Disrespect in Middle Schools

[Anonymous]

We are new to the Bethesda area. We've been here about 3 months and come from a school system that is similarly ranked with a similar socio-economic and racial make-up. My kids can't stop talking about how rude students are to the teachers (tone of voice, eye-rolling, disregarding what they say). This is not our first go-round with middle-school - so it isn't as if I am totally naive about this age group. Our dinners are full or recaps what kids did/said that day -- and about the amount of cursing.

What's up? More importantly, is this being addressed? What can I do about it? It most definitely gets in the way of learning and I can't help but think it also influences the way students treat each other?

[Anonymous]

Where is this earthly paradise you moved from, where middle-schoolers all do what the teachers ask and never curse at school?

[Anonymous]

My son has come home with similar stories, except at the elementary school level. I grew up old school--my mom would have slapped me if she knew I talked to teachers disrespectfully and the teacher (nun) would have hit me with a ruler. I made it clear to my son that our family does not condone such behavior. That is what spoiled brats do, not good kids that respect their elders. My child is very motivated by not being perceived as a bad kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is this earthly paradise you moved from, where middle-schoolers all do what the teachers ask and never curse at school?

Not OP: it's not the cursing or not listening to the teacher that is the problem. Yes, kids curse, but the difference from the past is that we had enough sense not to do it in front of adults or openly roll our eyes, etc. to adults. At least that was my experience. Yes, there were kids that did, but they were few and considered the bad kids. I think the behavior is much more prevalent now. I'm surprised at how parents let their kids talk to them.

[Anonymous]

Where did you specifically come from and which MS in Bethesda?

"similar socio-economic and racial make-up" only says so much.

For example, from the outside, you might think that Wood MS (Rockville HS) Tilden MS (Walter Johnson HS) and West MS (Richard Montgomery HS)
are similar but I think you will hear a very different opinion here on DCUM.

The other conversation that came up in our house as our kids went through middle school was the HUGE differences between the overwhelmed 6th
graders. The well balanced 7th graders and the know-it-all 8th graders. To some extent, it seemed the teachers also felt the differences between grades.

[Anonymous]

MCPS is a huge school system that does not implement its own policies very well, and each school has some flexibility in how they want to operate. In addition to that rather fragile base, there is a synergy to every classroom, and rudeness might be much worse one year compared to the next.

I visited Westland and North Bethesda MS, and the kids appeared reasonably calm, more so at North Bethesda where they were very well-behaved indeed - however I did not visit every single classroom, so there might be outliers.

[Anonymous]

I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

[Anonymous]

It's because there's basically no discipline system anymore. The code of conduct is laughable. So they know that there won't be consequences for their actions so they push the boundaries. If a teacher dares to discipline the parent complains to admin and threatens lawsuits. So now this is the status of our schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is this earthly paradise you moved from, where middle-schoolers all do what the teachers ask and never curse at school?

You must be one of the middle schoolers OP is talking about.

[Anonymous]

I once had reason to visit a middle school in one of the wealthier parts of London.

One student told his teacher to "fxxk off or I will fxxk you in the ass"

and I can tell you, I was afraid. I expect the teacher was too.

Eye rolling is easy to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is this earthly paradise you moved from, where middle-schoolers all do what the teachers ask and never curse at school?

You must be one of the middle schoolers OP is talking about.

Why do you say that? I'm not. I do have a kid in middle school, though. And I have my own memories of school at that age.

[Anonymous]

To quote the classic movie "Heathers," I blame it on the MTV video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

You're joking. The kids at my daughter's FARMS school were so much better behaved than the school she was moved to this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is this earthly paradise you moved from, where middle-schoolers all do what the teachers ask and never curse at school?

You must be one of the middle schoolers OP is talking about.

I have the same question. I don't think MCPS middle schoolers are any worse than average. it's the age. But if there is a great Lake Wobegon type place somewhere in a desirable area, I'm very interested to know where.

[Anonymous]

If this is a constant topic at your table, your kids are getting off on these tales and are looking for issues.