Shall I disregard what teacher says and let DS read his books in the class? Advise please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 5th grader has struggled with this for years. He was recently diagnosed with severe ADHD, which was simply a confirmation, for school purposes, of what we had already suspected. Since he has always had trouble with inattention, we knew the book reading thing was just one consequence of his disorder. It's an impulse problem, OP, for children who like to read, and who are probably well ahead of their classmates. They can't resist the temptation.

First, he cannot read while the teacher is talking. That's just rude, plus he has to "try" to pay attention. Despite his obvious intelligence, he might also miss important facts! he can absolutely read when he's finished his work, although you need to tell the teacher he might need help putting his book away when another lesson starts! My son is oblivious to anything going on around him when he reads.

Second, you have to discuss with the teacher what acceleration or differentiation he could use. Is he already in the highest reading group/spelling group/math group, whatever? How can he be more challenged?

Third, if you think that both school and home life are negatively impacted by his inattention and/or processing speed and/or impulsivity and/or socialization, which can all be affected in children with ADHD, then it may be time to have him evaluated. If there is a diagnosis, the school can offer free services and accommodations for him, instead of making him feel guilty that he can't pay attention properly.

OP here. I appreciate your input and agree with them all. DS is a smart and super sweet boy, despite that he does have impulsivity and socialization issues. I am hesitated to have him evaluated because I don’t know what’s the impact it will bring to him. He just wants to be a normal boy.

He sounds perfectly normal. Every single child would prefer not to focus on something he does not find fun. The purpose of school is to teach children things, whether or not they find them fun and interesting, unless you choose an alternative "unschooling"-type private school (which might appeal to you and your son, if you can afford it). All subjects will not be fun or interesting to all kids, no matter how engaging the teacher. This is either a problem with schools/education in general (and if you think it is, unschooling may appeal to you) or something children must learn to cope with. What are the other children in your son's class doing when the teacher is presenting material or requesting them to do things they find boring, uninteresting, or just plain not fun?

[Anonymous]

Don't most teachers let kids read when they are done with their seated work? That's been our experience. This is the only way kids many kids can get by in school and it's not just those with impulsivity or attention issues.

We're at a school where many of the kids are very advanced and if you drop by at a number of times a day you'll often see a bunch of them just reading while the teacher runs around helping the rest of the class (like my DS) finish up their work. I've never heard any of these children complaining that they are bored. If anything they seem really happy in the class.

If they had to sit around twiddling their thumbs I'm sure they'd create mischief and get in trouble and start to dislike school. It's a win-win for the teacher and the kids.

OP, I think it is more than reasonable for you to talk to the teacher about this. Forget those PPs who mentioned things like home schooling. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is in 2nd grade. He is academically do well, but struggle with paying attention to his teacher in class. Per his teacher, he constantly drifts off in the class and reads his own books. Now he is not allow to keep his books around him in the class and has to leave his book in his backpack during the class.
He does has trouble concentrate on things that he doesn’t feel fun. It’s painful for him to sit there and day dreaming. Shall I tell his teacher let him read his own book when he feels bored? Any suggestion would be appreciated.

How about you homeschool him and when he gets bored with you and starts looking into a book, you say great job!

[Anonymous]

My dd in 1st grade had this issue, so the teacher had dd put her books in a separate basket, and she could get her books and read them after she was done with the assigned work. I did get her an evaluation in the middle of 2nd grade, and she does have ADHD. We were able to get her 504 accommodations in 2nd grade including check in/check out procedure where she had a checklist she used every class. She got points if she started on time, stayed on task and ended on time. She went over her day before and after school with the counselor every day. She got a wiggle chair, seating at the front of the room, etc. In 3rd grade, she got an IEP including small group instruction for math and language arts.

I actually cried when I realized my dd had ADHD, but seeking accommodations has really benefited my child. We also finally tried medication at the end of 3rd grade not just for focus but also due to social issues. It has been very helpful for dd. She can tell it helps her focus and pay attention to her teachers and also helps her be able to read social cues better.

So, no don't disregard what the teacher says. Get in there and schedule a meeting with your teacher and after talking to her, consider getting your ds evaluated. We did an evaluation for ADHD and learning disabilities. Turns out her only learning disability was that she couldn't focus for more than a nanosecond unless it was of interest to her like making rainbow loom bracelets for 10 hours straight when that first became the rage. Kids with ADHD can hyperfocus on things that interest them. For your ds, that seems to be reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 5th grader has struggled with this for years. He was recently diagnosed with severe ADHD, which was simply a confirmation, for school purposes, of what we had already suspected. Since he has always had trouble with inattention, we knew the book reading thing was just one consequence of his disorder. It's an impulse problem, OP, for children who like to read, and who are probably well ahead of their classmates. They can't resist the temptation.

First, he cannot read while the teacher is talking. That's just rude, plus he has to "try" to pay attention. Despite his obvious intelligence, he might also miss important facts! he can absolutely read when he's finished his work, although you need to tell the teacher he might need help putting his book away when another lesson starts! My son is oblivious to anything going on around him when he reads.

