Clueless Husband Here - Need advice on how to respond to wife's complaints on appearance

[Anonymous]

My wife is 42. She is beautiful in the conventional sense, and I think she looks great. Over the past few years, she has been pointing out her wrinkles, she says they have gotten worse. This has picked up tremendously over the last few months, to the point where she says she wants to do something about it.

Being candid as we are anonymous - I can see what she is talking about, her wrinkles have become considerably more apparent. I don't care. Let me emphasize that again - I don't care. She looks good for her age, but if we are being honest, she looks her age.

On one hand, I am terrified she would ever have plastic surgery or do something that would make her look like one of those cheesy real housewives - they look like cartoon characters, which is sad because some of them would actually be attractive if they accepted and rocked their age. On the other hand, I am happy to encourage her to do something that would improve her self esteem if she really needs it.

So help me out - is she looking for me to keep repeating "you look great honey, I don't think you need anything, you are being ridiculous!" Or does she want me to say "you look great honey, but if you would feel better getting something for your wrinkles, I support you!"

[Anonymous]

Always safer to stick with the "you are gorgeous just the way you are, honey!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always safer to stick with the "you are gorgeous just the way you are, honey!"

This.

[Anonymous]

Does she have friends who are more obsessed with this stuff?

[Anonymous]

Bang her harder. Pound all the insecurity right out of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always safer to stick with the "you are gorgeous just the way you are, honey!"

This.

+2. It also helps if you give specific examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bang her harder. Pound all the insecurity right out of her.

Hah. That should work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bang her harder. Pound all the insecurity right out of her.

Hah. That should work.

Agree

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds like she wants you to say "I think you look awesome, but if it's really bothering YOU then why don't do get a little botox or something."

[Anonymous]

I think you just say "you really look terrific" as much as possible and if she keeps bringing it up, you tell her that you want her to feel good about herself, so you will support her if she wants to look into things like botox/fillers. I wouldn't even mention plastics. She's too young at 42, anyway. But fillers/botox is not a big deal and can still look natural and not like a cartoon character.

[Anonymous]

A little Botox is fine.

[Anonymous]

Drop "for your age" and "for her age" from your vocabulary.

[Anonymous]

Does she work in a profession where there is strong age discrimination?

[Anonymous]

You are f-ed, my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she work in a profession where there is strong age discrimination?

No, she is a SAHM