Stupid Question Alert: What does it mean for your child to have/ be under IEP?

[Anonymous]

Okay. I know that I am not wording this question correctly, so please be patient. I posted a few times here but I am very new to the "Kids with Special Needs" world.

My 2 year old DS was just received a medical diagnosis of autism. He has been receiving speech therapy in Loudoun county for about 9 months. Yesterday we had the meeting to determine if he would qualify for IEP. Report says "The Child Study Team suspects the presence of an educational disability." So now I have to have all these evaluations for my child and then I find out if he actually qualifies for the IEP.

Okay here's my question. If I decide right now that I am done with this process and I don't want to follow-through, can my child start school without this secretly following him? Or what if we do this IEP stuff through say 3rd grade, and then I decide I want to stop whatever the IEP provides--will it still be secretly following him all the way through high school? Is there some secret IEP database and no matter where my child goes to school this will follow him in a possibly negative way?

I know this is a really crazy question. I know this is probably the dumbest question ever posted here. I apologize if this question offends anyone but I'm just afraid. I'm afraid about what this diagnosis means for him. I am AA and I'm just concerned about how children can get labeled (especially AA boys). This is just all overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Whether your child has an IEP or not, he still has autism and is at risk for academic or social challenges in school.

In the short term, without an IEP your child will not be eligible to continue receiving speech therapy once he turns 3 (when the school district takes over responsibility for kids with SN from the county).

IEPs ensure a child with disabilities get the right support and education in school. Think ahead -- if he develops behavior problems related to his Autism he will lack the protection of the IEP and could be disciplined in ineffective or inappropriate ways.

IME the benefits outweigh the risk. It will be in his educational file. Every 3 years there will be assessments to determine if he still qualifies for the IEP.

Of course you can avoid all of it by refusing further county services, paying for it all yourself, and choosing a private school.

[Anonymous]

An IEP is a good thing. Under an IEP, you can get additional help and supports for your child. Like my child with ADHD can have math instruction with 6 children with one teacher instead of 30 kids with one teacher. I felt like you when we got our diagnosis as well, but the services that are provided can mean the difference between your child thriving in school or having low self esteem and failing. That was my child before her IEP and medication - she dreaded school, had low self esteem, and couldn't complete the work.

[Anonymous]

OP you aren't crazy - I know you're looking out for your child's best interests.

Under IDEA (the federal law governing special ed) you have the right to decline services - so yes, you can decline the IEP.

However, I think you can expect that school districts will retain records about your child's IEP history and know about it. You do have the right under FERPA to challenge inaccurate items in your child's file, but the fact of an IEP would not be innaccurate.

You are not wrong to think that a history of an IEP and an autism diagnosis will be something that will follow your child around, and possibly be used unfairly. However, if your child really needs the services -- then the positives are going to far outweigh the negatives.

Instead of focusing on the idea of a record following your child, I suggest that you focus on getting him in the schools that best meet his needs, where he is taught by teachers who believe in children's capacity to learn no matter what, with an administration that backs them. THAT is going to be the most important thing for your child, no matter whether he needs services or not.

In other words, you're fighting the same fight for your AA son that you were going to have to fight anyway: to get him in a setting where he is surrounding by an institution that believes in him and brings the best out in him.

Good luck, I don't think you are stupid or crazy at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. I know that I am not wording this question correctly, so please be patient. I posted a few times here but I am very new to the "Kids with Special Needs" world.

My 2 year old DS was just received a medical diagnosis of autism. He has been receiving speech therapy in Loudoun county for about 9 months. Yesterday we had the meeting to determine if he would qualify for IEP. Report says "The Child Study Team suspects the presence of an educational disability." So now I have to have all these evaluations for my child and then I find out if he actually qualifies for the IEP.

Okay here's my question. If I decide right now that I am done with this process and I don't want to follow-through, can my child start school without this secretly following him? Or what if we do this IEP stuff through say 3rd grade, and then I decide I want to stop whatever the IEP provides--will it still be secretly following him all the way through high school? Is there some secret IEP database and no matter where my child goes to school this will follow him in a possibly negative way?

I know this is a really crazy question. I know this is probably the dumbest question ever posted here. I apologize if this question offends anyone but I'm just afraid. I'm afraid about what this diagnosis means for him. I am AA and I'm just concerned about how children can get labeled (especially AA boys). This is just all overwhelming.

It is normal to feel this way. What is important is what you do next. If your child needed glasses, you would not hesitate to provide them. With the autism diagnosis, I would want to gain as much information as possible and would get every test available. The evidence is clear about the positive effects of early intervention. At this stage I would not be concerned about the label, but would work to get my child every available service.

[Anonymous]

An IEP is a written document about your child's goals, therapies and accommodations. It means your child would receive in school services -- speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy -- and accommodations like sitting in the front of the room or having extra time, or having an aide assigned to him.

I recommend at least going through the process, OP. If you decide to reject parts of the IEP as too stigmatizing, that's your right. But the IEP itself shouldn't be stigmatizing.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

hugs! is there a support group in your area you can join? when I went through something similar, individual therapy helped me a lot. you're a great mom and everything will feel better when you get past this stage of shock.

