6th Gr DS on "Weird" MS Girls

[Anonymous]

DS shared with me two incidents of "weird" girl behavior at school: 1) he saw one girl drew a stick figure with a giant penis on a note pad, and the girl told him another girl (her BBF) did it too; and 2) while he's sitting at his desk a girl out of the blue told him to close his legs (he's wearing pants that day). I told him they have issues and keep distance, but I think this is NOT normal at all for 12/13 yos and is toxic for boy-girl relationship. What else do I do? Thx!

[Anonymous]

On the contrary... I think this is perfectly normal and natural. Kids this age are curious and embarrassed and fascinated and grossed out by sex, often at the same time. Unless one or more of these girls does this kind of thing constantly (seems obsessed with penis doodles for days on end, constantly comments on boy's anatomy, etc), I don't think it's anything to worry about.

Obviously if it makes your son uncomfortable, even as a one-off, I do think you should mention it to the teacher(s) and ask them to remind children that drawings of genitals or comments on people's anatomy are not appropriate in school! (Unless it's in the context of science class etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS shared with me two incidents of "weird" girl behavior at school: 1) he saw one girl drew a stick figure with a giant penis on a note pad, and the girl told him another girl (her BBF) did it too; and 2) while he's sitting at his desk a girl out of the blue told him to close his legs (he's wearing pants that day). I told him they have issues and keep distance, but I think this is NOT normal at all for 12/13 yos and is toxic for boy-girl relationship. What else do I do? Thx!

Age appropriate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS shared with me two incidents of "weird" girl behavior at school: 1) he saw one girl drew a stick figure with a giant penis on a note pad, and the girl told him another girl (her BBF) did it too; and 2) while he's sitting at his desk a girl out of the blue told him to close his legs (he's wearing pants that day). I told him they have issues and keep distance, but I think this is NOT normal at all for 12/13 yos and is toxic for boy-girl relationship. What else do I do? Thx!

Age appropriate

I think it's very typical for a few girls and boys at this age to be doing this and some peers will be interested in joining in but since he's not telling him to keep his distance was good advice. If that's not enough he can tell them to knock it off. A word with the teacher or guidance counselor if it's escalating or continuing despite it being clear he's not interested.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. Next time just says "Wow, what did you think when they showed you that/said that?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS shared with me two incidents of "weird" girl behavior at school: 1) he saw one girl drew a stick figure with a giant penis on a note pad, and the girl told him another girl (her BBF) did it too; and 2) while he's sitting at his desk a girl out of the blue told him to close his legs (he's wearing pants that day). I told him they have issues and keep distance, but I think this is NOT normal at all for 12/13 yos and is toxic for boy-girl relationship. What else do I do? Thx!

Maybe he was manspreading and blocking the aisle or encroaching on her space.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing to do, OP. Can you imagine how embarrassing if Mom came in to make a big fuss over these girls? Then your son really would get picked on. Your son is not five, let him handle his own battles. He can walk away and tell a teacher but do not get directly involved.

[Anonymous]

sounds totally normal.

[Anonymous]

ok, i guess i wasn't normal coz i wasn't like that when i was in 6 gr and don't remember my friends were either.

[Anonymous]

Drawing big penises on things has been going on forever. Just check out some cave art! Really, it is totally normal.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the doodling, in and of itself, is not a big deal. However, I wonder if those of you responding would be quite so relaxed about the situation if it was a boy drawing female anatomy and saying things like, "Close your legs," to a girl. Somehow I think there's a major double-standard at play here. If a boy were the one doing this, there would be a pages-long debate, accusing him of horrible intentions, being some kind of deviant, and insisting he be punished, reprimanded, you name it.

Why is it perfectly "normal" for a girl to behave like this, but a boy would be vilified if caught doing the exact same things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the doodling, in and of itself, is not a big deal. However, I wonder if those of you responding would be quite so relaxed about the situation if it was a boy drawing female anatomy and saying things like, "Close your legs," to a girl. Somehow I think there's a major double-standard at play here. If a boy were the one doing this, there would be a pages-long debate, accusing him of horrible intentions, being some kind of deviant, and insisting he be punished, reprimanded, you name it.

Why is it perfectly "normal" for a girl to behave like this, but a boy would be vilified if caught doing the exact same things?

I don't think a boy WOULD get in trouble for drawing a giant penis. The teacher might take away the picture, but anyone who has any business teaching middle school knows that the embarrassment of having an adult see it is worse than getting in trouble.

As for the "close your legs," I'm confident that PP is right. Your son was sitting with his legs wide open, blocking the aisle.

[Anonymous]

Take a sixth grade girl to an art museum. You will realize it is normal. (Girls tend to be 1-2 years ahead of boys in puberty, so bring a 7th grade boy to the same museum...)

[Anonymous]

OP, you've never been a camp counselor or babysitter, have you? This stuff starts at the tweens, and my eight year old (boy) loves to scream "penis" to get a laugh or get my goat.

[Anonymous]

Now that I have two boys in middle school I find this behavior completely normal. It also appears to me that the girls are more provocative than the boys at the 6th grade level. I'm not try to slut-shame or anything like that, it's just that the girls are more aware of sexuality at that age than boys are. I think by the time they are in 8th grade boys and girls are equally drawing penises on pretty much everything.