separation vs. "trial" separation
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Anonymous
| If dh and I are thinking "trial" separation, would we draw up a "separation agreement"? TIA. |
Anonymous
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This is a question for an attorney and hopefully you've consulted with one before any sort of separation!
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Anonymous
| Well, maybe an attorney can help - don't worry, I wouldn't proceed far without one. But there may be people with experience that can answer my question about whether a supposed "trial" separation typically includes a written agreement. .... |
Anonymous
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I live in MD. There is no such thing as a separation agreement in MD. You can have a trial separation without one. However, if you feel like some conditions need to be spelled out, consult with an attorney.
My advice would be to split the bank account and investments in half (or completely freeze them to both of you) before you separate. If you spouse decides to spend down all the assets, there isn't much you can really do. I would approach this a way to protect one another (as opposed to a really aggressive move right out of the gate). If you are still on good terms, try to keep it that way. |
Anonymous
What ? I live in Maryland and we are negotiating one right now. It's an integral part of no fault divorce. If you have kids assets etc you'd be insane to leave your house without one. |
Anonymous
You'd be amazed at how people change after a few months in this situation and someone else comes on the scene |
Anonymous
| Is the separation agreement about the separation, or pre-negotiating what will be in the divorce agreement (i.e., what needs to be avoided in a separation agreement so as not to prejudice the final divorce agreement)? |
Anonymous
| "Trial" is like a "break" in relationships. V trying to soften the language for something that is truly a separation. Euphemism cause more harm than good. |
Anonymous
| It may be that in reality, 11:38, I don't question that. But if both parties consider it a "trial," is there usually something written down? E.g., who pays what, dating, etc.? |
Anonymous
+1 I know nothing about the law, but common sense tells me this: If you ar going to "try" it, don't gloss around it. Protect yourself legally from day 1. Calling it a "trial", while you are thinking it's just a test drive, allows the per party to get other affairs in order without you under the same roof, or sharing a bed, or whatever the requirement is. If it was me, as practical as for the jurisdiction I was in, I would still get an agreement. It's hard to swallow that it is really a separation, but well.. There it is. And now y can have protection. |
Anonymous
I believe the PP meant Legal Separation, not separation agreement. I know we don't have that in VA. |
Anonymous
This. These things are just intended to soften the blow and are IMO cop-outs which cause more damage by keeping the dumpee's hopes for reconciliation alive. While I'm sure some tiny percentage of "trial separations" end in reconciliation, honestly, the second your spouse tells you (or you tell your spouse) you want anything other than moving forward with your marriage, your marriage - your original marriage - is dead and over. You might, as people do after affairs, decide to build a new marriage with that same person, renegotiating the terms/dynamic of the relationship, but it will be a new and different marriage. There is zero legal meaning to "trial separation" in Virginia or Maryland, and the "separation agreement" is really just the common name/euphemism for Property Settlement Agreement, and has nothing to do with some kind of legal rules about how you will behave during your separation - it is all about how you are going to divide up joint assets and liabilities when you are no longer a single legal entity (married). Both Virginia and Maryland have Property Settlement Agreements (aka "Separation Agreements"), and yes, if you have any joint assets or liabilities, you would be a fool to leave the house (ie, separate) before you have such an agreement worked out. This is why they are colloquially known as "separation agreements". The amount of just insanely grossly misinformed information on this site is disturbing...I'm not sure why I come for the parenting suggestions if this kind of cluelessness is indicative of the quality of information. |
Anonymous
| Many a child has been conceived outside the marriage during a separation... |
Anonymous
Yup. One of my friends had a supposed "oops" baby while she was dating someone who was separated. I think it was partially to make sure the divorce went through..... |
Anonymous
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So is a "Legal Separation" per 13:16's distinction a document about the period and terms of being separated (pre-divorce), or is it about the terms of divorce. For example, I can see in a Legal Separation stipulating one party will pay for upkeep of the home, or we will split upkeep of the traditional home. But that might not be what is in a divorce decree. The question, then, is do people write agreements about the separation period - who drives Suzy to school, etc. - or is that seen as spurious? And does whatever might be written into an agreement about the separation period be presumed to carry over to the divorce period?
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