Can't tell my mother I love her

[Anonymous]

I'm really not sure why. Between probably having Aspegers and our (ok, her) toxic relationship, I just can't get the words to come out of my mouth. She's 65 and has been making more and more comments about dying, so this really bothers me. Advice?

[Anonymous]

Try not to be so literal. You don't actually have to feel loving toward her to say it. It doesn't make you inaccurate or a liar. Just tell her you love her and move the conversation on to something you guys don't argue about.

[Anonymous]

My mom passed away suddenly on Monday. I would give anything to tell her I love her. Do it and treasure every moment. It can all be taken from you in a minute.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you don't love her. Maybe she did things, and maybe she still does things, that lead to your not loving her. It's ok that you don't love her, and you don't need to say it if it's not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom passed away suddenly on Monday. I would give anything to tell her I love her. Do it and treasure every moment. It can all be taken from you in a minute.

This. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Mother's Day is coming up. Send as card (as usual, I presume) and add an "I Love You" at the end. Easy.

[Anonymous]

The card, plus if "I love you" is too hard, "Love ya", "Love you", "Wuv you", XOXO, or drawing a heart, works too.

[Anonymous]

I can definitely do a Mother's Day card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The card, plus if "I love you" is too hard, "Love ya", "Love you", "Wuv you", XOXO, or drawing a heart, works too.

This. You don't need to wait until mother's day.

[Anonymous]

Also if you have kids, it's a lot easier to say "we love you!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely do a Mother's Day card.

No reason to wait until Mother's Day. Just send a card or a letter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not sure why. Between probably having Aspegers and our (ok, her) toxic relationship, I just can't get the words to come out of my mouth. She's 65 and has been making more and more comments about dying, so this really bothers me. Advice?

She gave you life, took care of you when you were helpless, undoubtedly made some sacrifices for you and yet you cannot find a single reason to tell her that you love her. If she has Aspergers then you know thstvshevhas a genuine medical problen that caused her behavior. Will you not love your child(ren) if one of them is diagnosed with Aspergers?

Parents are not perfect. Ward and June Cleaver are fictional characters. We all make mistakes in our parenting but we love our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not sure why. Between probably having Aspegers and our (ok, her) toxic relationship, I just can't get the words to come out of my mouth. She's 65 and has been making more and more comments about dying, so this really bothers me. Advice?

She gave you life, took care of you when you were helpless, undoubtedly made some sacrifices for you and yet you cannot find a single reason to tell her that you love her. If she has Aspergers then you know thstvshevhas a genuine medical problen that caused her behavior. Will you not love your child(ren) if one of them is diagnosed with Aspergers?

Parents are not perfect. Ward and June Cleaver are fictional characters. We all make mistakes in our parenting but we love our children.

The Asperger's may EXPLAIN some of her mother's behavior, but it does not EXCUSE it.

Also, not all parents love their children. I'm not saying OPs mother doesn't love her, but it is not universal that parents love their children. Just like Ward and June Cleaver are not the universal representation of parenting. The other end of the spectrum exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not sure why. Between probably having Aspegers and our (ok, her) toxic relationship, I just can't get the words to come out of my mouth. She's 65 and has been making more and more comments about dying, so this really bothers me. Advice?

She gave you life, took care of you when you were helpless, undoubtedly made some sacrifices for you and yet you cannot find a single reason to tell her that you love her. If she has Aspergers then you know thstvshevhas a genuine medical problen that caused her behavior. Will you not love your child(ren) if one of them is diagnosed with Aspergers?

Parents are not perfect. Ward and June Cleaver are fictional characters. We all make mistakes in our parenting but we love our children.

+1
Your mom doesn't sound abusive, OP. Sounds like you are the one with aspergers (undiagnosed, I'm guessing, since you'd probably see a specialist/therapist if you really had a diagnosis, and that person could help you through this sort of thing).

It's very selfish to not say you love your parents.

[Anonymous]

I don't tell my parents I love them. It's just not what we do. It's weird. I tell my kid I love her all the time though.