5 year old girl very focused on her looks

[Anonymous]

My younger daughter is 5 and is increasingly focused on her appearance. She wants to wear dresses so she can "look pretty" and doesn't want to play outside because she says she could get dirty and won't look nice. She asks to borrow lip gloss in the morning and spends time in front of the mirror putting it on and examining herself, sometimes asking us if she's pretty enough. Her older sister is a tomboy, only interested in playing on the playground and getting dirty, I'm not sure where this is coming from or if I should be concerned. I'm sure she gets a lot of messages about appearance from outside our home but as a family we're fairly crunchy, she doesn't see her parents or sister spend much time on appearances.

Is this a stage, or is she just going to be more of a princess than her big sister?

[Anonymous]

My daughter has gone through phases like this. She still likes pink and purple best, she has a ton of princess dolls and she likes to accessorize. She loves dresses.

BUT... she is a fierce competitor on the soccer field, will fall down, see that her knee is bleeding, take a soccer ball to the face and get back up and keep playing. She'll play in the mud or jump in puddles if the option is offered.

It doesn't have to be an either/or. (But yes, yours might be a different type of kid than your first.)

[Anonymous]

My niece went through phases like this and then she decided tomboy with s little interest in frill was her style. I would maybe give her some of the silly "Oh yes, you look mahvelous.." but also make sure she understands the important beauty is beauty within and what that "looks like" (e.g. kindness to others, being a good friend, respectful to adults, caring about those who are sad...)

[Anonymous]

It may be a stage, but it's one that I would be quick to cut off. This can lead nowhere positive. Why are you allowing a five year old to wear lip gloss in the first place?

[Anonymous]

Pretty is as pretty does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may be a stage, but it's one that I would be quick to cut off. This can lead nowhere positive. Why are you allowing a five year old to wear lip gloss in the first place?

Yes, OP is a monster, raising the next JonBenet Ramsey.

It may be a passing phase, just continue to encourage her in other activities. If not sports then maybe art, music, books, blocks, cooking. No 5 year old is totally lost to the world of superficial beauty just yet.

[Anonymous]

Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she's just girly!! totally normal and ok.

If you feel that she's influenced by peer group/comments at school, then you can work to counter that.

But, it's completely normal for girls to play dress up, and like lip gloss and want to look pretty (some more than others)

[Anonymous]

Might be something she's picked up from a friend she likes very much, or it might just be who she is. Hard to tell at that age and also nothing to worry about. Yet. If it gets to a point where her self esteem is based on nothing else, that's a problem. Let her know, in indirect ways, that it's not bad to be concerned about looks, but it's not the number one thing that makes her a teriffic kid. Play up kindness and other qualities of character that are more valuable.

[Anonymous]

I was not a girly girl but daughter loves all pink and princesses. I don't even get my nails done. Ever. But I let my 6 year old give me pedicures in the kitchen and I do the same for her. It's kid polish so it comes right off. She loves it. Why not? I am learning to embrace all of this. She isn't overly focused on looks but does seem to enjoy pretty things. It's only one aspect of her personality. Mine has no problem playing and getting dirty, though. Does your daughter like to do other things as well? Maybe she really doesn't like getting dirty? My sister has been like that her whole life and doesn't wear any makeup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.

This is a joke post, right? Please tell me you are joking or admit to being a troll. It's 2016.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.

As if I needed more evidence to dislike the South.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.

This is a joke post, right? Please tell me you are joking or admit to being a troll. It's 2016.

It's 2016 and women are still judged on appearances, I'm not saying she girls need to focus on only being pretty but acting like it's bad to care about looking good is also not going to do anyone any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.

This is a bunch of bull and my mom's from the South.

The concern here is less that she might want to wear dresses or even lip gloss, and more that this is actively interfering with her DOING things. Lest she "get dirty" or whatever. This is coming from somewhere more specific than the general pressure to "look pretty," which is just in the air that we breathe. OP, you need to figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.

As if I needed more evidence to dislike the South.

Don't judge an entire region by this one post. I'm from the south and I wasn't raised this way.