When the homeschooled kid stopped nappin, prechool is everyon'e best answer

[Anonymous]

There's a homeschool forum now! I thought I looked for one on the redesign, maybe I missed it!

This is more just a vent for homeschool families with challenging kids who stop napping. I discovered around a year ago that the SAHM answer is preschool. Our naps have been fizzling out for around a year and we're just in some weird in-between for a little longer before the real non-nap routine starts. On other forums, the homeschool answer was that it was a SAHM question and not a homeschool question. Some people try to suggest quiet time, but I have a strong-willed, talkative child who does not listen to anything I say.

I am still struggling with how to come to grips with my commitment to homeschool when not having any break during the day for myself. The day starts moving, the day ends moving. We do lots of fun, active things in an out of the house. I even have a gym with daycare. But, if we're not moving, we're screaming, and if we're not screaming, we're asking for something. This isn't going to change, because there is no preschool or school to go to. This isn't what I imagined when I had a child. We do some structured and a lot of unstructured learning. She is only 4 and way ahead of what is normal, so we sometimes take long breaks in any kind of structured learning because of this non-napping issue.

How have you dealt with the challenge of a demanding child while trying to homeschool?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's called home schooling when they aren't even in K yet.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure but what you are describing sounds like your kid may need to be evaluated possibly.

If you give your child crayons or some sort of art activity, cannot she occupy herself for a little while? Or how about clay to work on fine motor strength? How about moving rice from one container to the next for fine motor as well. Or buttons, zippers, etc as would be found on an activity board? Or puzzles? Or immersion books on kindle? Educational shows or toys? I recall my kid being able to occupy himself for short periods of time while I rested or relaxed nearby with no problems. Cannot your kid occupy themselves?

[Anonymous]

For the immediate short term, I think you're in luck with the summer, as swimming at the pool is sure to tucker the little person out and give you a break from constant talking & moving about - might even get you the occasional nap.

But when the summer ends, I think you still have a lot to consider when it comes to homeschooling a child who "does not listen to anything" you say. If that dynamic continues, you may want to explore alternatives - often children are more obedient when in a group setting and when faced with some one in the exclusive role of "teacher." I know that's not what you've envisioned, but there are cooperative preschools & kindergartens where you can be very involved. There are also home school co-ops. If you want to be the only teacher in your child's life, then it may be time to reassess whether your parenting approach is getting you the results necessary to make that work for your child & your sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's called home schooling when they aren't even in K yet.

This. Hire a bsbysitter or mother's helper to give you some relief. Still much cheaper than preschool.

[Anonymous]

Are you homeschooling an onlder child or is the 4 yo your oldest?

[Anonymous]

If your child doesn't listen to you you may not be a good candidate for home schooling.

[Anonymous]

That's tutoring, not homeschooling. Given this "I have a strong-willed, talkative child who does not listen to anything I say." You need to change your parenting style and consider if homeschooling is best for your child or is it best for you. Or, find a way to integrate the child into your activities.

[Anonymous]

I have a 6 year old, 4 year old, and I have a newborn. I am homeschooling the preschooler and first grader. It is tough, and there are no breaks. But, I do send the preschooler to preschool for two mornings a week, so she can get that socialization. If you have no other children, it's even more important that she get that playtime in with other kids. So, I agree that a bit of preschool can be greatly complementary to the homeschool experience.
You need to get the screaming under control, especially if you think you may have more children. You don't need a whole straight 2-3 hours of instruction once you start really homeschooling her. But you do need to get her to the point where she will listen fully for 10-15 min segments throughout the day, as well as work independently for those little chunks of time.
Some tips:
1. Keep the teaching chunks short. Start with a little song. I do a quick little rhyming song about learning that I made up and it's my signal to the kids to come to the table for "school time"
2. Keep school materials away from her at this age. We have a special school some box with school crayons, pencils, glue, and scissors. They are different from her regular play crafts. They are for school time only.
3. TV/DVDs - A little Curious George won't hurt, or better yet a language learning collection. Daily 30 minutes for you to sit down and relax. Everyone needs quiet time!
4. is your husband on board with you doing this? I don't get cooking/cleaning done during the day. He plays with the kids so I can get those things done in the evening and on weekends.

[Anonymous]

If your child doesn't listen to anything you say homeschooling is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

I think maybe one of the reasons you are having so many battles is because you are mistaking her intelligence and intellectual ability with her ability to be "schooled". Your post is kind of unclear, which is understandable if you're frazzled and exhausted, but if you are having tons of struggles and difficulties with a 4 year old, the answer is probably: more outdoor time, more free and unstructured time, more time spent together just cuddling and playing and doing what SHE wants to do, and less time trying to teach her or make her do what you want.

We should have expectations of 4 year old behavior, but this is the time to be building a foundation, to be building a RELATIONSHIP with her so that she will want to please you and enjoy learning. Before you can teach, you must build a mutually respectful, pleasurable relationship with young kids. This is true whether you are a homeschool parent or an early elementary teacher-- kids are going to be defiant and close their minds to learning if the relationship is lacking.

For every minute that you expect a 4 year old to sit and work on "school", that is one less minute of patience she will have for other things-- for sitting quietly and eating her dinner, for waiting patiently while you talk on the phone before interrupting. For staying in her room for quiet time.

If you are serious about wanting to homeschool, the most important thing is maintaining your relationship with your child. If you are not going to homeschool, the most important thing is maintaining your relationship with your child! And the singular most important thing for your 4 year old (and 5 year old! and 6 year old!) is that is socialized properly in our culture. I don't mean she has to be out socializing with kids every day. I mean it's your job to model and teach respectful communication, manners, delayed gratification, patience, kindness, and so forth. This is the job of all parents, whether or not we homeschool.

It is easy to be wowed by how much young kids CAN learn and memorize...they're amazing. I do it too. But whenever I find myself locked in struggles with my kindergartener, I know it's time to take a step back and forget the "schooling" aspect of things for awhile and work on our relationship and on these social values. We come away refreshed and ready to learn again. As for my preschooler: a preschooler should not have seatwork unless she asks. You can make EVERYTHING fun at this age, and isn't the reason we homeschool generally because we want to instill in our children a great love of learning, the pleasure of curiosity, and to nurture our relationships?

Good luck! Sending a kid to preschool isn't the end of the world, by the way, and it sounds like you need a break to recharge. Many homeschoolers also send their kids to school when they find themselves locked in constant struggles-- sometimes just taking the stress over having to teach our children the academic stuff makes it easier to repair our relationships with them.

[Anonymous]

Have rest time for your kid. They watch an hour of tv or play on the iPad or something. A four year old should be able to handle that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think maybe one of the reasons you are having so many battles is because you are mistaking her intelligence and intellectual ability with her ability to be "schooled". Your post is kind of unclear, which is understandable if you're frazzled and exhausted, but if you are having tons of struggles and difficulties with a 4 year old, the answer is probably: more outdoor time, more free and unstructured time, more time spent together just cuddling and playing and doing what SHE wants to do, and less time trying to teach her or make her do what you want.

This. A million times over.

[Anonymous]

At 4, it is not really homeschooling. Or it should not be some hard core learning environment. 4 year old's do not need lessons, learning can take place throughout the day through play and games.

I am homeschooling my 7 year old for the first time this year. I get breaks when he is reading or playing on his own. 4 year old's can't do that for long. By actual school age, she should be able to be more independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's called home schooling when they aren't even in K yet.

This. Hire a bsbysitter or mother's helper to give you some relief. Still much cheaper than preschool.

Agree!