SFS Seniors house party?

[Anonymous]

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

IMO, it isn't wise to force your kid to skip. If after a discussion, they realize it might be unwise, then great. But precluding attendance may foster animosity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would never happen at GDS.

That right there is pretty funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing that you have described that hasn't been a part of the high school experience since, well high schools were created. Yes, there was the recent incident with the police involvement, but that happens at other schools as well.

I don't see what you have described as a spiraling out of control. I see it as a you are aware that your child and their peers are at an age of discovery and experimentation and are pushing boundaries.

When I was in high school, one of the classmate's had a house in a secluded, woodsy area and many of the classmates would go, maybe once a month and drink, do light drugs and have sex. There was also beach week, where we rented houses at the MD/DEL shore for the week after school, both junior and senior years, and unsupervised, drove down, grocery shopped, cooked, hung out that the beach and partied.

Is it the school's place to sanction or condone these activities? I don't know, but things have changed a lot since we were kids. The drinking age is higher, and the penalty for breaking the law are more strident. As such, we as parents have to decide how to educate our kids and make sure they understand that they are responsible for their actions, and from there decide what activities they will participate in.

I would let my kid go on something like this, but I would also tell them they as an 18 year old, they are responsibile for their actions and to behave accordingly.

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

Disagree. This is a "don't ask, don't tell" approach that sends a conflicting message. Drinking and pot are illegal, so if you go to this weekend house party where everyone is drinking and smoking pot, "be responsible." How about, no - you aren't going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few days ago my DC told me of a house party that his class was planning on throwing, renting a house in "a secluded, forest-y area" for an entire weekend. Between then and now I received an email from the principal of the upper school strongly discouraging me from letting my son attend this party (including a reminder that the "School will report serious disciplinary decisions to colleges")--and now I have so many questions. First, I do agree that on a drinking/drugs/sex level this party sounds like a very bad idea, but a) is it really? and b) is it really within the school's jurisdiction to try to interfere? Second, to me it seems as though Sidwell (the senior class, beyond that I don't really know) is spiraling out of control. With everything from behavior at sporting events to underage drinking citations and parties with the police getting involved (not to mention the even more recent tragic news of on-campus sexual assault), I have become legitimately worried for my DC's well-being and the well-being of the rest of his classmates. I get that senior year (especially this semester) is supposed to be fun, but where do these kids draw the line?

If one of those kids leaves the party intoxicated, drives and kills himself and others, you'd be having a hissy fit and threatening to sue the school for not intervening as they knew this type of party was going to take place.

Sidwell is not spiraling out of control. Teens everywhere, from Landon to Holton to St. Albans and others, are dealing with this teen rite of social passage. I say kudos to Sidwell for stepping in and expressing their concerns and threatening disciplinary action. Nip it in the bud (as Barney Fife would say) NOW rather than later. It could be YOUR child that is innocently in the way of some intoxicated teen.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

IMO, it isn't wise to force your kid to skip. If after a discussion, they realize it might be unwise, then great. But precluding attendance may foster animosity. And there will be more animosity if they get caught up in police action. Difficult decision whether to attend. So much to lose. So much to experience. The final decision for an 18-year old will be is it worth it? Maybe stay for awhile then leave when things start getting out of hand.

No way is renting a house for a weekend leading to a campfire singing Kumbaya.

[Anonymous]

C'mon people. What parent would post that the school attended by their child is "spiraling out of control" and would connect the unfortunate sex issue to a senior end-of-year party? The first thing that they teach you at Sidwell is to critically evaluate information in context, with the veracity of the source is a primary consideration. My BS meter is beeping on this one. Which is not to say that the concerns and opinions raised by others are not thoughtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

IMO, it isn't wise to force your kid to skip. If after a discussion, they realize it might be unwise, then great. But precluding attendance may foster animosity. And there will be more animosity if they get caught up in police action. Difficult decision whether to attend. So much to lose. So much to experience. The final decision for an 18-year old will be is it worth it? Maybe stay for awhile then leave when things start getting out of hand.

No way is renting a house for a weekend leading to a campfire singing Kumbaya.

Wow, worrying about your kid being grouchy at you for you being a parent and trying to keep them from illegal underage drinking explicitly warned against by the school they still attend? I find the enabling tone of some of these posts pretty startling, and think there is a lot of hypocrisy around in terms of what people think/want/expect from schools by way of character education and discipline.

