A babysitter with an alcoholic for a mom

[Anonymous]

Anyone here grow up with an alcoholic as a parent, or know someone who did? Wondering what that does to your emotional health. And well, if it impairs your ability to care for children.
I am thinking of hiring this high school student who lives in our block. But I'm 80% sure the mom is an alcoholic. Bad idea?

[Anonymous]

Judge the kid on her owns merits, not based on how much her mom drinks. How well do you know this girl? Has she babysat for other families you know & do they have good things to say? Does she seen reponsible? Is she good with your kids?

[Anonymous]

Sadly, this girl might be even more responsible than her peers without alcoholic parents. That legacy causes people to adapt in different ways. Judge her based on who she is and how she performs.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ask her to babysit while you at home, so you can see how well she does her job. Definitely make the rules clear that nobody else should be coming to your house while she's babysitting, to make sure that her mom won't cause disturbance.

[Anonymous]

This question is crazy to me but I am going to answer because I grew up with an alcoholic father and babysat throughout high school. His alcoholism effected me in many ways, but not in my ability to care for children. I personally loved the opportunity to get out of the house and make money.

1) you don't know/have proof if her mother is an alcholic.
2) why does it even matter (judging her before she has even babysat your kid is ridiculous)
3) give her a chance- it may end up being a wonderful relationship for your kids, for her, and maybe even you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, this girl might be even more responsible than her peers without alcoholic parents. That legacy causes people to adapt in different ways. Judge her based on who she is and how she performs.

This. Sadly.

[Anonymous]

Honestly maybe you personally should not hire her unless you can set aside your reservations about her based solely on her mother's possible alcoholism aside from day one. Children of alcoholics have enough to deal with without being held accountable for their parent's behavior-she likely feels responsible for and embarrassed by it enough already and if you're going to scrutinize her in a way you wouldn't other new teen babysitters she may pick up on it.

[Anonymous]

My mother is an alcoholic. I spent more time in the care of my grandparents growing up until I was 13. I was, by far, the most responsible kid/preteen/teenager in my neighborhood. I was everyone's go to babysitter. So no, the fact that her mom may have a substance abuse problem does not make the girl questionable. As many have pointed out, it may in fact make her more responsible. You need to make sure you know and trust her. Take the mom out of it. For me, the fact that all the neighborhood parents trusted me with their kids was a huge confidence builder.

[Anonymous]

The best babysitter in our neighborhood has a mentally ill mother. As others have suggested, it has sadly made her mature beyond her years. Her older sister is another story, but she has no interest in babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, this girl might be even more responsible than her peers without alcoholic parents. That legacy causes people to adapt in different ways. Judge her based on who she is and how she performs.

This was my first thought, too. OP, are you afraid the drunk mother will come over while her daughter is babysitting, or what's your concern exactly?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it matters, unless she is a very young teen and you're expecting her mom to be the "backup."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it matters, unless she is a very young teen and you're expecting her mom to be the "backup."

Well, alcoholism is a disease, but there are all sorts of high functioning alcoholics. They fly planes, drive busses, operate on people, and parent children. Not that it's right but it happens. So even if this girl called her mom for help while babysitting, unless the woman was blacked out, there probably wouldn't be much in terms of a downside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here grow up with an alcoholic as a parent, or know someone who did? Wondering what that does to your emotional health. And well, if it impairs your ability to care for children.
I am thinking of hiring this high school student who lives in our block. But I'm 80% sure the mom is an alcoholic. Bad idea?

You are truly a loathsome person. What happened to judging people on thrirbown merits. You really sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, this girl might be even more responsible than her peers without alcoholic parents. That legacy causes people to adapt in different ways. Judge her based on who she is and how she performs.

This. Sadly.

Agree. My mom is an alcoholic and I was responsible for myself very early on. And I worked with kids because I thought every kid deserved a stable, kind, influence in their lives and I wanted to make myself available to be that person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here grow up with an alcoholic as a parent, or know someone who did? Wondering what that does to your emotional health. And well, if it impairs your ability to care for children.
I am thinking of hiring this high school student who lives in our block. But I'm 80% sure the mom is an alcoholic. Bad idea?

You are truly a loathsome person. What happened to judging people on thrirbown merits. You really sick.

NP. What?? OP is asking because she doesn't know and presumably has the well-being of her children at heart. I think it is YOU who "really sick" if you have such an extreme reaction.