DCUM Confessions

[Anonymous]

I have been reading Cosmo since I was a late teen. I used to love the Cosmo Confessions section. It was silly and fun. Clearly the audience has changed and the confessions are just lame. I was just reading the most recent issue and one of the confessions was "I burped in science class". How is that interesting?

I thought it might be fun to have our own anonymous confessions section. Let's not get this thrown into the explicit section by being too graphic. Keep it cleanish in honor of the old Cosmo confessions.

I'll start.

Right after I graduated from college I dated a guy who lived in his mother's basement. He was a chemist but was looking to save money since he was also a recent grad. Anyway we typically slept at my place but one night we stayed at his place. After I met his mom we went down to his room to change before going out for the night and ended up having sex. Well when we got back later that night we found his mother had made the bed while we were out. To this day I would be mortified if I ever saw his mom again.

[Anonymous]

I've had affairs with two married men. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had affairs with two married men. No regrets.

To make it 2000s cosmo-worthy you have to tell a cheeky story to go along with it.
Lost panties? thorn in the tush from outdoor fun? You must have a good one PP.

[Anonymous]

I took my moms advice and married someone who was/is more into me than I am into him.

Terrible idea. It's been 4 years and I constantly feel like he deserves better. I tolerate the situation at best.

[Anonymous]

My boss has a bigger combover than Trump. Basically he's bald except for a little section in the back, on the bottom, which grows super long and curly, and he wraps it all around his baldness and then tucks it under in the front. It looks terrible, and any time he's frazzled, his hair looks extra bad. Sometimes one errant curl breaks free and bobs in the wind as he walks. Anyway, he has these two skinny statues that come up a little above my waist. One man, one woman. They used to live on his desk, but now they live on the floor in his office. When I get really angry at him, I wait for him to leave his office and then move the statues. One of these days I'm going to leave a pile of rubber bands on the head of the man statue.

[Anonymous]

A trespasser/peeper at a residential property where I used to work basically got on his knees and begged for me and my boss not to press charges against him or notify his family (wife/kids)

Then he opened up his check book and was prepared to write us a check. The guy is rich. Very rich. He is loaded.

Had we asked him for money he would have paid.

10K. 20K. 30K. He would have given it to us. Easily.

Since my boss has compassion we just told him... "Look man we do not want your money just don't come back here." "Never ever come back here again."

We never saw him again. He never came back. I guess he now does his peeping at another property on the other side of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss has a bigger combover than Trump. Basically he's bald except for a little section in the back, on the bottom, which grows super long and curly, and he wraps it all around his baldness and then tucks it under in the front. It looks terrible, and any time he's frazzled, his hair looks extra bad. Sometimes one errant curl breaks free and bobs in the wind as he walks. Anyway, he has these two skinny statues that come up a little above my waist. One man, one woman. They used to live on his desk, but now they live on the floor in his office. When I get really angry at him, I wait for him to leave his office and then move the statues. One of these days I'm going to leave a pile of rubber bands on the head of the man statue.

Does he ever notice the changes? Are they moved back the next time you go in his office?

[Anonymous]

OP, I used to LOVE Cosmo confessions!

I'm sleeping with a married dude. I do feel bad, but man oh man... His body!!!

[Anonymous]

I was curious to know the school rating in my friend's neighborhood, used her address to look up and found out that the house is sold. She did not mention it when we visited recently.

[Anonymous]

I can't stand all of the acronyms and abbreviations these days. It's like people are learning to abbreviate their speaking too. Pretty soon, we will be behind in our English again with few people knowing how to spell correctly because they don't know the full word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had affairs with two married men. No regrets.

To make it 2000s cosmo-worthy you have to tell a cheeky story to go along with it.
Lost panties? thorn in the tush from outdoor fun? You must have a good one PP.

How about lying naked on the bed while he says goodnight to his wife on the phone? It's okay because she doesn't like having sex with him anyway, and he's soooo hot...

[Anonymous]

When dating DH, I was seeing other men. Well, we got hitched and he got a new job. His boss was dude x's cousin. I was mortified, so I dished in case DH found out at work.

[Anonymous]

Ever learn the 24 hour rule?

It was my own made up rule in college, and beyond.

You go out with boy 1 Friday nite. Spend the night.
You go out with boy 2 Saturday nite. Spend the nite.
But if you had morning sex Saturday, will that be 2 guys same day!? No way. Not with my nifty 24-hour rule. My 24-hour periods start and end at noon, or 2pm or whatever. So, that clears that up. It's 2 distinct days.

[Anonymous]

Aw, jeff, I miss the sexist dominatrix weirdo who posted lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss has a bigger combover than Trump. Basically he's bald except for a little section in the back, on the bottom, which grows super long and curly, and he wraps it all around his baldness and then tucks it under in the front. It looks terrible, and any time he's frazzled, his hair looks extra bad. Sometimes one errant curl breaks free and bobs in the wind as he walks. Anyway, he has these two skinny statues that come up a little above my waist. One man, one woman. They used to live on his desk, but now they live on the floor in his office. When I get really angry at him, I wait for him to leave his office and then move the statues. One of these days I'm going to leave a pile of rubber bands on the head of the man statue.

This is funny!