How to handle this un-invitation?

[Anonymous]

My friend has 2 daughters who are 7 and 9, and my DD is 6. My friend invited me over for a girls night (mani/pedis, eyebrow threading) and the other moms will have their kids there because their husbands were traveling. But she told me that since her daughters don't play well with mine, that I shouldn't bring my kid. I'm a single mom, and don't have a lot of money to spend on babysitters. I told her that I would not be able to attend if I couldn't bring DD, but thank you for the invitation (in a very nice way). She got annoyed telling me that the girls night was my idea in the first place (which it was.) I'm not sure what the big deal is, even if the girls don't get along they can tolerate each other for a few hours. Should I stand my ground and stay home, get a babysitter and go, or try another conversation? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

STay home. She knows you're a single mom and that kids were invited. If she disinvited the kids, she can't expect them to stay at home.

[Anonymous]

If kids will be there, your kids should be included.

[Anonymous]

I would stay home

[Anonymous]

Well, I can see everyone's side of this. I hate when kids who don't play well with the group end up over at our house because it really isn't fun for the adults and the purpose of this party is for the adults to have fun. OTOH, when you're a single mom without money for a sitter, it's a sucky thing to do. Despite how I feel, I would never do that to one of my friends. Any possibility of a playdate or sleep over for your daughter with one of her friends?

[Anonymous]

I would try another conversation. But I definitely wouldn't hire a babysitter. It's so rude to tell all the other moms they can bring their kids but to tell you uh no don't bring your kid. Even if it was your idea I'm sure you were under the impression that you could bring your daughter. Try talking to her again, if she still says no and is rude about it I think it's time to dump this friend.

[Anonymous]

I think if she;s reminding you that girls' night was your idea, you can remind her that everyone else's children are part of girls' night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if she;s reminding you that girls' night was your idea, you can remind her that everyone else's children are part of girls' night.

+1 stand your ground, op. Honestly, this woman sounds like a horrible 'friend' (or person).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if she;s reminding you that girls' night was your idea, you can remind her that everyone else's children are part of girls' night.

+1 stand your ground, op. Honestly, this woman sounds like a horrible 'friend' (or person).

+1 Her position is very uncharitable. I think most people would be offended.

[Anonymous]

She's not your friend. This is too weird for words. One thing to stick to "no kids" but to say "no kids but yours?"

I'm a single mom, and I deal with the "no kids" thing just fine. I go and make other arrangements, or decline depending on circumstances. But why are the other coupled women given a pass and special treatment because they have to suck it up and deal with no partner for one event and the person who deals with this crap all the time told "yeah, not your kid"?

Not a nice person.

[Anonymous]

She's not your friend if she cannot make your child comfortable for a few hours in her home. If the other kids are invited, yours should be too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's not your friend. This is too weird for words. One thing to stick to "no kids" but to say "no kids but yours?"

I'm a single mom, and I deal with the "no kids" thing just fine. I go and make other arrangements, or decline depending on circumstances. But why are the other coupled women given a pass and special treatment because they have to suck it up and deal with no partner for one event and the person who deals with this crap all the time told "yeah, not your kid"?

Not a nice person.

+1. That's mean. But if you really like this person, why can't you all go in on a babysitter together and have a true "girls night".

[Anonymous]

Stay home with your child. Next time she brings up the fact that it was your idea say, "Winnie, I know it was my idea and was actually really looking forward to it, but I am a single mom and I cannot leave my child alone to go do something that is also open to children. You are correct that our kids are not best friends and also within your rights as a hostess to not invite my child, but as a mom, I have to take into account my child's feelings too. Your children can exclude my daughter, but I cannot exclude my child. I am sorry but I will have to decline."
"

[Anonymous]

Wait a second, your friend doesn't happen to have a 6 year old neighbor who always comes into her yard and bothers her and her daughter?

What is up with adults who want to protect their children from others when they don't "play well together" today? It's not like these are toddlers who are biting each other. Let them develop some important social skills, for goodness sakes.

[Anonymous]

Your friend has a lot of nerve. I feel this way about some children but I would never say it to their mothers. You should stay home.

And as an aside, you should take a look at your child's behavior and see if she is in need of better social skills, or if the fault is with the other girls. There is one child in my neighborhood I just can't allow over anymore because he is so destructive and vulgar. I assume you would probably know if your child is that bad.