Is private school worth it?

[Anonymous]

If you do a search, you'll probably find 20+ threads on this same topic. Everyone is biased to justify their choice. Is private school better? Yes, definitely. Having gone to a "top" public school and a "top" private school myself, and having also sent my kids to a "top" public and private, I can say without hesitation that private school is hands down better in almost every way. Is it worth it? That depends on how important it is to you and what type of sacrifices you have to make to be able to afford it. For our family, the financial stress was just too much so we moved to public. It's not as good, we're not as happy with the school, but we're saving tons of money and have less financial stress. It's working for now, but I could see us switching back to private in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do a search, you'll probably find 20+ threads on this same topic. Everyone is biased to justify their choice. Is private school better? Yes, definitely. Having gone to a "top" public school and a "top" private school myself, and having also sent my kids to a "top" public and private, I can say without hesitation that private school is hands down better in almost every way. Is it worth it? That depends on how important it is to you and what type of sacrifices you have to make to be able to afford it. For our family, the financial stress was just too much so we moved to public. It's not as good, we're not as happy with the school, but we're saving tons of money and have less financial stress. It's working for now, but I could see us switching back to private in a few years.

^ well said. That's really the bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents sacrificed so I could attend a great private school and then I went on to a big public college. What I found was that both by credits and academic background, I was well ahead of my freshmen peers academically. I actually could have finished in 3 years because of the AP acceleration. I was will prepared as a writer and a critical thinker - something that most of the students at the university were not, though they were mostly products of the state high school system.

This was true of my classmates as well who went to mostly elite ivy type schools.

Fast forward, we would have been more than happy with the JKLM whatever DCPS for our kids and then Deal and Wilson, but they got into a local private. It has been a great experience - I am truly envious of the education they are receiving. They have a true love of learning and are being encouraged in areas that fit their strengths both in the classroom and in the "specials" like theater, music, sports etc.

I am not sure they would have had as much opportunity to explore the non-classroom pursuits in public. But it still boils down to critical thinking, learning how to write, how to formulate an argument or articulate an idea.

[Anonymous]

I went to a public school and could have finished college in three years. Also, it was a great preparation for a top ranked public undergrad. Sure private is a nice luxury perhaps if you have the money, personally I'd prefer to help my kid with college and grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents sacrificed so I could attend a great private school and then I went on to a big public college. What I found was that both by credits and academic background, I was well ahead of my freshmen peers academically. I actually could have finished in 3 years because of the AP acceleration. I was will prepared as a writer and a critical thinker - something that most of the students at the university were not, though they were mostly products of the state high school system.

This was true of my classmates as well who went to mostly elite ivy type schools.

Fast forward, we would have been more than happy with the JKLM whatever DCPS for our kids and then Deal and Wilson, but they got into a local private. It has been a great experience - I am truly envious of the education they are receiving. They have a true love of learning and are being encouraged in areas that fit their strengths both in the classroom and in the "specials" like theater, music, sports etc.

I am not sure they would have had as much opportunity to explore the non-classroom pursuits in public. But it still boils down to critical thinking, learning how to write, how to formulate an argument or articulate an idea.

Snuh. I tested out of composition for undergrad and received a perfect score on the writing portion of the GRE. Public high school and public university. It really doesn't matter where you went when the words are on the paper.

It has way more to do with the kid than the school. I didn't give a toss about school, had a really excellent time, so I must've appeared very lazy to my peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

+1 That's exactly what my son said after leaving MCPS. "I was just a number there."

Uh!

I am going to be sending my kids to private school, it's going to be one of those incremental improvements since FCPS already has some great schools and teachers. It's not an expense we would incur if we had to stretch or sacrifice to do it.

The above quoted posts are what I worry about: another generation of snowflakes who think they are unique and special. In the larger scheme of things, all kids are just a number. If they don't learn this in school, they'll learn it in college, and certainly they will learn it in the work place and other areas of life. It's the one aspect of private school that I am worried about, that the kids are too cuddled to be independent, and too confident to realize that their ideas are usually unoriginal and misinformed, and that accomplishments are the result of practice and hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

+1 That's exactly what my son said after leaving MCPS. "I was just a number there."

