Hair under arm

[Anonymous]

My 10 year old daughter has noticeable hair in her armpit. I do not want to make an issue of it as she is oblivious to it and I don't want her to be self conscious. However, with her constantly in a swimsuit this summer, I'm thinking I need to show her how to shave it. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

It's normal, of course you know that, but communicating that it's normal is key here. Maybe you can talk together about body hair in general. What you do to remove it or keep it or whatever. That when she thinks she ready, she can let you know and you'll answer any questions and walk her through removal/shaving.

And until she's ready it's all fine and normal.

[Anonymous]

Have you already discussed puberty and how hair will grow? Did you mention shaving then? If so, this is easy.

If not, it still can be easy. She may not be oblivious to it, FWIW. I didn't talk to my mom about it when I got underarm hair. But she asked one day and I said yes, so she got me a razor.

I'd just ask her if she has any interest in shaving, and if so, would she like to pick out an electric razor or a regular one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's normal, of course you know that, but communicating that it's normal is key here. Maybe you can talk together about body hair in general. What you do to remove it or keep it or whatever. That when she thinks she ready, she can let you know and you'll answer any questions and walk her through removal/shaving.

And until she's ready it's all fine and normal.

Like I would tell her 'I have hair that grows in my arms, under my arms, my legs and my Pubic hair! Wierd right? Ha ha. Well it grows on everyone actually. I do shave my armpits and legs. And sometime I use hair removal on those areas too. I actually don't do anything to my arm hair' etc. and talk about how she can keep or remove hair in whatever way she wants too.

[Anonymous]

Why does it HAVE to be removed? Why shame her and program her to be ashamed of something that's she not ashamed of?

[Anonymous]

She'll let you know once she is bothered by it and wants to shave it, I see no reason to approach her about shaving it when she's oblivious and unbothered by it.

[Anonymous]

Put a kit of pink razors and shaving cream under the sink in the bathroom. If it should ever come up, you'll have the gear ready. Same with tampons and pads/liners.

My kids see me shave, and have commented on the "beard" I have on my "hoohah." DD is four and rather observant. Oh well! I tell them everyone gets hair, some people take off a little or even all of it. NBD.

She'll notice at some point. She'll see your underarms. The questions will come. I wouldn't introduce it. You don't want to police her body. Just be ready, and follow her lead.

For me, it was other girls (in high school) who noticed my leg hair. I hadn't ever considered shaving up until that point. I'd seen my mom do it, so I knew what to do and felt confident about my choice.

You want to spare her any embarrassment, that's clear. You also don't want to impose on her either. Let her decide. All good, mama.

[Anonymous]

Serious question: to all the women saying "she doesn't need to shave if she doesn't want to" -- do you shave under your arms? If so, why not just say "I shave -- as do most women in the U.S. -- so here's a razor if you want to shave too"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question: to all the women saying "she doesn't need to shave if she doesn't want to" -- do you shave under your arms? If so, why not just say "I shave -- as do most women in the U.S. -- so here's a razor if you want to shave too"?

Yes, because we were raised to be ashamed of our natural bodies, and we don't want our little girls programmed at age 10 to be ashamed like we were/are. SO, if it doesn't bother her, why make it an issue? Is it HER issue, or the MOM's issue? Does SHE think it's gross or does MOM think it's gross? Or are we afraid other people will think WE are gross?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it HAVE to be removed? Why shame her and program her to be ashamed of something that's she not ashamed of?

Because it's easier than being shamed in public at the pool by a group of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question: to all the women saying "she doesn't need to shave if she doesn't want to" -- do you shave under your arms? If so, why not just say "I shave -- as do most women in the U.S. -- so here's a razor if you want to shave too"?

I shave. Often looking at men I wish they'd shave too or in the least STOP wearing tank top shirts. Ew.
Men shave more and more these days and that's coming too I'll bet.

I just gave DD a razor of some sort as s preteen. She was thrilled. There were no conversations about what to shave.
It was an electric or battery powered one and eventually she complained and asked for a disposable one you use in the shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question: to all the women saying "she doesn't need to shave if she doesn't want to" -- do you shave under your arms? If so, why not just say "I shave -- as do most women in the U.S. -- so here's a razor if you want to shave too"?

I just think at 10, if she's not worried about it then why even bring it up. It's not like she's going to offend anyone with her offensive pits. If she was 16 sure, I'd say bring it up if she hasn't. I just don't think it's necessary at age 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it HAVE to be removed? Why shame her and program her to be ashamed of something that's she not ashamed of?

Because it's easier than being shamed in public at the pool by a group of kids.

Has that happened or are you just assuming its going to happen? My 9 yr old DD is very hairy, and couldn't care less. Her friends and other kids are not mean to her. If someone happens to make an errant comment, she just replies: "Well that's how God made ME, and He made you to be like YOU." We shouldn't be pressured by society to feel shame about our natural bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question: to all the women saying "she doesn't need to shave if she doesn't want to" -- do you shave under your arms? If so, why not just say "I shave -- as do most women in the U.S. -- so here's a razor if you want to shave too"?

Yes, because we were raised to be ashamed of our natural bodies, and we don't want our little girls programmed at age 10 to be ashamed like we were/are. SO, if it doesn't bother her, why make it an issue? Is it HER issue, or the MOM's issue? Does SHE think it's gross or does MOM think it's gross? Or are we afraid other people will think WE are gross?

I started shaving at 10 or 11 because it looked at felt better, plain and simple. No shame; no pressure. I grew up where we went to the beach all the time. I had this friend whose mother would not let her shave her legs all the way up for some weird reason -- thought it made her look like a slut or something -- so she had this strange line above the knee and hair on her thighs. Why are people so weird about shaving? Most people look better without hair -- men and women alike. I will absolutely give my daughter the option (even if she's not asking about it) when she gets underarm hair. I think it's mean to pretend like it doesn't matter when it does. Would you let her walk around with snot running down her face? that's her natural body, right?

[Anonymous]

i'd say to initiate a talk about it and don't wait for her to ask. but if she wants to shave, don't get her the old pink razor we all used (and got cuts all over with). get her a mach 3 or even more modern so that she has an easy smooth shave.