What is wrong with a woman marrying well?

[Anonymous]

Why is there so much hostility towards a woman who expresses an interest in marrying well? Just because someone falls in love with someone who happens to be rich doesn't mean that woman is a gold digger. Neither does dating only the men who are financially stable make her one. Gold-digging is marrying someone for the express purpose of his wealth.In my experience, no one really does this. I do know women who actively filter men and date wealthy guys but marry them only if they love them. Why so much hate?

[Anonymous]

Because it just acknowledges the economics of the marriage transaction while we're supposed to carry on with the fiction that you should marry for love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it just acknowledges the economics of the marriage transaction while we're supposed to carry on with the fiction that you should marry for love.

but you can fall in love with a rich guy just as easily as with a poor guy, no?

[Anonymous]

Having married someone who was broke, is broke, and will likely always be decidedly not rich, I can't say I can hold it against someone for prioritizing financial security when selecting a partner. I'm happy with my choice but this broke but happy life isn't for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it just acknowledges the economics of the marriage transaction while we're supposed to carry on with the fiction that you should marry for love.

but you can fall in love with a rich guy just as easily as with a poor guy, no?

+1

I know poor women who married rich guys that they were hopelessly in love with. Of course, the guy's money added the prestige factor, but the women clearly adored these men regardless of their money.

I have never seen a woman walk down the aisle with a rich guy she hates.

[Anonymous]

The problem is the definition. In whose mind does marrying "well" all come down to money?

[Anonymous]

I hadn't noticed any hate for women wanting to marry financially stable men. It's pretty sensible. I wish I could be so sensible, but I'm not.

Knowing your priorities is a good thing. With my temperament, I always went for intense romantic connection and never was lucky enough to find money happened to go along with it.

Now just don't put financial stability at the top of your list and then later whine about how you don't feel sexual or romantic towards your husband. That wasn't your priority when you picked him, so live with it. Everything has a price, and very few get to have it all.

[Anonymous]

Of course a woman can marry a rich man if she wants, because in this day and age, she'll be fully self supporting and won't need any of his money anyway. So his level of wealth is not relevant, is it?

[Anonymous]

Ultimately, the only person you should depend on for financial stability is yourself. Attempt to marry rich all you want, but you aren't in control of your spouse's career choices or investments or his relationship with his wealthy parents (or whatever the source of his "stability" is), and he may decide he doesn't care about wealth, or make bad choices and lose it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it just acknowledges the economics of the marriage transaction while we're supposed to carry on with the fiction that you should marry for love.

but you can fall in love with a rich guy just as easily as with a poor guy, no?

+1

I know poor women who married rich guys that they were hopelessly in love with. Of course, the guy's money added the prestige factor, but the women clearly adored these men regardless of their money.

I have never seen a woman walk down the aisle with a rich guy she hates.

Oh please! I know plenty of women around DC who did this! You sound like you just fell off the turnip truck.

[Anonymous]

Because they give up their career and then cry a river when he leaves them, then they act like living in Rockville is a hardship. Then they scramble for another man to pay the bills and look and act pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Because we live in a misogynistic patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

Notice that when a man marries a young hot 20 something, he never gets vilified. It's always the girl who is the vicious, scheming gold digger!

There is sooooooo much misogyny threaded through our culture. Good for you OP, for starting to notice and question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we live in a misogynistic patriarchy.

+ infinity + 1

Thanks for the chuckle. Made my day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice that when a man marries a young hot 20 something, he never gets vilified. It's always the girl who is the vicious, scheming gold digger!

It's the same concept when a guy wants to marry a hot/attractive woman. No one thinks there's anything wrong with that. What's the difference?