Uh!

I am going to be sending my kids to private school, it's going to be one of those incremental improvements since FCPS already has some great schools and teachers. It's not an expense we would incur if we had to stretch or sacrifice to do it.

The above quoted posts are what I worry about: another generation of snowflakes who think they are unique and special. In the larger scheme of things, all kids are just a number. If they don't learn this in school, they'll learn it in college, and certainly they will learn it in the work place and other areas of life. It's the one aspect of private school that I am worried about, that the kids are too cuddled to be independent, and too confident to realize that their ideas are usually unoriginal and misinformed, and that accomplishments are the result of practice and hard work.

Ditto. I went to a public school in one of those states all of DCUM makes relentless fun of, AND I not only graduated early from college,
I graduated early from a top 20 college. the argument is not holding water for me. As for the "specials" argument, one of the reasons we
Send out kids to public is so we can spend money on Top quality instruction in whatever "special" our kids want. Compare the money you spend on tuition to the sum total of all our lessons and sports and art classes and our way is significantly cheaper and (in our mind) the institution is better. With the money we save we could have a personal Spanish tutor five days a week.

[Anonymous]

Depends 100% on the kid. My brother and I went to a big 3 private worshiped on this board. I did well - top 20%, Ivy, etc. He was out of this world smart - literally perfect SAT without studying, at Georgetown for math by 10th grade, etc. I'd have been fine at public. He needed a little more attention.

FWIW I don't think the expense is worth it, unless your publics are really awful. I think privates are somewhat better - especially in high school - and especially for students who need more attention (on low or high end of the spectrum). But there are very few families that wouldn't feel that level of financial expense (800k+ for 12 years, 2 kids), and the tradeoffs simply aren't worth it, IMO.

Then there are the parent communities, which are insufferable, especially at the "top" privates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

This statement is absolutely not true! I only attended private myself, and now I'm a teacher who has only taught at private, so I have a good idea what I am talking about here (but I understand that private school parents all adamantly disagree).

Private schools pay their teachers far, far less than public, and this, combined with the fact that privates can/do employ non-certified teachers, is the reason that privates hire significantly higher proportions of young, inexperienced teachers. Yes, the work environment is nice if you have a spouse who can pay the bills, but there are also many private school teachers who work there because they simply aren't employable at public. The invested, enthusiastic parents of private school kids does tend to close the gap a bit, and make up for the teachers' lack of experience or subject matter knowledge, but not entirely. In private, you are paying for social connections, prestige, and stately buildings....NOT superior teachers.

I teach private because I like the atmosphere, involved parents, and lack of behavior issues, but I am 100% certain that the education offered is not superior to public. It is possible that the social connections do compensate, and that there are other factors that smooth a child's path to success more easily than superior teaching staff/education, and this is what parents don't want to admit.

[Anonymous]

I went to private schools from PK-12, including 4 years at a big name NE boarding school. I received an excellent education and went to a prestigious college. My children are attending public school and will do so for the forseeable future.

In my estimation, comparing the public schools which we (my family) have access to and "the big three" - there's a 10-15% difference-- meaning that privates are better in many aspects. But the core learning and peer group is not. This 10-15%, however, is not worth the financial toll it would take on our family.

If we had grandparents who were happy to fund tuition, or we had an extremely high income, I'd probably consider it for middle and high school. But we don't, and honestly I don't think my kids will wind up in a different place at the end.

One comment- many, many of my friends who attended private schools now send their kids to public. Generally we all tend to agree that with a great public school option, it simply isn't worth $40K/year unless that amount of money isn't significant for you.

[Anonymous]

It's not worth it unless 1) $40K/year is no big deal to you 2) grandparents are paying 3)your local public is truly dreadful 4)your child needs to attend a special needs school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

This statement is absolutely not true! I only attended private myself, and now I'm a teacher who has only taught at private, so I have a good idea what I am talking about here (but I understand that private school parents all adamantly disagree).