Second, you have to discuss with the teacher what acceleration or differentiation he could use. Is he already in the highest reading group/spelling group/math group, whatever? How can he be more challenged?

Third, if you think that both school and home life are negatively impacted by his inattention and/or processing speed and/or impulsivity and/or socialization, which can all be affected in children with ADHD, then it may be time to have him evaluated. If there is a diagnosis, the school can offer free services and accommodations for him, instead of making him feel guilty that he can't pay attention properly.

OP here. I appreciate your input and agree with them all. DS is a smart and super sweet boy, despite that he does have impulsivity and socialization issues. I am hesitated to have him evaluated because I don’t know what’s the impact it will bring to him. He just wants to be a normal boy.

You are hesitant to have him evaluated? I don't understand. Parent the kid you have. If your kid needs help, it's your job to find it for him so he can achieve to the best of his potential.

[Anonymous]

You could have written this about my son - except he is in 4th grade. We had to stop allowing his to take books to school because it is important to follow directions, and pay attention (or at least pretend to.)

DS finds it hard to resist reading if he has a book in his desk, but that doesn't mean he has impulse control. It means he is a normal 9y old.

[Anonymous]

No. You should not dirregard the teachers rules. Are you really saying that you feel sorry for your son because he is bored daydreaming instead of paying attention? Or is the issue reading after he is done with his work? If it is the latter, the. Out you should do is work with the teacher on a system that works. Not ignore her rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 5th grader has struggled with this for years. He was recently diagnosed with severe ADHD, which was simply a confirmation, for school purposes, of what we had already suspected. Since he has always had trouble with inattention, we knew the book reading thing was just one consequence of his disorder. It's an impulse problem, OP, for children who like to read, and who are probably well ahead of their classmates. They can't resist the temptation.

First, he cannot read while the teacher is talking. That's just rude, plus he has to "try" to pay attention. Despite his obvious intelligence, he might also miss important facts! he can absolutely read when he's finished his work, although you need to tell the teacher he might need help putting his book away when another lesson starts! My son is oblivious to anything going on around him when he reads.

Second, you have to discuss with the teacher what acceleration or differentiation he could use. Is he already in the highest reading group/spelling group/math group, whatever? How can he be more challenged?

Third, if you think that both school and home life are negatively impacted by his inattention and/or processing speed and/or impulsivity and/or socialization, which can all be affected in children with ADHD, then it may be time to have him evaluated. If there is a diagnosis, the school can offer free services and accommodations for him, instead of making him feel guilty that he can't pay attention properly.

OP here. I appreciate your input and agree with them all. DS is a smart and super sweet boy, despite that he does have impulsivity and socialization issues. I am hesitated to have him evaluated because I don’t know what’s the impact it will bring to him. He just wants to be a normal boy.

I'm the PP you responded to.
Why does he want to be a normal boy? Is it because he feels different? My son knew at 4 that he was different, and having a diagnosis and a very detailed scientific explanation of how ADHD impacts his brain was an IMMENSE relief. He was feeling so guilty for not being able to pay attention like the rest of the class. There are many students with ADHD in schools nowadays, many of whom receive subtle or not so subtle help from paraeducators in class. And kids without services ask help from paras as well, so they end up walking around the class, and no one cares who has the official accommodations or not.

Since my son has severe ADHD, things only got significantly better with meds. But the accommodations, such as frequent subtle reminders to stay on task, regular check-ins with the para or teacher, preferential seating, extra time on tests, and in his case, free speech therapy at school etc, were extremely useful to him until 4th grade, when school expectations increased and we were forced to conclude he needed meds. The difference was night and day, OP. He had started to get depressed and has lost his friends in 4th grade, his grades had plummeted and the teacher even suggested he needed remedial math. When he was medicated, he started smiling again, struck up new friendships, was bumped up to all the highest groups, and received top grades. I'm telling you this so that you keep the long-view. What your son needs now might not be what he needs a few years from now, or as a teen, or as an adult. You can only do the best you can for the child he is now. I highly recommend the Stixrud group for their very thorough neuro-psychological evaluation, they are professional and extremely knowledgeable, including about how best to present medical information to schools in order to receive services.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't most teachers let kids read when they are done with their seated work? That's been our experience. This is the only way kids many kids can get by in school and it's not just those with impulsivity or attention issues.

We're at a school where many of the kids are very advanced and if you drop by at a number of times a day you'll often see a bunch of them just reading while the teacher runs around helping the rest of the class (like my DS) finish up their work. I've never heard any of these children complaining that they are bored. If anything they seem really happy in the class.

If they had to sit around twiddling their thumbs I'm sure they'd create mischief and get in trouble and start to dislike school. It's a win-win for the teacher and the kids.

OP, I think it is more than reasonable for you to talk to the teacher about this. Forget those PPs who mentioned things like home schooling. Sheesh.

