Disrespect in Middle Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

My daughter and I are poor, and she might roll her eyes as she turns away from a teacher, but she'd never do it to their face, or curse in front of them or speak rudely to them. I know she now curses when talking with her friends, but she has the decency to say "Oh, sorry!" if she turns and sees a teacher behind her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

My daughter and I are poor, and she might roll her eyes as she turns away from a teacher, but she'd never do it to their face, or curse in front of them or speak rudely to them. I know she now curses when talking with her friends, but she has the decency to say "Oh, sorry!" if she turns and sees a teacher behind her.

+1 I grew up poor, now middle/upper class. This is how I raised. We teach our kids to respect the teachers, even if they don't like or agree with them. We've told them that they would get punished if we hear they've been disrespectful to the teachers. You can disagree with a teacher without being disrespectful.

OP - on DCUM alone you will note that some parents don't think the eye-rolling and back-talking by a kid is a big deal. To them, the kid is "expressing" oneself. That's why you see so much of it in public. It starts in the home. We don't tolerate back talk, ever.

Some parents on here have claimed that respect should be earned not given, even by a teacher. So, that's how the kids treat the teachers... like the teachers have the "earn" their respect. Such crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

You're joking. The kids at my daughter's FARMS school were so much better behaved than the school she was moved to this year.

No I'm not joking I'm actually agreeing with you. In my recent experience the wealthier kids are the less well behaved. Though I still think the popular view on this is the opposite -- that poor kids lack discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

It's just a circle, with the very poor and very wealthy on the opposite ends of the spectrum. They both can lack discipline and structure. They both act out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

My daughter and I are poor, and she might roll her eyes as she turns away from a teacher, but she'd never do it to their face, or curse in front of them or speak rudely to them. I know she now curses when talking with her friends, but she has the decency to say "Oh, sorry!" if she turns and sees a teacher behind her.

+1 I grew up poor, now middle/upper class. This is how I raised. We teach our kids to respect the teachers, even if they don't like or agree with them. We've told them that they would get punished if we hear they've been disrespectful to the teachers. You can disagree with a teacher without being disrespectful.

OP - on DCUM alone you will note that some parents don't think the eye-rolling and back-talking by a kid is a big deal. To them, the kid is "expressing" oneself. That's why you see so much of it in public. It starts in the home. We don't tolerate back talk, ever.

Some parents on here have claimed that respect should be earned not given, even by a teacher. So, that's how the kids treat the teachers... like the teachers have the "earn" their respect. Such crap.

+1

This problem is becoming prevalent in many schools across the country because of these new parenting norms.

[Anonymous]

Kids would never get away with that behavior at our private. The problem is that public schools are afraid to discipline kids because of backlash from parents who also are disrespectful. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids would never get away with that behavior at our private. The problem is that public schools are afraid to discipline kids because of backlash from parents who also are disrespectful. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

From what I have "heard", private school parents can get away with lots of stuff:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/552518.page

Though I agree, apple doesn't fall from the tree, including wealthy parents and their offsprings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have experience at public middle but at private middle, and I am also surprised at the spoiled and sarcastic attitudes. I think it's popular wisdom that the poorer kids act worse, but honestly now I'm not so sure.

You're joking. The kids at my daughter's FARMS school were so much better behaved than the school she was moved to this year.

No I'm not joking I'm actually agreeing with you. In my recent experience the wealthier kids are the less well behaved. Though I still think the popular view on this is the opposite -- that poor kids lack discipline.

In my previous life teaching middle school, I found the poor kids to be better behaved. A parent who has to take personal leave from work or come from home to pick up an unruly child is upset; a parent that has to take off work and put their job in jeopardy to pick up their unruly child is seriously pissed... and usually ready to whoop some ass.