Private schools pay their teachers far, far less than public, and this, combined with the fact that privates can/do employ non-certified teachers, is the reason that privates hire significantly higher proportions of young, inexperienced teachers. Yes, the work environment is nice if you have a spouse who can pay the bills, but there are also many private school teachers who work there because they simply aren't employable at public. The invested, enthusiastic parents of private school kids does tend to close the gap a bit, and make up for the teachers' lack of experience or subject matter knowledge, but not entirely. In private, you are paying for social connections, prestige, and stately buildings....NOT superior teachers.

I teach private because I like the atmosphere, involved parents, and lack of behavior issues, but I am 100% certain that the education offered is not superior to public. It is possible that the social connections do compensate, and that there are other factors that smooth a child's path to success more easily than superior teaching staff/education, and this is what parents don't want to admit.

Some people buy into the idea that everything about private school is better than public and forge blindly ahead with that notion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience (I've send kids to both public and private), the quality of education is much better at private.

The teachers are more qualified and have more freedom. The head of school is more invested in making teachers happy. The kids are expected to behave more civilized and less like wild barbarians. Kindness, compassion, respect was taught at my kids private but never at our public so the kids were unruly and bratty.

From chapel in the morning to head of school walking around, you get the feeling that the instructors care about your child. At public school they were a number and they felt it.

This statement is absolutely not true! I only attended private myself, and now I'm a teacher who has only taught at private, so I have a good idea what I am talking about here (but I understand that private school parents all adamantly disagree).

Private schools pay their teachers far, far less than public, and this, combined with the fact that privates can/do employ non-certified teachers, is the reason that privates hire significantly higher proportions of young, inexperienced teachers. Yes, the work environment is nice if you have a spouse who can pay the bills, but there are also many private school teachers who work there because they simply aren't employable at public. The invested, enthusiastic parents of private school kids does tend to close the gap a bit, and make up for the teachers' lack of experience or subject matter knowledge, but not entirely. In private, you are paying for social connections, prestige, and stately buildings....NOT superior teachers.

I teach private because I like the atmosphere, involved parents, and lack of behavior issues, but I am 100% certain that the education offered is not superior to public. It is possible that the social connections do compensate, and that there are other factors that smooth a child's path to success more easily than superior teaching staff/education, and this is what parents don't want to admit.

There were people teaching at my highly regarded DC private who had just graduated from college, and were alumni of the private. No advanced degree. Some hadn't even studied education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to private schools from PK-12, including 4 years at a big name NE boarding school. I received an excellent education and went to a prestigious college. My children are attending public school and will do so for the forseeable future.

In my estimation, comparing the public schools which we (my family) have access to and "the big three" - there's a 10-15% difference-- meaning that privates are better in many aspects. But the core learning and peer group is not. This 10-15%, however, is not worth the financial toll it would take on our family.

If we had grandparents who were happy to fund tuition, or we had an extremely high income, I'd probably consider it for middle and high school. But we don't, and honestly I don't think my kids will wind up in a different place at the end.

One comment- many, many of my friends who attended private schools now send their kids to public. Generally we all tend to agree that with a great public school option, it simply isn't worth $40K/year unless that amount of money isn't significant for you.

I'm also a private school alum sending my kids to public. What I highlighted from your post is the ultimate deciding factor for us (along with the cost - we could afford it, but not without MAJOR thought going into it). My kids are still young, so major learning/behavior issues aside that would necessitate a smaller environment, there's no reason to think they'd end up anywhere different in life as a result of private. They'll grow up in a household with involved and educated parents, surrounded by families with similar values. They'll be respected, disciplined, loved, part of a tight family unit, etc. That's what will determine the kind of men they become - not a 40k/year price tag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you live in DC, you have no choice but private after elemntary school. But I just shake my head and laugh when I hear my friends who live in close-in Maryland and Virginia to private schools-- 100% waste of money, even detrimental bc your kid is educated with a bunch of snobs. If you are going to live in VA or MD and send your kids to private, then just move into DC for Christ's sake. Im a product of Arlington
schools 30 years ago. They were fine then and today they are vastly better.

This isn't absolutely true these days but still middle school in DC is the most problematic. For this reason we sent our DD to private school in MoCo for three years. But after that we're back in DCPS at an application high school. All of this worked out great-- a variety of experiences for DD and not a huge expense since we only paid for three years.