Kid refuses strep test
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Anonymous
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WWYD?
8 year old at doctor with a sore throat. All indications are she needs a strep test. They need to swab her throat. My child HATES the throat swab and refused to cooperate. REFUSED. Clamped her mouth shut. I'm all for my kids being masters of their own bodies but, at what point as a parent do you force them to do something like this? |
Anonymous
| You use bribery. |
Anonymous
| I would force it. Untreated strep is serious and you can't given her an antibiotic if you don't know that it is bacterial. |
Anonymous
| If you think its strep, you force it. I can't do them very well either. If not, wait a few days and see if it will go away. |
Anonymous
| Who were the adults in the room? Seriously... |
Anonymous
| You WILL do this or you will end up sleeping in the hospital by yourself. |
Anonymous
So you aren't able to force, right? What are you going to do, sedate them or tie them down and somehow pry their jaws open? No. Not worth it, even if possible. We are talking strep here, not Ebola. You can presumptively treat, or chose not to and kid can weather it without antibiotics. The other option, of course, is not to force but coerce. Bribery, threats, guilt tripping, the whole parental toolkit of coercion techniques.  I assume, of course, that calm discussion of pros and cons and antibiotic resistance etc. was tried and didn't work!
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Anonymous
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I think if your eight year old is "refusing" to comply with something you have asked him to do, you need serious parenting help. My youngest hates strep tests. He would rather get an IV. He tried to negotiate that when he was ten and had strep. In the end, when the doctor said "open your mouth" he did it. He wasn't happy. But he knows better than to disobey.
OP, my kids are grown except for one high schooloer left at home. You are in for some difficult years if you can't make an eight year old obey. |
Anonymous
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Okay but how do you force it if the child is literally clamping their mouth shut and deciding that the swab was not going in their mouth? Physically hold their jaw open?
Sounds like a massive power struggle that might not even work, would probably just make the situation worse, and would ultimately teach the opposite of the bodily autonomy that I really think kids need to learn. I would try a logical approach, and if the kid still doesn't agree fine, wait a few days... if she gets sicker she'll probably agree to the test to start feeling better and if she starts feeling better without the meds she ultimately didn't need them. Reason with her to show her how to make medical decisions: "I know the strep test is uncomfortable and you don't like it, but the doctor can only give you medicine to make you feel better once we have this test so we know what you have. The throat swab will suck for a minute or so, but if it is strep then the antibiotics you get will make sure you don't get sicker and will help you start feeling better pretty quickly. Being sick is no fun; you basically have two options: this annoying test that will be uncomfortable but for a short time, or feeling sick like this for a long time and possibly even getting sicker because we don't know what you have and can't give you the right medicine. What do you think would be best to do?" My 4 year old can usually be persuaded with similar logic, albeit in a shorter and more simplified explanation, and if not, there's value to learning to make one's own decisions. |
Anonymous
| No hate on you OP. My kids hate strep tests - HATE. I still wrap my arms around the 7yo so he can't fight off the swab. I'm hardly the most authoritarian mom, but my kids understand that the doctor / nurse is the one in charge so they will go along even unwillingly. Fwiw I use the swab threat as a sort of test to see how sick they feel - if they say they can't go to school bc of a sore throat, they have to be willing to be examined by a doctor and probably get a strep test. |
Anonymous
| "This test if for your health and will last 2 seconds at the most. If you don't cooperate you will lose X privilege for 2 weeks. Would you rather have a 2 second test or no X for 2 weeks?" In a dead serious tone. |
Anonymous
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Yes, you physically squeeze her jaw open. Tell her she can either throw a huge fit and make a scene and waste a half hour having a temper tantrum, or she can sit in your lap and get it done and over with in three seconds, and after that she can have a lollipop - it's her decision. But either way, she's getting a throat culture.
Untreated strep can lead to heart infections. |
Anonymous
| I think everyone here is overreacting. I never got this test as a kid bc like the OP I'd push the dr away. No amount of bribing worked. My gag reflex was s d still is horrible and I have severe anxiety when it comes to vomit. Dr gave me meds and sent me on my way after many failed attempts. Just get the meds |
Anonymous
Serious question: What if she chooses the loss of a privilege because she hates the throat swab that much? I was that kid and would absolutely have done so if given that choice. |
Anonymous
| My dd absolutely hates it too, but the dr or nurse can usually get her to comply. If not, then you have to bring out the big guns and bribe or force. I have literally spent $25 on a toy to get my kid to comply in the past. This was with a food allergy challenge. Trying to get through 2 or 3 hours of eating sesame seeds, and I finally said, hey if you complete this challenge, I will buy that $25 swimming doll that you wanted so badly. That worked when I was running out of any other good ideas. |