I don't think this is the issue. I currently have a student who trys to read during math class every day instead of working on problems. Math is hard and reading is enjoyable for him. I think any teacher would encourage reading if they are done early but reading when you are supposed to be doing something else is a distraction.

[Anonymous]

I remember getting yelled at for reading during math class. While I don't think yelling was a solution, I had poor impulse control and bad study skills all the way through high school. Help your child, OP, to delay gratification and to long term planning for the things he wants. This is one of the most important life skills he can learn.

[Anonymous]

So let me get this straight:

You want to purposely ignore the teacher and let him do whatever he wants in class, like read his own books.

Despite this and seeing signs of inattentiveness and impulsivity, you won't get him evaluated because you want him to be "normal."

I would offer advice but it would be wasted. Good luck to you. I mean it. Good freaking luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is in 2nd grade. He is academically do well, but struggle with paying attention to his teacher in class. Per his teacher, he constantly drifts off in the class and reads his own books. Now he is not allow to keep his books around him in the class and has to leave his book in his backpack during the class.
He does has trouble concentrate on things that he doesn’t feel fun. It’s painful for him to sit there and day dreaming. Shall I tell his teacher let him read his own book when he feels bored? Any suggestion would be appreciated.

I'm a teacher and I would suggest a conference with his teacher to parse this out further. Of course everyone has to learn to sit and pay attention even when things are not fun, but restricting access to books seems a bit excessive--and likely to discourage reading and instead encourage other off-task behaviors like playing in the desk, etc. I would clarify:
*When is he reading? During direct instruction from the teacher, during group tasks, during independent work, etc.
*Is he completing work? To what degree and how often?
*Is this happening in specific subjects/times of the day?

If he is picking up a book during direct instruction of material he already knows, the teacher might be able to find another task for him to do--I've used centers & things like that.

I would also discuss with your son that sometimes we have to pay attention even when we think we already know what's being said, because we may not know all the details and need to hear directions, etc. You might work with the teacher to give him an active task during direct instruction--like to make a list of questions he wants to explore on his own time, or to listen and write the most important fact down on a sticky note, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is in 2nd grade. He is academically do well, but struggle with paying attention to his teacher in class. Per his teacher, he constantly drifts off in the class and reads his own books. Now he is not allow to keep his books around him in the class and has to leave his book in his backpack during the class.
He does has trouble concentrate on things that he doesn’t feel fun. It’s painful for him to sit there and day dreaming. Shall I tell his teacher let him read his own book when he feels bored? Any suggestion would be appreciated.

How about you homeschool him and when he gets bored with you and starts looking into a book, you say great job!

+1

How do you feel OP when DD ignores you to read? Setting the table is boring, I rather read. Would you put up with that?

Get a backbone lady. Not all kids like school. The new curriculum is so slow and boring but he still has to pay attention and listen/respect his teacher. This is something he has to learn about life and it is your job to teach him. Do not be that mom that thinks you have better ideas than the teacher's classroom rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is in 2nd grade. He is academically do well, but struggle with paying attention to his teacher in class. Per his teacher, he constantly drifts off in the class and reads his own books. Now he is not allow to keep his books around him in the class and has to leave his book in his backpack during the class.
He does has trouble concentrate on things that he doesn’t feel fun. It’s painful for him to sit there and day dreaming. Shall I tell his teacher let him read his own book when he feels bored? Any suggestion would be appreciated.

I'm a teacher and I would suggest a conference with his teacher to parse this out further. Of course everyone has to learn to sit and pay attention even when things are not fun, but restricting access to books seems a bit excessive--and likely to discourage reading and instead encourage other off-task behaviors like playing in the desk, etc. I would clarify:
*When is he reading? During direct instruction from the teacher, during group tasks, during independent work, etc.
*Is he completing work? To what degree and how often?
*Is this happening in specific subjects/times of the day?

If he is picking up a book during direct instruction of material he already knows, the teacher might be able to find another task for him to do--I've used centers & things like that.

I would also discuss with your son that sometimes we have to pay attention even when we think we already know what's being said, because we may not know all the details and need to hear directions, etc. You might work with the teacher to give him an active task during direct instruction--like to make a list of questions he wants to explore on his own time, or to listen and write the most important fact down on a sticky note, etc.

OP here. Thank you everyone for all the experience sharing, suggestions and questionings.

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You might work with the teacher to give him an active task during direct instruction--like to make a list of questions he wants to explore on his own time, or to listen and write the most important fact down on a sticky note,

This is a brilliant idea. I will definitely work with the teacher on this.

[Anonymous]

No, OP you don't ignore what the teacher has to say. He's reading when he shouldn't be, it doesn't matter that he's "bored." Don't teach him to ignore the teacher.

Also, why do people jump to ADHD or something when a kid is "bored" in school or doesn't want to listen? MAYBE it's as simple as he doesn't think he needs to listen because that's mom's attitude.