn't work, their children wouldn't have autism, OCD, bi polar disorder, schizophrenia, dylexia, ADHD, Seasonal Affective Disorder etc? Really? That's your position? What about epilepsy or brain cancer? Can they also be cured with homemade bread?

For the life of me I can't imagine how fully grown adults can be so ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I guess you've also had the same experience on DCUM as I have: if you want to get ugly, vitriolic comments on your parenting, just ask for advice about a kid with behavioral health challenges on one of the general boards. I will never forget the poster who told me that public school system had no obligation to teach my "bad" kid. The Kids With Special Needs board is a welcome exception that.

I remind myself that these are folks who are lucky enough not to have a high degree of difficulty kid, and that they have. no. clue.

Luck has nothing to do with that, it is a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline from the birth of the child. A lot of self control. I breastfed my kids exclusively for almost two years each, left a great job every time to stay for a year at home with each of the child and every time had to start all over with my career. lot of time spent with kids on weekends. homemad meals every day despite that I work sometimes 50-60 hours a week. Don't tell me about luck.

[phone]
There is no "luck."

NP here. You really think that if more people breast fed, cooked from scratch and didn't work, their children wouldn't have autism, OCD, bi polar disorder, schizophrenia, dylexia, ADHD, Seasonal Affective Disorder etc? Really? That's your position? What about epilepsy or brain cancer? Can they also be cured with homemade bread?

For the life of me I can't imagine how fully grown adults can be so ignorant.

Yeah, that's wacky. Have more kids you'll have one with issues, guaranteed.

I BF and stayed home with my autistic kid - so I have a happy autistic kid. He's still severely disabled.

[Anonymous]

I'm the person who posted about luck.

I was a stay-at-home mom for a good part of my kid's childhood, provided structure and enrichment to my kid daily, worked on positive discipline and consequences, taught strong values, and put my career on hold for a long while to focus on my kid.

Guess what: my kid still has ADHD, depression, and anxiety. She still has to deal with the ongoing effects of bullying and major medical trauma. We measure her recovery timeline in years, even decades.

I did not mean to slam the parenting of others when I point out that they are fortunate to have children who do not have learning challenges, mental health disorders, medical trauma, or violence in their lives. But my experience has been that parents who are that fortunate often do not recognize that they ARE blessed, and that others of us deal with circumstances they cannot imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I guess you've also had the same experience on DCUM as I have: if you want to get ugly, vitriolic comments on your parenting, just ask for advice about a kid with behavioral health challenges on one of the general boards. I will never forget the poster who told me that public school system had no obligation to teach my "bad" kid. The Kids With Special Needs board is a welcome exception that.

I remind myself that these are folks who are lucky enough not to have a high degree of difficulty kid, and that they have. no. clue.

Luck has nothing to do with that, it is a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline from the birth of the child. A lot of self control. I breastfed my kids exclusively for almost two years each, left a great job every time to stay for a year at home with each of the child and every time had to start all over with my career. lot of time spent with kids on weekends. homemad meals every day despite that I work sometimes 50-60 hours a week. Don't tell me about luck.

You are going to be a MIL from hell some day. Fear and dread in your orbit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the person who posted about luck.

I was a stay-at-home mom for a good part of my kid's childhood, provided structure and enrichment to my kid daily, worked on positive discipline and consequences, taught strong values, and put my career on hold for a long while to focus on my kid.

Guess what: my kid still has ADHD, depression, and anxiety. She still has to deal with the ongoing effects of bullying and major medical trauma. We measure her recovery timeline in years, even decades.

I did not mean to slam the parenting of others when I point out that they are fortunate to have children who do not have learning challenges, mental health disorders, medical trauma, or violence in their lives. But my experience has been that parents who are that fortunate often do not recognize that they ARE blessed, and that others of us deal with circumstances they cannot imagine.

You absolutely do not have to apologize. All of the reasonable people reading this thread knew what you meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I guess you've also had the same experience on DCUM as I have: if you want to get ugly, vitriolic comments on your parenting, just ask for advice about a kid with behavioral health challenges on one of the general boards. I will never forget the poster who told me that public school system had no obligation to teach my "bad" kid. The Kids With Special Needs board is a welcome exception that.

I remind myself that these are folks who are lucky enough not to have a high degree of difficulty kid, and that they have. no. clue.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:an engaged grandparent, aunt, uncle or other family friend is better than any therapist for a teen. at least that's my opinion

I agree!! My mother has been a GOD SEND for my boys! She really is a safe place for them. She listens, does not judge and gives out so much unconditional love. I'm so glad to still have my amazing mom in my kids lives. I don't consider myself a bad parent, but nothing beats a loving grandmother.

This. Therapy will fill up the emptiness that some parents created in heir child's life, but it will not solve the problem in a long run. It is much easier for a parent to accept some mental health diagnosis, spend tons of time and money rather than admit that they failed as a parent and start working on their relations with child.

What about children who have healthy fulfilling relationships with their parents, but still suffer from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or other mental health issues?

Meds and lots and lots of yoga, meditation, exercise and practicing good social skills to make and keep friends.

Sorry, but yoga and friendships don't cure or even treat bipolar, schizophrenia, and other mental disorders. Help manage? Yes. Treat or cure?Not even.

And reading comprehension programs for others!

I listed meds as the first thing in my list. Meds. Meds. Meds. I also said chemical balancing is essential for these people, way over therapy. No therapist ever saved a bipolar or schizophrenic. Trust me. I have them in my family. It's all about the meds to save a life. Then, when they are chemically balanced, it's time to teach them social skills, trust, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I guess you've also had the same experience on DCUM as I have: if you want to get ugly, vitriolic comments on your parenting, just ask for advice about a kid with behavioral health challenges on one of the general boards. I will never forget the poster who told me that public school system had no obligation to teach my "bad" kid. The Kids With Special Needs board is a welcome exception that.

I remind myself that these are folks who are lucky enough not to have a high degree of difficulty kid, and that they have. no. clue.

Luck has nothing to do with that, it is a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline from the birth of the child. A lot of self control. I breastfed my kids exclusively for almost two years each, left a great job every time to stay for a year at home with each of the child and every time had to start all over with my career. lot of time spent with kids on weekends. homemad meals every day despite that I work sometimes 50-60 hours a week. Don't tell me about luck.

[phone]
There is no "luck."

NP here. You really think that if more people breast fed, cooked from scratch and didn't work, their children wouldn't have autism, OCD, bi polar disorder, schizophrenia, dylexia, ADHD, Seasonal Affective Disorder etc? Really? That's your position? What about epilepsy or brain cancer? Can they also be cured with homemade bread?

For the life of me I can't imagine how fully grown adults can be so ignorant.

I know, this reminded me of my best friend's family--her parents were literally the nicest people I've ever met, they were the kind of parents that every kid in town trusted and looked up to. They didn't smoke or drink, went to church every Sunday, had tons of extended family around, etc. Her mom stayed at home, grew a lot of their food, cooked every meal--they had a total Norman Rockwell family life. Yet her brother had a complete psychotic breakdown his sophomore year in college--tried to kill himself. Turned out he had schizophrenia.

Sometimes, it is LUCK. Or, in this case, really shitty luck.