Did I screw up?

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04/08/2016 17:47

Subject: Did I screw up?

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Anonymous

Baby getting baptized in 6 weeks, and 2 sets of grandparents from out of town will come in for the baptism. I want both sets to get time with our kids while they are here, which is frankly very difficult when they are here at the same time, for many reasons including the fact that they don't like each other very much. DH and I have limited vacation time, so we will work through most of the visits and see people in the evenings. My MIL last saw the baby at Thanksgiving, and saw my other kids in February. We all last saw my parents at Christmas. So, I am having my parents come in the week before the baptism to visit, then leave the day after the baptism. I called my MIL and told her she and her husband were invited to come starting Friday before baptism, and then to stay as long as they would like afterwards. I felt this would give everyone a chance to see my kids but only overlap for the weekend (everyone will stay in a hotel to make it "fair"). My MIL called me back and said "well Friday is fair game, right?" I responded that DH and I would be working Friday and the kids would be in their normal care situations, but that by late afternoon we would certainly be ready to host everyone. She asked again about Friday, and I reiterated my response. It was an awkward conversation in which she kept pushing about Friday, and I kept saying yes, Friday night is fine, but I'm working during the day. It was unpleasant enough that the next day I called her again to restate that we would love to have her stay on into the next week. She told me that yes, she had been pushing in hopes that I would invite her to come in Thursday so she could stop by to see the baby Friday during the day, and that it wouldn't work for her to stay on afterwards and she thought everyone would be too tired by then anyway. She also said the reservations were made now, and it was too late to change them. She was clearly very annoyed, and feels slighted that my parents were given the early visit while they were offered the later visit (and she may also be annoyed that she is being invited based on what works for us instead of what works for her, I don't know). I wish she would have just told my (or my DH) precisely what she wanted so I could've figured it out, though she would have arrived at 11am on Thursday, which means I would have been on the hook to entertain both sides of the family for 4 nights, which is precisely what I am trying to avoid doing. I feel guilty and bad that she is disappointed, and I'm not sure if I was unreasonable in what I offered. Did I mess up? She isn't a bad lady, just REALLY difficult to communicate with.