[Anonymous]

OP, if he did it through child find and you refuse services, those records probably will not follow him. If you do it at age 3, yes it will follow him.

Bigger questions: Regardless of what it is, how are you going to get services for him. If you can either private pay or go only through insurance, then yes, drop it and do that. (we do private only). If he is delayed, he needs services. How you choose to do them is your choice but it would be a huge mistake not to have him engaged in services.

Its not a race issue like you are making it out to be. There IS a stigma despite what people say. That is why we kept our child out of the public system. We'll be transferring in the next year or two and he may need an IEP but at that point, it will be minimal. We did private therapies and private school until he caught up more. There are only a few mild academic issues. When we go to public we'll keep up with private services.

However, if your child has issues when he is school age, you will need to get one or he'll get lost and fail (which can happen anyway with a bad teacher).

There IS a stigma despite what people say. We've had it many many times. I agree with you to keep things early on out of the school system but you need a replacement, being all private services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

There is something you can do - go all private either paying yourself or via your health insurance. Public services are just one way to do it. Its not the only way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

There is something you can do - go all private either paying yourself or via your health insurance. Public services are just one way to do it. Its not the only way.

But once the child is ready for preschool things might become more difficult. Not sure where OP is located, but some states have good preschool programs like PEP in MD and VA. Private preschools may not be able or willing to cope with a child who is different in any way, unless it is a special needs school or inclusion school. Eventually the child has to go to school, so that's when doing everything privately may not be possible anymore. Plenty of people around here report that for mild ASD their child does the best with an IEP in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

There is something you can do - go all private either paying yourself or via your health insurance. Public services are just one way to do it. Its not the only way.

But once the child is ready for preschool things might become more difficult. Not sure where OP is located, but some states have good preschool programs like PEP in MD and VA. Private preschools may not be able or willing to cope with a child who is different in any way, unless it is a special needs school or inclusion school. Eventually the child has to go to school, so that's when doing everything privately may not be possible anymore. Plenty of people around here report that for mild ASD their child does the best with an IEP in public.

OP hasn't stated how severe or if she even knows as things can change, especially for the better in the next few years. We did private preschool and a small private school. Eventually we will go to public but the small class sizes were vital for our child. Its very easy to do all private if you are wiling to pay and can find the right fit. I'm glad we did all private but that is based on my child's needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

There is something you can do - go all private either paying yourself or via your health insurance. Public services are just one way to do it. Its not the only way.

But once the child is ready for preschool things might become more difficult. Not sure where OP is located, but some states have good preschool programs like PEP in MD and VA. Private preschools may not be able or willing to cope with a child who is different in any way, unless it is a special needs school or inclusion school. Eventually the child has to go to school, so that's when doing everything privately may not be possible anymore. Plenty of people around here report that for mild ASD their child does the best with an IEP in public.

OP hasn't stated how severe or if she even knows as things can change, especially for the better in the next few years. We did private preschool and a small private school. Eventually we will go to public but the small class sizes were vital for our child. Its very easy to do all private if you are wiling to pay and can find the right fit. I'm glad we did all private but that is based on my child's needs.

PP, paying for private school means you are financially able--not willing. This price tag doesn't include any additional therapies that a child might need like occupational, speech, or behavioral therapy. Also, great if your kid needed small class sizes in the early years, but the OP has no way of knowing of what kind of supports her kid will need in the future. Private school for NT or SN is expensive.

Also, trying to avoid the stigma of an IEP under the autism label is nothing to be proud of. It will be harder to get an IEP when your kid is older so cross your fingers he doesn't need one once he gets into public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for responding. I definitely appreciate the advice. Stigma--That's the word I was looking for. I want him to get these services if he needs them, but I don't want him to be stigmatized. I know it's probably nothing I can do about that. This process makes me feel as though my son's life is passing right in front of my eyes. I just want it to slow it all down.

There is something you can do - go all private either paying yourself or via your health insurance. Public services are just one way to do it. Its not the only way.

But once the child is ready for preschool things might become more difficult. Not sure where OP is located, but some states have good preschool programs like PEP in MD and VA. Private preschools may not be able or willing to cope with a child who is different in any way, unless it is a special needs school or inclusion school. Eventually the child has to go to school, so that's when doing everything privately may not be possible anymore. Plenty of people around here report that for mild ASD their child does the best with an IEP in public.

OP hasn't stated how severe or if she even knows as things can change, especially for the better in the next few years. We did private preschool and a small private school. Eventually we will go to public but the small class sizes were vital for our child. Its very easy to do all private if you are wiling to pay and can find the right fit. I'm glad we did all private but that is based on my child's needs.

I think it can be hard to find a private that fits especially if there are any behavioral issues. Not impossible and in some cases might be a better fit. but it seems like most parents on this board had good experienced with PEP but often had a hard time finding a mainstream private. The SN private schools are expensive and scattered geographically.

[Anonymous]

How does going to a private school avoid stigma? Your child is just stigmatized by a different group of kids.