Do you hate flying with kids so much that you don't travel anymore?

[Anonymous]

I think another big part of it is just familiarity. The more you do it the better it gets. We take at least five 9+ hour road trips with our kids each year. When we fly I always get them a seat. God Lord why would anyone expect a toddler to sit on a lap for an hour or more? They know that when they are strapped in the car they can't roam around and the same is true for the plane. I just keep handing over toys or books and some snacks. Our longest flight has been 3 hours so that's a walk in the park compared to driving!

[Anonymous]

Personally, I will not go on a plane with my son to go anywhere. But plane travel freaks me out anyways (all the changing rules, having to be there hours early just to wait in lines, and I get claustrophopic on the plane). Pre-kid I sucked it up. Post-kid, I say no way.

I will do it when he is older, but for right now, honestly, a trip to Target entertains him. There's no need for us to fly anywhere (all relatives are either driving distance or the one makes annual trips to where we live to see other relatives anyways).

[Anonymous]

We fly a little. It got VERY easy when we just had 1 DD. I took her myself to visit in-laws at age 3. Now with 2 (ages 4 and 1), we just did our first flight, and I had to bring the 2 back by myself. Not so easy, but my DDs are not terribly difficult. Only medium-maintenance.

Now the car trips suck. A 4 hour trip can take no less than 6.5 hrs. It's mind numbing trying to keep them entertained. Probably it will get a bit easier when they're all older.

OP, I say do what you absolutely HAVE to do, and if other folks want to see your child, they can come to you!!

[Anonymous]

What made us postpone flying was our first trip cross-country with our two kids. After that trip, we are done flying awhile until they are older (we did it when they were 3 and 1).

On the bright side, we live in a great part of the country where there are plenty places to go that are within driving distance! Explore the East Coast for your trips!

[Anonymous]

I love to travel, so it would take a lot to get me to stay home. But, at least for me, it really hasn't been that bad. I think a lot of it depends on the kids, and also your expectations. We've travelled to Europe and Hawaii with our two boys (now ages 2 and 4) several times already, and its certainly not our favorite part of the trip, but its OK. I actually think they're pretty good travellers. We're going to Europe again this summer, and I think it might actually be harder now that they're almost 3 and almost 5 -- but we'll see.

If your 1 year old is on a strict strict schedule -- (e.g., always naps from 10-11, and 2-3; has dinner at 5 on the dot, bath at 6, and bedtime at 7:30), I think you're setting yourself up for a nightmare. So I think generally kids with a bit more flexible day to day schedules will do better having the schedule shot to hell.

But frankly, I kind of expect that my flight will be exhausting. Travelling is tiring, and its worse with kids. So we just make sure to take an easy day the day after we arrive, and the day after we return. Long flights East I think are easier than West, because you can take an evening flight, and the kids will sleep at least some. Long flights West are harder, (IMO) because the kids are up and active. We walk around the cabin a lot, and I always take a few new coloring books, etc. But really they've been very good. And, like anything, I think good travellers are made, not born. Kids who go on 9 hour car rides every summer (that sounds miserable to me!) get used to it, because their parents put them in the car and off then go.

I'm not dismissing the nightmare stories... there are kids who, for whatever reason (ears, fear, etc.) just are awful on the plane. All you can do is wait it out.

But, my advice? Have low expectations. Run the kids around silly in the airport before they get on the plane. Bring a few bribes, and don't sweat it. A few minor episodes are pretty common at this age, and frankly the rest of the passengers can suck it up.

[Anonymous]

My last flight was only as far as Chicago and it was horrible! He screamed, tried to get out of his seat, crawled on the stranger next to him. People turned to look, I was so embarrassed. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I was - all business travelers, I was the only person with a child. Nothing worked, he wanted to get out of the seat and walk around and we were on final approach. I am done for another year until child is 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
But, my advice? Have low expectations. Run the kids around silly in the airport before they get on the plane. Bring a few bribes, and don't sweat it. A few minor episodes are pretty common at this age, and frankly the rest of the passengers can suck it up.

