Shall I disregard what teacher says and let DS read his books in the class? Advise please.

[Anonymous]

DS is in 2nd grade. He is academically do well, but struggle with paying attention to his teacher in class. Per his teacher, he constantly drifts off in the class and reads his own books. Now he is not allow to keep his books around him in the class and has to leave his book in his backpack during the class.
He does has trouble concentrate on things that he doesn’t feel fun. It’s painful for him to sit there and day dreaming. Shall I tell his teacher let him read his own book when he feels bored? Any suggestion would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

He's going to have to practice paying attention even when he feels bored. I empathize, I daydreamed a lot in school, too. But eventually you grow up and get a job, and you better have developed habits that allow you to pay attention despite not being 100% engaged with self-selected activities. The earlier he learns and starts practicing this, the better.

[Anonymous]

Does "being bored in class" happen when the teacher is giving instruction, or when he's finished doing solo work before the rest of the class? I'd talk to his teacher about letting him read his books if he's finished work before the rest of the class, but certainly not during instructional time. If he is drifting off during instructional time, perhaps he can work with the teacher on other methods to keep engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does "being bored in class" happen when the teacher is giving instruction, or when he's finished doing solo work before the rest of the class? I'd talk to his teacher about letting him read his books if he's finished work before the rest of the class, but certainly not during instructional time. If he is drifting off during instructional time, perhaps he can work with the teacher on other methods to keep engaged.

Very good point! i will check with his teacher. Thanks much.

[Anonymous]

Letting him read his own books rather than participate in class doesn't solve the problem. Is he able to complete assignments correctly? Is the issue is that he doesn't need the amount of instruction the teacher is offering in order to complete the assignments correctly? Or that the work is too easy? Or that he just spaces out and doesn't do the work? Each of those issues would require a different solution. He should be completing assignments first before reading his own book. I would ask if the teacher would keep his book in her desk, and once he showed her that he had completed his work correctly, he could read on his own. If he's not able to to complete work, you should ask for an evaluation.

[Anonymous]

Are you serious? You need to listen to what the teacher says.

[Anonymous]

My 5th grader has struggled with this for years. He was recently diagnosed with severe ADHD, which was simply a confirmation, for school purposes, of what we had already suspected. Since he has always had trouble with inattention, we knew the book reading thing was just one consequence of his disorder. It's an impulse problem, OP, for children who like to read, and who are probably well ahead of their classmates. They can't resist the temptation.

First, he cannot read while the teacher is talking. That's just rude, plus he has to "try" to pay attention. Despite his obvious intelligence, he might also miss important facts! he can absolutely read when he's finished his work, although you need to tell the teacher he might need help putting his book away when another lesson starts! My son is oblivious to anything going on around him when he reads.

Second, you have to discuss with the teacher what acceleration or differentiation he could use. Is he already in the highest reading group/spelling group/math group, whatever? How can he be more challenged?

Third, if you think that both school and home life are negatively impacted by his inattention and/or processing speed and/or impulsivity and/or socialization, which can all be affected in children with ADHD, then it may be time to have him evaluated. If there is a diagnosis, the school can offer free services and accommodations for him, instead of making him feel guilty that he can't pay attention properly.

[Anonymous]

Should the teacher instruct your child that it's okay to ignore your instructions to come to the dinner table and instead continue to watch television? Because that's what you are instructing your child to do in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

No. Imagine it from the teacher's perspective. First off, he may be reading during instructional time, which could cause him to miss valuable information. Second, if she allows it for your son she has to allow it for everyone. Third, you telling her to allow it does not mean that she will (or should) allow it. It's her classroom, her rules. It's hard enough to keep a class full of 2nd graders on task without parents insisting their own rules be followed in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should the teacher instruct your child that it's okay to ignore your instructions to come to the dinner table and instead continue to watch television? Because that's what you are instructing your child to do in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 5th grader has struggled with this for years. He was recently diagnosed with severe ADHD, which was simply a confirmation, for school purposes, of what we had already suspected. Since he has always had trouble with inattention, we knew the book reading thing was just one consequence of his disorder. It's an impulse problem, OP, for children who like to read, and who are probably well ahead of their classmates. They can't resist the temptation.

First, he cannot read while the teacher is talking. That's just rude, plus he has to "try" to pay attention. Despite his obvious intelligence, he might also miss important facts! he can absolutely read when he's finished his work, although you need to tell the teacher he might need help putting his book away when another lesson starts! My son is oblivious to anything going on around him when he reads.

Second, you have to discuss with the teacher what acceleration or differentiation he could use. Is he already in the highest reading group/spelling group/math group, whatever? How can he be more challenged?

Third, if you think that both school and home life are negatively impacted by his inattention and/or processing speed and/or impulsivity and/or socialization, which can all be affected in children with ADHD, then it may be time to have him evaluated. If there is a diagnosis, the school can offer free services and accommodations for him, instead of making him feel guilty that he can't pay attention properly.

OP here. I appreciate your input and agree with them all. DS is a smart and super sweet boy, despite that he does have impulsivity and socialization issues. I am hesitated to have him evaluated because I don’t know what’s the impact it will bring to him. He just wants to be a normal boy.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to take a slightly different tack than other posters.

Some people are not auditory learners. This is common with Adhd, but affects others as well. I am not an auditory learner and absolutely cannot pay attention when information I conveyed only orally. Nonetheless, I graduated near the top of my class from an Ivy and have a successful career. After elementary school, it is very rare for information to be conveyed in solely oral format. When I attend (or give) presentations, there is generally a power point and/or an outline accompanying the presentation. In upper grades, this is also true, and also the information is generally also contained in some sort of textbook. Also, older students can take notes of oral presentations. For me, writing the information down on paper so that I could see if was enough to help me absorb the information. But in elementary school, I typically just read (or got in trouble for not paying attention). I was in a school with very large classes (40+) so the teachers didn't really care. My father, who went to a one room school house, also read his way through elementary school. The teachers just let him read every single book in the school, then sent him to high school when he was done.

I agree with others that he can't be rude, and that he needs to learn the content that is being conveyed. But I think others are being simplistic that it's just a matter of him putting the book down. Can the teacher maybe work with you to make sure he's reading books that cover the material discussed in class? (like if they are talking about Martin Luther King, he should be reading a book about Dr. King). If he's even read a topic-specific book in advance, that might help him attend better to the lecture--that helps me a lot, as then the oral information is more of a refresher, or development of something I already know, and not new information.

On the impulse control thing, I agree wth others that this can be a part of it, especially if the issue is that he just can't wait to see how a particular book ends. Are you seeing similar "book addiction" or other impulsive behavior at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? You need to listen to what the teacher says.

Why do you have to respond in such a rude way to this mom? Be nice.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps home schooling would better suit your family's needs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I appreciate your input and agree with them all. DS is a smart and super sweet boy, despite that he does have impulsivity and socialization issues. I am hesitated to have him evaluated because I don’t know what’s the impact it will bring to him. He just wants to be a normal boy.

It wouldn't necessarily bring any impact to him. It will only provide information to you. What you choose to do with that information is up to you.