Please help me.

[Anonymous]

I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I just got dumped, had 4 job rejections, some odd health issues, and family issues. This has been going on for months. I feel it's just one bad thing after another. Maybe it's because I'm young (25) but I don't know how to handle this. I feel like giving up or having a breakdown everyday over it. I just want to be happy but I can't be with all these negative things plaguing my life.

[MikeL]

OP, you've hit a bad stretch right now. It won't last forever. There will be good stretches ahead, just you wait and see.
In the meantime, try to change things up from how you've been doing things. If you don't exercise, start doing some kind of exercise.
The physical activity is good for your mental health.
I wish I could tell you more, but tough times don't last, tough people do.

[Anonymous]

25 is a tough age for a lot of us! We feel like we should have hit all these milestones to be a "grown-up".

When I was 25, I was $70K in debt, living with my grandparents to pay it off, a late bloomer finishing a college degree, working as an admin, broken up with the love of my life, and miserable.

Every job rejection set me on the path to purpose. Doors close to things that are not for you. It is all about how you manage the journey.

Life will never be perfect. But your ability to be resilient is what makes the difference in moving into successful realms.

Now is a great time to consider talking with a counselor, or a career coach, and if medical issues are at play, consider whether depression could be impacting things.

FYI, 10 years later, I realize that every job rejection, failed relationship, medical challenge, and difficulty really did prepare me to better manage greater fortune that I eventually walked in to. I learned how to value my husband, look for meaningfulness in my work, paid off all of my debt, and so many other things.

These are pages of a story. Don't let your circumstance today define who you are.

This is a GREAT video to watch. Oprah's talk to Stanford graduates.

"The truth is, you don't have anything to give, that you don't have. So your job is to keep yourself full."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfLGR0KYuys

Hugs OP!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, reposting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I just got dumped, had 4 job rejections, some odd health issues, and family issues. This has been going on for months. I feel it's just one bad thing after another. Maybe it's because I'm young (25) but I don't know how to handle this. I feel like giving up or having a breakdown everyday over it. I just want to be happy but I can't be with all these negative things plaguing my life.

Welcome to 25! You are an adult. This BS is par for the course. 4 job rejections is nothing. I've applied for hundreds of jobs and not gotten them. That hasn't stopped me from having a good career. My family is nuts. I've learned how to handle it.

If you need help handling this stuff, time to see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Last one!

"There are no mistakes....There is no such as thing as failure really, because failure is just that thing, trying to move you in another direction."

[Anonymous]

Therapy would be good, OP. But what it comes down to is you've got a negative tape loop going in your head, and that just feeds on itself. You really end up believing it. If you can change that, things will get better. Try to focus on the successes, however small, that you have each day.

[Anonymous]

20's was pretty bad for me. Broke; no real social life; dead end job. 30's was better. You are still young. I didn't start dating my DH till I was 30. Great job, started at 30. Now married for 15 yrs with kids. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know. But a lot can change in life. You know what also helped me... I moved. That fresh start and a change in career path was what I needed.

[Anonymous]

You are only 25!

There are plenty of great years ahead of you and this is just a hard time.

I guess it's true, when it rains it POURS. And pours some more.

Life will get better for you. It cannot get much worse right....???!!

And keep this in mind: ------> Somewhere out there, someone else definitely has it much worse than you do.
I promise.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Tough times for sure.

1) It will help you to realize that what is meant to be is meant to be. Spending time ruing past relationships or wishing things had gone differently in a job interview isn't constructive and--after time and perspective comes along--things always happen for a reason. I had a "perfect" job lined up and interviewed twice, knocked myself out with materials and scenarios, and didn't get the job a few years ago. I was very upset. Then my son got sick about 2 months later and I needed to spend a lot of time with him. This boss was like Mr. Lean In and I'm sure he'd have been very upset when I needed to make time for my son's medical appointments and more.

2) It is very important to be grateful for what you have when you have it and grateful for what you have that others don't have. I work with homeless people. Some of these are families with kids and they live in cars. The kids have to go to certain public libraries to use the bathrooms, the moms are terrified they will get tickets or towed, the kids can't make friends because they are afraid to get close to other kids. Maybe you want to start volunteering at a soup kitchen or volunteering for a cause you believe in while you're job hunting? Maybe you want to start a gratitude journal to make yourself aware of what is going right in your life.

3) I don't know if you will find it funny or ring true in any way, but I read on one of the DCUM posts this explanation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/generation-y-unhappy_b_3930620.html

The part that might really be part of your world is that part towards the end, the Facebook Image Crafting. You may be feeling like you can't talk with your friends about rejection because you may be seeing them only bragging. IF this is feeding into your bad feelings, you need to stop doing so much social media, start seeing your friends face to face, so you have more heart to hearts with them. Their lives aren't perfect. Your life isn't perfect. You can help each other and not be consumed by feelings of inadequacy.

Hang in there. You have so much time to realize that things happen for a reason and that you have many many things going for you.

[Anonymous]

This is all good advice. I'll second the part about exercise. I'm 60 with some new issues, and getting outside, walking in the woods, helps me reduce stress and release more creativity for dealing with problems and other things. This isn't just foo foo.

"Stanford study finds walking improves creativity"

https://news.stanford.edu/2014/04/24/walking-vs-sitting-042414/

Bonus: Health improves, easier to manage weight.