Couldn't agree more. I truly believed that since Dh and I are experienced, and relaxed travelers, it helps keep us all from getting to tense and stressed out, particularly when traveling with toddler twins. I also think the more you travel by car or plane, the easier it gets, at least in our experience. We have a 6am flight out of Dulles in a couple weeks and the kiddos will be on our laps. We know we will all be tired and cranky, but try to look at the bright side, that taking a crazy early flight will make the time zone change easier. Yes, travel is much more complicated with kids, but not impossible. For us, it's a price we're willing to pay because we are not stay at home types.

[Anonymous]

OP -- Did you buy a seat for your child? That made all the difference for us. DD was terrible as a lap child, but when we sprung for her own seat she was fine. Maybe something about being strapped into her car seat helped. Also- we buy those big sticker books for her to play with - that seems to keep her pretty entertained. The TV also helped - she watched a good part of an in flight kids movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But, my advice? Have low expectations. Run the kids around silly in the airport before they get on the plane. Bring a few bribes, and don't sweat it. A few minor episodes are pretty common at this age, and frankly the rest of the passengers can suck it up.

Good advice. And yes, get a seat and use the Kids/Cares system (google this). Greatest thing since sliced bread. Also travel as light as possible - Ergo for a toddler, bring only a few things, and buy snacks at the airport. Then run them around, there's usually space somewhere.

Also keep telling them every day in advance, for a week or 2 what's going to happen. They might not completely understand, if at all, but it's still a head's up.

And yes, there will be nightmare stories; kids have been known to melt down. But it would seem that a lot of the anxiety and dreading and so forth is due to the parent getting really worked up over it. Language skills or not, kids will glom on to this, and their little antaenna will pick it up every time. Which is why the expectations advice is so good. The less you think about it and build up this huge thundercloud of dread, the more relaxed everyone is going to be, even if and when something happens. After building said thundercloud, when a meltdown does come, a downpour will surely follow.

Play with the payphones (germs notwithstanding), explain Bernoulli's principle, look at the airplanes, watch the people; there are usually always other kids around, too, with parents in the same situation. Leverage this.

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[Anonymous]

With all due respect to the few posters above who suggest...just run them around, change your flight times so you know they'll at least sleep some, expect it will be exhausting, buy them their own seat, have them watch a movie, bribe them, etc. etc., take it from someone who has TRIED IT ALL when I say you are the lucky ones who have a child(ren) who, while might be even very high maintenance, are at least tolerable to fly with. I'm envious. Take a few flights with my son (trying all that) when he was a bit younger and then see if you would have been up for hopping on a plane to Europe, Hawaii or North Carolina with him. My favorite was the time when after more than an hour of glaring stares from fellow passengers I starting getting the questions, "Is he okay? Is he sick? Did you by chance bring any new toys you could try to give him?" As one of the PPs acknowledged, some kids indeed are just truly nightmares to fly with. We called ours Demon Child on a Plane from 10 months to age three. Now put him in a car for a very long road trip for a week - which we have done - and we are golden.

[Anonymous]

Low expectations really are key. If you keep them low enough, you may find your child really exceeds them. We have been very lucky so far in travelling with DS. Took a transatlantic flight with him by myself when he was 3 months and for all my stressing out before, it turned out to be a breeze. He slept most of the time. The hardest part was lugging his car seat around the airport because they kept changing my gate. I didn't get him a seat, but the airline provided a bassinet in the bulkhead for him. We just took another international trip a few weeks ago right before his first bday and that worked out well too. Again, we didn't buy him a seat and the first leg he sat on our laps no problem, the second leg we managed to get an empty seat between us. I was worried about having a layover this last trip but it was actually good because it gave him a chance to expend his energy outside of the plane. I have always enjoyed travelling and tried to get out of the country at least twice a year. I can't imagine giving that up, and whatever the costs of flying, I feel like the benefits for us and for DS of being away for a while are greater.