Is private school worth it?

[Anonymous]

I've debated this question in my mind since my son started kindergarten and I am still on the fence, which is why I want to hear from others (especially people who attended private school). What advantages does private really offer anyone? I get why the uber wealthy send their kids- they won't miss the money and they have sent their kids for generations, and want to stick to their own kind. What about the rest of us? We definitely could use the money for other things, but make the decision to pay for private instead.
Is it worth it? Do the schools prepare these kids better academically/socially? Do the kids make "better/"richer friends or connections that will benefit them later? Are the kids more likely to get into top ranked schools, and is it because of the school or the kid? I've heard varying opinions from others, justifying their own choices, but I want to get to get honest opinions from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Ask OP of this thread.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/566178.page

[Anonymous]

If you have ANY other use for your money -- including paying for more or all of college -- NOT worth it to spend the money on private k-12.

As for admissions -- no, it doesn't make an Ivy or another elite school more likely. I went to one of those elite schools not that many yrs ago (graduated in the 2000s) and it was 50% private and 50% public. I also do various committees for the university now and they REALLY take it seriously that they want to be open to everyone, not just Sidwell grads so they hold the 50-50 distribution very strictly.

As for connections - no, UNLESS you're one of the elite families. If you are already one of the elite families, sending your kids to school with other elites will lead to more socializing between families for 12 yrs, which WILL benefit your kid when he's at college and decides he wants to do real estate development and can call up his high school best friend whose dad is the hottest developer in town and obviously won't say no to an internship for a kid he's known since age 5. But if your life at that private school is more "go to school and go home" and the family connections aren't built, those become "school friends" and it's highly unlikely they'll hook you up with jobs etc. later when they can hook up their family friends.

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand these questions of private vs public schools, as if there isn't a HUGE spectrum of quality across both.

I went to a private school. My kids' public school is head and shoulders better. I loved my school, but will admit to sometimes being slightly envious of the education my kids are receiving.

I'm sure there are scads of parents with public school backgrounds who find their children's private school educations to be much better than their own.

You need to compare school to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've debated this question in my mind since my son started kindergarten and I am still on the fence, which is why I want to hear from others (especially people who attended private school). What advantages does private really offer anyone? I get why the uber wealthy send their kids- they won't miss the money and they have sent their kids for generations, and want to stick to their own kind. What about the rest of us? We definitely could use the money for other things, but make the decision to pay for private instead.
Is it worth it? Do the schools prepare these kids better academically/socially? Do the kids make "better/"richer friends or connections that will benefit them later? Are the kids more likely to get into top ranked schools, and is it because of the school or the kid? I've heard varying opinions from others, justifying their own choices, but I want to get to get honest opinions from DCUM.

You will get nothing but biased opinions here. Keep that in mind as people offer their thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Our kids attended private school from pre-K 3 through 12 and it was the absolute right choice for our family. They got great educations, have life-long friends, went on to Ivy League schools and have emerged as confident, young adults. I'm not going to make blanket generalizations about how public schools or private schools are fabulous. It depends on you, your children, what kind of learners your children are and your family income and choices and what you are looking for. Those are the kinds of things you want to reflect upon. There are many, many fine school options in our area.

[Anonymous]

I went to a private school, one of my children has gone to several private schools, and one of my children went to public school.

In general, private school has more bells and whistles -- more specials, perhaps nicer facilities, smaller class sizes. Some of those differences have real academic effects and others don't; some of those differences will matter a lot to some kids but not to others.

I don't think there are any reputable studies that show that private school makes a difference in terms of adult outcomes -- salary or happiness or any other way to define success.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the child and school. I went to private school (not in DC metro) and my oldest goes to a small private but my youngest will go to public. My BFF went to public Prince George's County schools K-12 and has two advanced degrees from two different Ivy League schools.

[Anonymous]

If you live in DC, you have no choice but private after elemntary school. But I just shake my head and laugh when I hear my friends who live in close-in Maryland and Virginia to private schools-- 100% waste of money, even detrimental bc your kid is educated with a bunch of snobs. If you are going to live in VA or MD and send your kids to private, then just move into DC for Christ's sake. Im a product of Arlington
schools 30 years ago. They were fine then and today they are vastly better.

[Anonymous]

In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the child and school. I went to private school (not in DC metro) and my oldest goes to a small private but my youngest will go to public. My BFF went to public Prince George's County schools K-12 and has two advanced degrees from two different Ivy League schools.

This. I went to public school in Howard County a million years ago, but the system was still considered extremely good. I was the type of kid who would get a good education anywhere. But still I feel it lacked a lot. I feel I didn't learn to think critically until college. I wanted better for my son.

He's in a small private school, under $20,000. I can't reasonably afford the big three types of schools. So this tuition fits our income without compromising crucial things like retirement and college savings. I feel it was extremely beneficial for him in K-2. Small classes, focus on character, project-based and inquiry-based learning. He's a great analytical thinker now, as a rising 4th grader. He got the individual attention he needed. I don't think private school is as helpful for him now. Of course, that just may be the particular school, which is small. But I'm very happy to have paid the money for K-2. I'm getting less so as he progresses, and he will eventually transition to public.

[Anonymous]

Well, attending private school takes the shackles off a bit in where you can live, so your house should be cheaper in theory.

If you go to private school and live in North Arlington, you're just burning dollars.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous] Our kids attended private school from pre-K 3 through 12 and it was the absolute right choice for our family. They got great educations, have life-long friends, went on to Ivy League schools and have emerged as confident, young adults. I'm not going to make blanket generalizations about how public schools or private schools are fabulous. It depends on you, your children, what kind of learners your children are and your family income and choices and what you are looking for. Those are the kinds of things you want to reflect upon. There are many, many fine school options in our area.[/quote]

Thank you for this comment!! I really appreciate your perspective and your kindness, though sadly, it seems like a lot of your private parent contemporaries don't share your accepting stance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

+1 That's exactly what my son said after leaving MCPS. "I was just a number there."

[Anonymous]

My parents sacrificed so I could attend a great private school and then I went on to a big public college. What I found was that both by credits and academic background, I was well ahead of my freshmen peers academically. I actually could have finished in 3 years because of the AP acceleration. I was will prepared as a writer and a critical thinker - something that most of the students at the university were not, though they were mostly products of the state high school system.

This was true of my classmates as well who went to mostly elite ivy type schools.

Fast forward, we would have been more than happy with the JKLM whatever DCPS for our kids and then Deal and Wilson, but they got into a local private. It has been a great experience - I am truly envious of the education they are receiving. They have a true love of learning and are being encouraged in areas that fit their strengths both in the classroom and in the "specials" like theater, music, sports etc.

I am not sure they would have had as much opportunity to explore the non-classroom pursuits in public. But it still boils down to critical thinking, learning how to write, how to formulate an argument or articulate an idea.