Moving on from unrequited love

[Anonymous]

Any tips for speeding the process of getting over unrequited feelings? I've got the hots for a man who is emotionally stunted and could never give me what I would need to be happy, even if (and it's a big if) he wanted to do so. We work together, so I cannot avoid him completely. But I'd love to hear if there is music, therapy, thought practices or anything else that could get me over this crush.

Help me move on!

And yes, to those who will ask, the man and I are both married. We have not crossed any inappropriate lines and I wouldn't have done so even if he were emotionally available. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when a crush ends, though!

[Anonymous]

oh, tell me more, OP. What's going on in your own marriage??

[Anonymous]

only thing to fix this is time. Turn to your husband, you fell in love with him enough to marry him try and find that again. Good thing it was unrequited or you would be in even worst shape.

[Anonymous]

Ha, I just had a dream the night before last about my one who got away. We haven't spoken in years but I think about him all the time. We're both married to other people.

What's the old Charlie Brown quote- nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like the bitter taste of unrequited love? Truth.

I don't think I'll ever get over mine. In my heart of hearts I hope we cross paths again some day.

[Anonymous]

imagine him sitting on the pot with recurring horrible diarrhea and farting up a storm - but he wasn't able exactly to make it to the bathroom in time and has left a mess in his shorts that you now need to clean up.

keep this image emblazoned in your mind and think of it every time you see him.

you're welcome.

[Anonymous]

If you wouldn't act on it why does it matter if it is or isn't requited? Why would it be more painful one way vs. another?

[Anonymous]

I was in love with my old boss. I truly believe I was in love, or maybe infatuation, but it was kind of an obsession. We were friends and spent time together outside of work.

It was painful. I eventually told him when I was drunk. He wouldn't say anything clear other than he couldn't be involved with someone at work. It was painful and humiliating.

We worked together for... Maybe 6 more months, not sure, until I got a new job and moved away.

I got over him by realizing that everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to be with them as much as you do. Otherwise it's not worth it. It took time.

FWIW, we still talk occasionally and met up once after I moved away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:imagine him sitting on the pot with recurring horrible diarrhea and farting up a storm - but he wasn't able exactly to make it to the bathroom in time and has left a mess in his shorts that you now need to clean up.

keep this image emblazoned in your mind and think of it every time you see him.

you're welcome.

Beat me to it. Also imagine having to deal with his (ex-)wife at family functions (graduations, weddings, birthday parties) for the rest of your life. That worked for me.

[Anonymous]

No idea, OP. I am almost a year out from my ill fated relationship and I'd say I am about 75% over him. Just takes time.

[Anonymous]

I've struggled with this for a few years. I think you just have to accept it. Make a place for it inside yourself and move on with your life. Love is special and rare. Do you really want it to end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've struggled with this for a few years. I think you just have to accept it. Make a place for it inside yourself and move on with your life. Love is special and rare. Do you really want it to end?

NP here. Getting over it is the best thing, but never getting over it feels so good.

[Anonymous]

Very similar story here. In my case, it was more of a full blown emotional affair, although she would never admit to that. I "broke up" with her last summer, and for a LONG while, I would think about her multiple times per day. Man did that totally suck! Now, after 9 months, I probably still have imaginary conversations in my head with her a couple times per week.

At this rate, it could be a few years before I am fully "over" her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any tips for speeding the process of getting over unrequited feelings? I've got the hots for a man who is emotionally stunted and could never give me what I would need to be happy, even if (and it's a big if) he wanted to do so. We work together, so I cannot avoid him completely. But I'd love to hear if there is music, therapy, thought practices or anything else that could get me over this crush.

Help me move on!

And yes, to those who will ask, the man and I are both married. We have not crossed any inappropriate lines and I wouldn't have done so even if he were emotionally available. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when a crush ends, though!

You sound young and immature. Focus on important things like your kids, hobbies, spouse, and life. I will bet this guy wasn't anything to lose sleep over to begin with. Hence fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you wouldn't act on it why does it matter if it is or isn't requited? Why would it be more painful one way vs. another?

^+1

I'm not grasping the issue at all. It's,an unrequited crush, because he can't give you what you want, yet you're both married and you wouldn't do anything inappropriate anyway, even if he were available? I'm not getting it. Did you have a mutual flirtation, which he ended? Dont know what "when a crush ends" means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any tips for speeding the process of getting over unrequited feelings? I've got the hots for a man who is emotionally stunted and could never give me what I would need to be happy, even if (and it's a big if) he wanted to do so. We work together, so I cannot avoid him completely. But I'd love to hear if there is music, therapy, thought practices or anything else that could get me over this crush.

Help me move on!

And yes, to those who will ask, the man and I are both married. We have not crossed any inappropriate lines and I wouldn't have done so even if he were emotionally available. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when a crush ends, though!

[/b]You sound young and immature[b]. Focus on important things like your kids, hobbies, spouse, and life. I will bet this guy wasn't anything to lose sleep over to begin with. Hence fantasy.

OH MY GOODNESS! you are an asshole! You know nothing about her or her feelings. Does your day feel better for trying to belittle someone hurting on an anonymous forum?!