In the vein of "physician, heal thyself," how about "parents, parent thy offspring."

[Anonymous]

FYI, parents -- the police in the relevant jurisdiction have already been notified (by a community member who learned of the true purpose of the rental).

It is highly likely that there will be a police visit to the property.

Take that into account, if the idea of letting your child go to a giant unsupervised drug/alcohol/sex-fest while still in high school doesn't give you pause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would never happen at GDS.

Which part? The school forewarning the parents of the existence of the party and reminding them of the potential consequences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

IMO, it isn't wise to force your kid to skip. If after a discussion, they realize it might be unwise, then great. But precluding attendance may foster animosity.

And there will be more animosity if they get caught up in police action. Difficult decision whether to attend. So much to lose. So much to experience. The final decision for an 18-year old will be is it worth it? Maybe stay for awhile then leave when things start getting out of hand.

No way is renting a house for a weekend leading to a campfire singing Kumbaya.

Wow, worrying about your kid being grouchy at you for you being a parent and trying to keep them from illegal underage drinking explicitly warned against by the school they still attend? I find the enabling tone of some of these posts pretty startling, and think there is a lot of hypocrisy around in terms of what people think/want/expect from schools by way of character education and discipline.

In the vein of "physician, heal thyself," how about "parents, parent thy offspring."

Agree. What message are you sending to your kid if the principal, headmaster, whatever sends an email to all parents saying "Don't let your kid go to this" and then you let them go?? I don't care if my kids feel animosity towards me for enforcing rules and laws. This is why these parties happen. No one says no to their kids. Is Malia going? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI, parents -- the police in the relevant jurisdiction have already been notified (by a community member who learned of the true purpose of the rental).

It is highly likely that there will be a police visit to the property.

Take that into account, if the idea of letting your child go to a giant unsupervised drug/alcohol/sex-fest while still in high school doesn't give you pause.

Especially if your kid is 18 and will have an adult record.

[Anonymous]

WTF is wrong with some of you? Of course, you tell your kid this is an incredibly stupid plan and s/he can't go.

[Anonymous]

OP to PP 9:21 -- I was not trying to connect this house party to the alleged sexual assault. However, the culture of partying and drinking seems to have a correlation to an overall disrespect of social boundaries (whether it be at a volleyball game or in an sexual situation). And rape (or alleged rape, as it may stand right now) is much more than "the unfortunate sex issue"--it's a legitimate problem that to me seems indicative of larger disrespect for women's bodies and personal boundaries in the Sidwell community. But there's an entirely different thread on that.

Regarding the police: I definitely would not want my child to be entangled with the police, whether he'd been engaged in illegal activity or just around drinking/drugs. And if the police know/local community knows, shouldn't the owner of the rental house know? If he/she refuses to rent out the house in the first place, then this whole discussion could be (thankfully) for naught.

I agree that some of these posts sound enabling, but I also agree that I want my child to have fun and gain some of the high school experience that I didn't have. That being said--this increasingly sounds like an event that I want my son steering clear of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:120 kids in a house for a weekend? What could go wrong?

Just ask Maryland Governor Doug Gansler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree that an 18 year old is responsible for their actions (some kids at the party will be 17). Police intervention will sweep up everyone including those who are 'innocent.' I would discourage my kid an err on the side of caution.

IMO, it isn't wise to force your kid to skip. If after a discussion, they realize it might be unwise, then great. But precluding attendance may foster animosity.

And there will be more animosity if they get caught up in police action. Difficult decision whether to attend. So much to lose. So much to experience. The final decision for an 18-year old will be is it worth it? Maybe stay for awhile then leave when things start getting out of hand.

No way is renting a house for a weekend leading to a campfire singing Kumbaya.

Wow, worrying about your kid being grouchy at you for you being a parent and trying to keep them from illegal underage drinking explicitly warned against by the school they still attend? I find the enabling tone of some of these posts pretty startling, and think there is a lot of hypocrisy around in terms of what people think/want/expect from schools by way of character education and discipline.

In the vein of "physician, heal thyself," how about "parents, parent thy offspring."

Agree. What message are you sending to your kid if the principal, headmaster, whatever sends an email to all parents saying "Don't let your kid go to this" and then you let them go?? I don't care if my kids feel animosity towards me for enforcing rules and laws. This is why these parties happen. No one says no to their kids. Is Malia going? I doubt it.