If you had to choose between private school for elementary or high school, which would you choose?

[Anonymous]

We aren't able to afford private school from K to 12 but can probably make it happen for some of that period. Our DS is still young (3), but we're already starting to think about schools and saving to make this work. For those who have had kids in private schools -- do you think it's more important to focus on elementary or high school?

We're torn between the idea that our DS would benefit from going to a really good elementary school because it would could set him up for a lifetime of enjoying learning and having a curious mind vs. the idea that our DS would benefit from a really good high school in preparation for college and the future. It seems like most people focus more on private for high school -- is that what seems to be the most important? Is there value to doing the opposite?

We do not have our hearts set on our DS going to an ivy-league school or anything like that, so the need to go to a prestigious high school for that reason is not essential (although we'd obviously love for him to get into a good college that is a good fit for him and his interests).

[Anonymous]

There is no right answer to this. We're focusing on elementary and middle, elementary for the reasons you list and middle because it's such a shitshow socially and we (and so far, the kids) like the smaller community in private school.

On the other hand, I went public for elementary and middle and then private for high school, and that was the right call for me.

Ivy league admissions are not a driver for us either.

[Anonymous]

I'd go private for elementary if you can only do one. The strong foundation they will get at a good private will allow them to do an IB, honors or other academy type program at a good public HS (assuming your high school is a good one) which will set them up well for college admissions. Plus at a private elementary, they'll get to do more hands-on learning and delve deeper into material and not have the pressure of the dreaded testing that unfortunately is driving the curriculum in so many of our public schools.

[Anonymous]

Once you start in private it can be really hard to leave. If finances are tight enough you can't see paying for it K-12, I recommend starting out in public. You might find out public works well for your child and you never need to move over to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you start in private it can be really hard to leave. If finances are tight enough you can't see paying for it K-12, I recommend starting out in public. You might find out public works well for your child and you never need to move over to private.

Genuinely curious why this is. Is it because your kids friends are all there, and it's hard to leave them? Is it because you've gotten used to things being good and it's hard to go to something that might not be as good?

[Anonymous]

I chose private school in elementary, for a good start. Small classes, caring environment, etc.

He's going into fourth now and I think he'd do just fine in a public school now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you start in private it can be really hard to leave. If finances are tight enough you can't see paying for it K-12, I recommend starting out in public. You might find out public works well for your child and you never need to move over to private.

Genuinely curious why this is. Is it because your kids friends are all there, and it's hard to leave them? Is it because you've gotten used to things being good and it's hard to go to something that might not be as good?

NP here. As a parent who sacrifices all over the place to send one kid to a NWDC independent year after year (when our IB is Murch/Deal), I'll answer.

It's very hard to consider leaving the amazing environment. It's the entire milieu, not just one aspect. Also, separately, the entire curriculum is significantly different in the first 6-8 years (not essential math, obviously, but the arts, humanities and especially the social curriculum).

Some of it is inertia, and a little part of it is our child's friendships. But mainly, it's hard to be at peace with switching out the day-to-day environment. They're not actually interchangeable, as people on DCUM would have you believe.

[Anonymous]

I would concur with the "go private for k-8" team. You need a solid foundation. A smaller class size helps tremendously and teachers have the flexibility to engage in deeper-level instruction.

By the time kids go off to high school, most of them can stand on their own 2 feet and focus on their studies. I went to 2 extremely mediocre Catholic schools from grades 2-9 and switched to public in high school. The biggest adjustment was social. But I had my head on straight and was a good student, so my parents knew I was fine.

Many of my public school classmates were truly brilliant and have gone on to lead amazing lives. I think the trouble arises when you have a child who is neither brilliant nor requires special education services. There are resources for the top and bottom in public. It's the other "average" kids, for lack of a better term, who can get lost.

[Anonymous]

As an educator I can tell you that the research clearly points to the early years (PK-3) as the most critical in a child's development as a learner.

Much of how they will function in relationships and in the work place comes from this time of their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an educator I can tell you that the research clearly points to the early years (PK-3) as the most critical in a child's development as a learner.

Much of how they will function in relationships and in the work place comes from this time of their life.

That's very interesting. I have a 4 year old. Can you elaborate on what we should be doing as parents to set this solid foundation?

[Anonymous]

I'd wait until high school. Part of the reason is that our private elementary education in a progressive DC school was nothing all that special. My kids' high school though is an incredible place where the teachers really have time to work with them due to the small class sizes, especially in writing. Also, their high school had many new kids come in from all types of public and private schools, which makes it a nice starting point.

The only exceptions is that one of my three kids had learning differences. For that DC, private elementary was more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you start in private it can be really hard to leave. If finances are tight enough you can't see paying for it K-12, I recommend starting out in public. You might find out public works well for your child and you never need to move over to private.

Genuinely curious why this is. Is it because your kids friends are all there, and it's hard to leave them? Is it because you've gotten used to things being good and it's hard to go to something that might not be as good?

This. We had to leave private because we could no longer justify the rising expense and it's been so tough to leave. My kids had to say goodbye to their friends, their teachers and administrators who they knew well, they were accustomed to a small, loving environment and a good (albeit) large public school is just not the same. We too made many friends and felt much more part of a community than we do in public. We feel tremendously guilty that our kids are not getting as good of an experience. If I had to do it over, I would have gone straight to public to have avoided knowing just what we're missing. I do think we'll probably go back to private for high school (and possibly middle school if our finances improve).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd wait until high school. Part of the reason is that our private elementary education in a progressive DC school was nothing all that special. My kids' high school though is an incredible place where the teachers really have time to work with them due to the small class sizes, especially in writing. Also, their high school had many new kids come in from all types of public and private schools, which makes it a nice starting point.

The only exceptions is that one of my three kids had learning differences. For that DC, private elementary was more important.

+1 If we had to do it all over again, I would only do private for HS. Everyone always talks about instilling a "love for learning" as the reason to do private for elementary but I never really saw that. Plenty of kids came in from public and were better students and truly loved learning than the kids that had been lifers. I believe that kids either love being students or they don't.

What private HS does do is give them opportunities to be part of many things that are difficult in a competitive public HS. Most kids in private can be part of team, not the case in public were only the best athletes can participate. Great trips, sponsored by the school, Model UN, arts opportunities are much more available which gives all students a chance to find a passion they may not know they had. In public, everything is so competitive to participate in so it doesn't always allow that exploration. My DC only found their niche in HS as to what their passion was.

The writing opportunities are also much greater in private. A private teacher has the time to work with students to improve writing. Not the case in public. We do have one in public HS now which is why I can compare. The 3rd did not have a school they truly liked so public it was. Overall, it has been a good experience especially for science classes but we do miss the more one on one experience that private provides.

[Anonymous]

+1000 to private elementary and at least through 6th if you can swing it. As many have said, it will be the social and academic foundation on which all future learning is built. DC developed strong study skills, got extra attention along the way for any learning bumps on the road without the need for an IEP, grew his critical thinking skills and is empathic and kind. His standardized test scores also told us that he was prepared to transition out of private if need be into a more test centered public environment. Lastly, he has the confidence to advocate for himself. DH and I would love to take credit for it all but the reality is that we work a lot and had to put a lot of faith and trust in our children's school. Private elementary was so worth it to us but as a previous poster suggested, do your homework, look at as many schools as possible to find the right fit for your family.

[Anonymous]

Completely disagree with poster who said kids love being students or they don't. Kids are natural and flexible learners and students from a very young age. Typically those who shut down do so after a series of negative school experiences often in the early years.