| I have been and truly can be sincere friends with a woman who is not so hot in the looks department. However, I am unable to be the same friend to a woman who is attractive. The sex part always gets in the way. To women and men alike, can you be a true friend to someone you find physically attractive? |
| The sexual tension always gets in the way for me.... |
| No, it's unnatural. |
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Nope. I am an average looking woman and whenever I try to befriend a single guy, he always thinks I want more.
If I was uber beautiful, it would be a lot worse I'd imagine. |
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I'm a "beautiful woman" and I have a number of close male friends. If they think about having sex with me, they've certainly never made that known to me. I think that several of them are quite attractive, but I don't want to sleep with every attractive person I see.
My question is how sex gets in the way of you being friends with someone? Is it the hope that maybe she will want to have sex with you at some point? Are you unable to recognize her positive traits that are not related to her sexual desirability? |
+1 I have lost a few male friends because their wives don't understand that we are just friends. I have many men hit on me ... I don't consider them friends or good people because my friend would not put my marriage in jeopardy for their own selfish needs. They are immediately removed from the friends zone. |
| I'm a woman. 10 years ago my boyfriend's law school friend lived with us for a year. He was gorgeous (as objectively as possible- he had beautiful women throwing themselves at him on a regular basis), highly intelligent, humble, very sweet and very charming. The total package. He made my heart do a little flip on occasion. I got over it and now we're lifelong friends. |
Your behavior around the person is impacted by your desire to slept with them. This obviously not the case with two straight individuals of the same sex. I'm certain all of your male friends are fantasizing about you. |
Well, if they are, their behavior does not indicate that that is what is happening. I don't really care what a person is fantasizing about in their own time. My desire to sleep with my friends is non-existent, so my behavior is pretty much the same regardless. I think your understanding of adult human relationships sounds very limited. I don't know whether that's because you're a teenager or because you are actually limited, but either way, your gender stereotypes are damaging. |
You're not friends with these men. You're merely acquaintances, so it's not a problem for anybody. |
Did you miss the part where she said "a number of close male friends?" |
How am I "not friends" with these men? How are you defining "friends" for the purposes of your question? One of them is someone I work with. We talk about work things. We talk about personal things. We have lunch together sometimes. We save each other seats at meetings. We know each other's spouses. He knows my kid (they don't have any kids yet). One of them is someone I've known for close to 20 years. He came to my wedding. I'm in his wedding later (best man, his sister, one male friend, and me). I stay in his guest room when I go to NYC. My husband has also stayed in that guest room (with me and without me). I know his parents, his siblings, and his friends. How are those people not friends? |
| Men and women can never be real friends...imho |
| Ulterior motives... |
| I'm not sure about the woman, but I know what the man is thinking about. I'm a guy and I do feel women can be friends with a man but the man usually has one thing in mind. If he wants a friend, there are many guys out there or he can get a dog |