Do you hate flying with kids so much that you don't travel anymore?

[Anonymous]

I love to travel but I hate to fly with my one year old DS. It is much worse than I thought it would be. Lately I've been flying with him on my own so that has added to the difficulty of it. He will not sit still for more than 2 minutes, gets fussy very easily, can't fall asleep so he will often go into meltdown mode, etc. I'm starting to get a bit of anxiety before flying with him and have begun to reconsider traveling at all. On the last few trips I've taken, very few people gave me assistance (flight attendants included) and I received some pretty nasty looks from irritated passengers sitting nearby.

I have an opportunity to use a free ticket this summer to fly to Seattle for 8 days (will be a great respite from the DC heat!) but the journey will involve traveling with DS by myself, having 2 hour layovers each way. I cannot decide whether to go or not. I'm just wondering if other people no longer travel (or have significantly cut back) because the hassle of getting to and from is too great. If I tried to talk to family/friends about it, they'd say "oh just suck it up, it's not that bad." Am I over-thinking it a bit? Just wanted to get feedback from others who may have similar feelings or tips for mentally preparing myself for travel.

[Anonymous]

No, you are not overthinking it. And to your family that tells you to suck it up, I'd say let them travel with him and see how they like it. This is a topic near and dear to my heart. At 10 months (actually, on a flight to Seattle) our DS turned into an absolute nightmare on a plane. Really, someone we didn't recognize and NOTHING we tried worked (DVD player, new toys, favorite snacks, etc. And same thing as you - our normally fabulous napper wouldn't sleep a wink that day due to overstimulation which just made everything worse). We had flown to CA a couple of times with him before that and it was okay but it was once he became mobile that everything changed. After that flight we did a couple of short trips that were manageable only due to length. Finally, it was after we had to go to a wedding in TX with a layover both ways and the flight home was particularly bad (I broke into tears when we landed) that we said no more. I think he was 1 yr, 10 months then. So we stopped flying for a while. Our family understood. We reentered the flying public shortly after he turned three and it made a huge difference. I mean, it still wasn't a walk in the park and it's exhausting trying to entertain the entire time but at least we could communicate and he understood things like needing to be patient, etc. Plus he got more of a kick out of the whole experience...only really get bored after we had been in the air for a while. So yes, we did stop flying due to behavior and hassle.

[Anonymous]

Benadryl

[Anonymous]

You are not ovethinking it....I had a "mandatory" family trip to northern Michigan in February (bitter, bitter cold) and because of that trip I still have yet to fly again - over 2 years ago. Basically we spent the whole day travelling - layover in Chicago and connection was at opposite end of airport from where we landed. We also had to rent a car at the destination, including installing car seats, etc, and then drive another two hours. On top of it one child got a severe ear infection that took weeks to clear up and the other child got croup. To make it even worse we were staying at a ski resort with a 6 month old and a 2 year old - what were they suppose to do during the day? They were stuck in the hotel the enitre trip. Never again! Next time husband goes by himself!

[Anonymous]

13:44 Poster - Forgot to add that when I was going to Walgreens to get one of the kids prescriptions filled - MIL insisted upon coming with me. She drove and the air in her tires was low, got that fixed, and then she drove onto a snow covered driveway and got the car STUCK! We had to wait for about an hour for the police to come and push our car out of the snow. Worse trip ever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Benadryl

My ped said it actually makes some kids more hyperactive! So give it a test run first.

[Anonymous]

We had high hopes for Bonine (also an antihistamine) but it prevented our toddler from sleeping. So we haven't tried benadryl. Yes, travel is such a pain that we've resigned ourselves to staying put for the next year or two. When we have to do more than two or three hours in the car, we do it at night.

[Anonymous]

Not really. I still fly /travel with her, but I agree it has gotten worse as she's gotten older, and that the no-longer-willing-to-sleep-on-the-plane thing is pretty frustrating. FWIW we've flown a LOT - I think our daughter has been on something like 8-10 round trips and she's 18 months old, and most of these have been on my own. Except for that last flight about a month ago where we were supposed to fly home as a family and Dad forgot to double check his ticket, so he got to take her on the later flight and I flew home by myself. I'd forgotten what it was like to just sit on a plane with noone to take care of - it was awesome!!

However, her getting older *has* changed how I'm likely to schedule the trip. For instance, the last 2 flights were past nap time, so it made her more of a sleepy mess. I now plan to travel really early in the day or quite late to give us a better chance of her getting a nap. I also try to schedule trips so the planes are likely to be <100% full, and I do my damndest, including talking to the check in attendant and the one at the gate, to get myself next to an empty seat. I also specifically try to get an aisle seat so I can get up and walk the aisle with DD (who likes to go up and down and wave at everyone.) I figure folks are going to be a LOT less bothered by her doing that than her screaming in her seat. Other that that, it's bringing lots of food, snacks and toys, my Ergo to carry her in for when she's tired, and some prayers for good behavior. Along with a willingness to take my daughter into the bathroom if she's having a real meltdown and a knowledge in advance that the flight is going to suck. Actually, I think that last big is the most important - if I just expect that it's going to be a shi*tty flight it doesn't take me by surprise as much.

As for going to Seattle this summer, personally I'd still go, but I understand if you decide the positives aren't worth the pain. Any chance those layover could actually help you? Give DS a chance to run around, or at least a shot of getting him to take some nap?

[Anonymous]

I'm with you PP. We were big time travelers - traveled long distances, many times a year- before having DD. Now, we don't at all. I just can't deal with the stress of dealing with her on a plane (she is 2).

It sucks. Because not traveling is very, very hard for me.

[Anonymous]

I've found that it's toughest when they are between 8 months-3 years old. After that, it's SO MUCH EASIER to keep them entertained.

We recently went on a trip with our kids (now 3 and 5 years old) and it was so pleasant that we forgot all about how tough it is to travel with them and decided to go for having another baby - what were we thinking?!?!

[Anonymous]

16:13 - Yeah, not getting the hell out of this place would be very hard for me, too. OP, we travel far less and usually by car since kids. It's definitely difficult. The airline staff don't help, really.

[Anonymous]

When DS was 14 mos or so, I just couldn't take it anymore and stopped traveling until he grew old enough to appreciate long DVDs.

Prior to that, we flew cross-country every other month and it just got harder and harder. Infants in bucket seats are a breeze.

[Anonymous]

Great--I flew twice when DD was 4 months and 6 months no problem. We have a trip to CA when she'll be 13 months and now I'm freaking out. Will it really be awful?

[Anonymous]

Our 11-month-old DD refuses to even be in a car for more than 20 minutes without pitching a fit. I can't imagine even driving to Dulles with her, let alone flying somewhere with her after that. When we have to go more than 20-30 min by car we only go at naptime. It Sucks. I love to travel and it's really hard having a kid who doesn't (at least not yet, I'm really hoping things change as she gets older).

[Anonymous]

pp - 16:13 here - it will probably be just fine, but it won't be anywhere near as easy as at 4 & 6 months, so just be prepared for that, and expect that you will be CONSTANTLY attending to your child for the whole flight.

Also note what kind of child you have. Our DD is quite active, but not in a bouncing off the walls kind of way, and she is VERY people oriented. So letting her interact with the folks on the plane and some walking of the aisle helps keep her entertained. I imagine a very rambunctious boy may be more difficult.

And if you're flying together with someone else that makes it even better - 2 people to contain/entertain the kid, extra seat, etc.