Reply to When the homeschooled kid stopped nappin, prechool is everyon'e best answer

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[quote=Anonymous]I think maybe one of the reasons you are having so many battles is because you are mistaking her intelligence and intellectual ability with her ability to be "schooled". Your post is kind of unclear, which is understandable if you're frazzled and exhausted, but if you are having tons of struggles and difficulties with a 4 year old, the answer is probably: more outdoor time, more free and unstructured time, more time spent together just cuddling and playing and doing what SHE wants to do, and less time trying to teach her or make her do what you want.

We should have expectations of 4 year old behavior, but this is the time to be building a foundation, to be building a RELATIONSHIP with her so that she will want to please you and enjoy learning. Before you can teach, you must build a mutually respectful, pleasurable relationship with young kids. This is true whether you are a homeschool parent or an early elementary teacher-- kids are going to be defiant and close their minds to learning if the relationship is lacking.

For every minute that you expect a 4 year old to sit and work on "school", that is one less minute of patience she will have for other things-- for sitting quietly and eating her dinner, for waiting patiently while you talk on the phone before interrupting. For staying in her room for quiet time.

If you are serious about wanting to homeschool, the most important thing is maintaining your relationship with your child. If you are not going to homeschool, the most important thing is maintaining your relationship with your child! And the singular most important thing for your 4 year old (and 5 year old! and 6 year old!) is that is socialized properly in our culture. I don't mean she has to be out socializing with kids every day. I mean it's your job to model and teach respectful communication, manners, delayed gratification, patience, kindness, and so forth. This is the job of all parents, whether or not we homeschool.

It is easy to be wowed by how much young kids CAN learn and memorize...they're amazing. I do it too. But whenever I find myself locked in struggles with my kindergartener, I know it's time to take a step back and forget the "schooling" aspect of things for awhile and work on our relationship and on these social values. We come away refreshed and ready to learn again. As for my preschooler: a preschooler should not have seatwork unless she asks. You can make EVERYTHING fun at this age, and isn't the reason we homeschool generally because we want to instill in our children a great love of learning, the pleasure of curiosity, and to nurture our relationships?

Good luck! Sending a kid to preschool isn't the end of the world, by the way, and it sounds like you need a break to recharge. Many homeschoolers also send their kids to school when they find themselves locked in constant struggles-- sometimes just taking the stress over having to teach our children the academic stuff makes it easier to repair our relationships with them.[/quote]

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