SFS Seniors house party?

[Anonymous]

A few days ago my DC told me of a house party that his class was planning on throwing, renting a house in "a secluded, forest-y area" for an entire weekend. Between then and now I received an email from the principal of the upper school strongly discouraging me from letting my son attend this party (including a reminder that the "School will report serious disciplinary decisions to colleges")--and now I have so many questions. First, I do agree that on a drinking/drugs/sex level this party sounds like a very bad idea, but a) is it really? and b) is it really within the school's jurisdiction to try to interfere? Second, to me it seems as though Sidwell (the senior class, beyond that I don't really know) is spiraling out of control. With everything from behavior at sporting events to underage drinking citations and parties with the police getting involved (not to mention the even more recent tragic news of on-campus sexual assault), I have become legitimately worried for my DC's well-being and the well-being of the rest of his classmates. I get that senior year (especially this semester) is supposed to be fun, but where do these kids draw the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few days ago my DC told me of a house party that his class was planning on throwing, renting a house in "a secluded, forest-y area" for an entire weekend. Between then and now I received an email from the principal of the upper school strongly discouraging me from letting my son attend this party (including a reminder that the "School will report serious disciplinary decisions to colleges")--and now I have so many questions. First, I do agree that on a drinking/drugs/sex level this party sounds like a very bad idea, but a) is it really? and b) is it really within the school's jurisdiction to try to interfere? Second, to me it seems as though Sidwell (the senior class, beyond that I don't really know) is spiraling out of control. With everything from behavior at sporting events to underage drinking citations and parties with the police getting involved (not to mention the even more recent tragic news of on-campus sexual assault), I have become legitimately worried for my DC's well-being and the well-being of the rest of his classmates. I get that senior year (especially this semester) is supposed to be fun, but where do these kids draw the line?

Seriously, the school is trying to help you parent. And you question their 'jurisdiction'? I'm thrilled when I'm not the only one saying 'No', I'd love for the school to have my back on something like this as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Worst troll attempt ever. Keep trying, OP.

[Anonymous]

Not a troll attempt, unfortunately. But thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Worst troll attempt ever. Keep trying, OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Your job and the job of the school (in part) is to help kids learn where to draw the line. Bad behavior at sporting events, underage drinking, and house parties have been part of the high school landscape for decades. Kids will push boundaries - the job of schools and parents is to set boundaries and enforce appropriate consequences. It sounds like SFS is trying to that in the case of this house party.

[Anonymous]

120 kids in a house for a weekend? What could go wrong?

[Anonymous]

I think the School is sending its students and parents a valuable message. A largely unsupervised party is a very bad idea because many school rules may be broken, some illegal activities may take place, and some unwanted consequences may follow. In light of recent posts about possible drug use and sex without consent, I think the School rightly does not want to find itself making hard decisions about student behavior possibly coming out of a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few days ago my DC told me of a house party that his class was planning on throwing, renting a house in "a secluded, forest-y area" for an entire weekend. Between then and now I received an email from the principal of the upper school strongly discouraging me from letting my son attend this party (including a reminder that the "School will report serious disciplinary decisions to colleges")--and now I have so many questions. First, I do agree that on a drinking/drugs/sex level this party sounds like a very bad idea, but a) is it really? and b) is it really within the school's jurisdiction to try to interfere? Second, to me it seems as though Sidwell (the senior class, beyond that I don't really know) is spiraling out of control. With everything from behavior at sporting events to underage drinking citations and parties with the police getting involved (not to mention the even more recent tragic news of on-campus sexual assault), I have become legitimately worried for my DC's well-being and the well-being of the rest of his classmates. I get that senior year (especially this semester) is supposed to be fun, but where do these kids draw the line?

If one of those kids leaves the party intoxicated, drives and kills himself and others, you'd be having a hissy fit and threatening to sue the school for not intervening as they knew this type of party was going to take place.

Sidwell is not spiraling out of control. Teens everywhere, from Landon to Holton to St. Albans and others, are dealing with this teen rite of social passage. I say kudos to Sidwell for stepping in and expressing their concerns and threatening disciplinary action. Nip it in the bud (as Barney Fife would say) NOW rather than later. It could be YOUR child that is innocently in the way of some intoxicated teen.

[Anonymous]

Not to mention the problematic possibilities when you have 100+ students possibly engaged in underage drinking.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing that you have described that hasn't been a part of the high school experience since, well high schools were created. Yes, there was the recent incident with the police involvement, but that happens at other schools as well.

I don't see what you have described as a spiraling out of control. I see it as a you are aware that your child and their peers are at an age of discovery and experimentation and are pushing boundaries.

When I was in high school, one of the classmate's had a house in a secluded, woodsy area and many of the classmates would go, maybe once a month and drink, do light drugs and have sex. There was also beach week, where we rented houses at the MD/DEL shore for the week after school, both junior and senior years, and unsupervised, drove down, grocery shopped, cooked, hung out that the beach and partied.

Is it the school's place to sanction or condone these activities? I don't know, but things have changed a lot since we were kids. The drinking age is higher, and the penalty for breaking the law are more strident. As such, we as parents have to decide how to educate our kids and make sure they understand that they are responsible for their actions, and from there decide what activities they will participate in.

I would let my kid go on something like this, but I would also tell them they as an 18 year old, they are responsibile for their actions and to behave accordingly.

[Anonymous]

In the 90s (and I assume today), all the private school kids got in cars (filled with beer) and drove to Rehoboth for beach week. Lots of not ideal behavior, but nothing dangerous. Your senior will be off to college next year and this will be every weekend. SFS isn't spiraling out of control, the school is trying to do what it can to prevent a disaster. I remember the school telling parents to talk to us about beach week, and they did. Said be careful, don't get caught, and don't do anything stupid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing that you have described that hasn't been a part of the high school experience since, well high schools were created. Yes, there was the recent incident with the police involvement, but that happens at other schools as well.

I don't see what you have described as a spiraling out of control. I see it as a you are aware that your child and their peers are at an age of discovery and experimentation and are pushing boundaries.

When I was in high school, one of the classmate's had a house in a secluded, woodsy area and many of the classmates would go, maybe once a month and drink, do light drugs and have sex. There was also beach week, where we rented houses at the MD/DEL shore for the week after school, both junior and senior years, and unsupervised, drove down, grocery shopped, cooked, hung out that the beach and partied.

Is it the school's place to sanction or condone these activities? I don't know, but things have changed a lot since we were kids. The drinking age is higher, and the penalty for breaking the law are more strident. As such, we as parents have to decide how to educate our kids and make sure they understand that they are responsible for their actions, and from there decide what activities they will participate in.

I would let my kid go on something like this, but I would also tell them they as an 18 year old, they are responsibile for their actions and to behave accordingly.

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

[Anonymous]

OP: Thank you for your input. I get that I may have just been overreacting. I flew pretty straight in HS/college and don't have good enough experience with these sorts of things.

[Anonymous]

This would never happen at GDS.