[Anonymous]

Two of my kids have gone thru middle school. Respect is a two way street. I have both heard and witnessed some pretty awful behavior by teachers -- cursing at kids, yelling at kids, denigrating kids, inappropriate discipline, discipline differentiated by race, lack of understanding about why some kids can't comply with demands due to lack of resources at home and misperceiving that as disobedience or insubordination, etc.

I'm not saying the behavior mentioned on the thread is acceptable, but you gotta give respect to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids would never get away with that behavior at our private. The problem is that public schools are afraid to discipline kids because of backlash from parents who also are disrespectful. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

From what I have "heard", private school parents can get away with lots of stuff:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/552518.page

Though I agree, apple doesn't fall from the tree, including wealthy parents and their offsprings.

I am not talking about wealthy vs. non-wealthy. I am talking about my particular small Catholic school where kids are very respectful of their elders. No eye rolling happening there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of my kids have gone thru middle school. Respect is a two way street. I have both heard and witnessed some pretty awful behavior by teachers -- cursing at kids, yelling at kids, denigrating kids, inappropriate discipline, discipline differentiated by race, lack of understanding about why some kids can't comply with demands due to lack of resources at home and misperceiving that as disobedience or insubordination, etc.

I'm not saying the behavior mentioned on the thread is acceptable, but you gotta give respect to get it.

So on day one, the kid should go into class not respecting the teacher, and the teacher has to earn his/her respect? No. The kid walks into class, sits, stays quiet when the teacher is talking, etc.. That is giving the teacher respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am not talking about wealthy vs. non-wealthy. I am talking about my particular small Catholic school where kids are very respectful of their elders. No eye rolling happening there.

Well, not while you're looking.

[Anonymous]

I think this issue is very complicated.
Stop by at Teen forum and you will see that is not single case event...
I have 2 kids in one of MS magnets.
One came crying from being bullied DURING MAGNET CLASS.
Another running around the house like maniac with "I can Weep.." Than my younger child came from elementary school, and mentioned that "Today we had Family Life, and were told that we are big now and can decide what we do. So mom, I am not doing extra math now... Sorry.."
And by the way, if you want to slap your child for "F..k you", you get, "I am calling the police, you are abusing me..."
Same "I am calling the police", if I am forced to clean my room or help around house.
And I get " All my friends do this.." on daily basis.


So what middle class parents suppose to do in such "friendly" environment?
I can't afford private school for 3 kids, I can't homeschool 3 kids and work full time.
Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my kids have gone thru middle school. Respect is a two way street. I have both heard and witnessed some pretty awful behavior by teachers -- cursing at kids, yelling at kids, denigrating kids, inappropriate discipline, discipline differentiated by race, lack of understanding about why some kids can't comply with demands due to lack of resources at home and misperceiving that as disobedience or insubordination, etc.

I'm not saying the behavior mentioned on the thread is acceptable, but you gotta give respect to get it.

So on day one, the kid should go into class not respecting the teacher, and the teacher has to earn his/her respect? No. The kid walks into class, sits, stays quiet when the teacher is talking, etc.. That is giving the teacher respect.

No, it's behaving appropriately in class. One would do this -- and I have done it -- even in a classroom with a teacher for whom one had zero respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this issue is very complicated.
Stop by at Teen forum and you will see that is not single case event...
I have 2 kids in one of MS magnets.
One came crying from being bullied DURING MAGNET CLASS.
Another running around the house like maniac with "I can Weep.." Than my younger child came from elementary school, and mentioned that "Today we had Family Life, and were told that we are big now and can decide what we do. So mom, I am not doing extra math now... Sorry.."
And by the way, if you want to slap your child for "F..k you", you get, "I am calling the police, you are abusing me..."
Same "I am calling the police", if I am forced to clean my room or help around house.
And I get " All my friends do this.." on daily basis.


So what middle class parents suppose to do in such "friendly" environment?
I can't afford private school for 3 kids, I can't homeschool 3 kids and work full time.
Any suggestions?

Parenting classes, pronto.