I'm pretty sure I'm gay

[Anonymous]

I've always thought of myself as bi, but I think I've been fooling myself this whole time.

Now I'm married and have kids and I absolutely love my family. But I'm so gay.

[Anonymous]

You aren't the only one. What would you be happy with, though? Is it worth leaving your family? Open relationship? Is just admitting it enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't the only one. What would you be happy with, though? Is it worth leaving your family? Open relationship? Is just admitting it enough?

I'm not sure. I don't think I know the answer to any of your questions. I guess admitting it to myself is already overwhelming enough right now. I don't know what to do with this information just yet.

[Anonymous]

OP again, just realized I didn't mention I'm a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't the only one. What would you be happy with, though? Is it worth leaving your family? Open relationship? Is just admitting it enough?

I'm not sure. I don't think I know the answer to any of your questions. I guess admitting it to myself is already overwhelming enough right now. I don't know what to do with this information just yet.

Did your husband know you were bisexual or did he not have any idea at all? A good LGBT counselor might be able to help you sort it out. I'm sorry, OP. I've been in a similar situation and I know it is tough and overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't the only one. What would you be happy with, though? Is it worth leaving your family? Open relationship? Is just admitting it enough?

I'm not sure. I don't think I know the answer to any of your questions. I guess admitting it to myself is already overwhelming enough right now. I don't know what to do with this information just yet.

Did your husband know you were bisexual or did he not have any idea at all? A good LGBT counselor might be able to help you sort it out. I'm sorry, OP. I've been in a similar situation and I know it is tough and overwhelming.

Yes, he knows. I had relationships with girls before I met him and I haven't kept any of it a secret.

[Anonymous]

OP,

What events led to your realization? How have you been dealing? I am in the same boat but I've been downplaying it and pretending it isn't happening because I have young kids and I don't want to spoil everything for them. I love DH but clearly am not interested in him as I should be. I wish I could offer some advice.

[Anonymous]

I just realized at 35 that I am gay, I'm a women married to a man (well separated and getting divorced) with 2 small children
After finally coming to this and telling my spouse I feel a huge weight has been lifted, I'm happier than I have been in years. My life is in total chaos but amongst the chaos I am at peace with myself. I have never felt so good
It's a personal choice how you handle this....a friend said to me "sometimes you have to make a leap even if you don't know what will happen when you fall" I feel like my kids will be better off with a happy mother even if it means living in a separate house from their father, we are still friends and will co parent the best we can

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just realized at 35 that I am gay, I'm a women married to a man (well separated and getting divorced) with 2 small children
After finally coming to this and telling my spouse I feel a huge weight has been lifted, I'm happier than I have been in years. My life is in total chaos but amongst the chaos I am at peace with myself. I have never felt so good
It's a personal choice how you handle this....a friend said to me "sometimes you have to make a leap even if you don't know what will happen when you fall" I feel like my kids will be better off with a happy mother even if it means living in a separate house from their father, we are still friends and will co parent the best we can

Just curious...are you really gay, or bisexual? I've always wondered how a "gay" person could marry a person of the opposite sex and be aroused enough to make kids and still be totally gay, unless they were seriously in denial/faking it. Wouldn't a person in this situation most likely be somewhere in the spectrum between gay and straight (i.e. bisexual)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always thought of myself as bi, but I think I've been fooling myself this whole time.

Now I'm married and have kids and I absolutely love my family. But I'm so gay.

Are you more attracted to men or women? When it comes to oral sex which gender do you want to give more to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized at 35 that I am gay, I'm a women married to a man (well separated and getting divorced) with 2 small children
After finally coming to this and telling my spouse I feel a huge weight has been lifted, I'm happier than I have been in years. My life is in total chaos but amongst the chaos I am at peace with myself. I have never felt so good
It's a personal choice how you handle this....a friend said to me "sometimes you have to make a leap even if you don't know what will happen when you fall" I feel like my kids will be better off with a happy mother even if it means living in a separate house from their father, we are still friends and will co parent the best we can

Just curious...are you really gay, or bisexual? I've always wondered how a "gay" person could marry a person of the opposite sex and be aroused enough to make kids and still be totally gay, unless they were seriously in denial/faking it. Wouldn't a person in this situation most likely be somewhere in the spectrum between gay and straight (i.e. bisexual)?

pregnancy doesn't require arousal...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Are you more attracted to men or women? When it comes to oral sex which gender do you want to give more to?

Really? Are you getting off on this or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just realized at 35 that I am gay, I'm a women married to a man (well separated and getting divorced) with 2 small children
After finally coming to this and telling my spouse I feel a huge weight has been lifted, I'm happier than I have been in years. My life is in total chaos but amongst the chaos I am at peace with myself. I have never felt so good
It's a personal choice how you handle this....a friend said to me "sometimes you have to make a leap even if you don't know what will happen when you fall" I feel like my kids will be better off with a happy mother even if it means living in a separate house from their father, we are still friends and will co parent the best we can

I totally disagree. This is very selfish thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized at 35 that I am gay, I'm a women married to a man (well separated and getting divorced) with 2 small children
After finally coming to this and telling my spouse I feel a huge weight has been lifted, I'm happier than I have been in years. My life is in total chaos but amongst the chaos I am at peace with myself. I have never felt so good
It's a personal choice how you handle this....a friend said to me "sometimes you have to make a leap even if you don't know what will happen when you fall" I feel like my kids will be better off with a happy mother even if it means living in a separate house from their father, we are still friends and will co parent the best we can

I totally disagree. This is very selfish thinking.

Why? If she was straight and divorced him for another man it would be the same...So, is divorce always selfish? This isn't the Middle Ages and Ted Cruz has not been elected president... so chill!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just realized at 35 that I am gay, I'm a women married to a man (well separated and getting divorced) with 2 small children
After finally coming to this and telling my spouse I feel a huge weight has been lifted, I'm happier than I have been in years. My life is in total chaos but amongst the chaos I am at peace with myself. I have never felt so good
It's a personal choice how you handle this....a friend said to me "sometimes you have to make a leap even if you don't know what will happen when you fall" I feel like my kids will be better off with a happy mother even if it means living in a separate house from their father, we are still friends and will co parent the best we can

I totally disagree. This is very selfish thinking.

Why? If she was straight and divorced him for another man it would be the same...So, is divorce always selfish? This isn't the Middle Ages and Ted Cruz has not been elected president... so chill!

Np here. Kids don't give a crap if you're "happy". They would rather not absorb the whole lifetime of divorce chaos. They would rather have the parent absorb all the unhappiness and hassle so that they can best set up their lives without tons of chaos and deep wounds.